Do you hate it when people insult you and want to give them a nice, smooth comeback? Then forget the "your mom" and "your face" rants and follow these steps: ask them is that all you got?
Steps
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Be relaxed, as usual. If you get angered when someone insults you, you somehow automatically lose your nerves. So listen carefully to their insult, and it'll come to you easier. -
Don't overdo it. If you say something so complex and outrageous, no one will be impressed. Here's an example: say someone calls you fat. Don't say: "Well, I could use my belly to blow your skinny face into the ground." It just seems pathetic, trying to save face with humor. Instead, maybe try "Well it's better to be fat and happy rather than a stick like yourself."Advertisement -
Try to avoid saying "um" and "uh". All comebacks should flow perfectly. Try to avoid stuttering as well. -
Be clever enough to make it so they can't think of another comeback to your comeback. Like someone says you're the stupidest person ever, you could say, "And why are you telling me this?" The only thing they could say after that is, "Cause you can't do anything good." -
Put what they say to your advantage. This will help you get a comeback, and can embarrass your opponent as well! for example, if they say that you are disgusting, you can say "look who's talking" back. -
Pretend to be in a hurry and say, "I don't have time for this." Maybe an even better comeback would be "I don't have time for immature viewpoints such as yours", then walk away. It leaves them in the dust. Be sure not to sound panicked like "Oh crap! Oh no, I don't have time for this!" Make it so you seem superior to them. -
Don't use the same comebacks over and over again, even if it is good. That shouldn't have to be explained any better. -
Don't totally change the subject. If they say your clothes sucks don't talk trash about their clothes. You'll sound desperate to have a comeback. Say it gets you where you need to go. -
Be confident. If someone insults you, don't give up in the middle of your comeback. Example: "well, you're like...yeah...whatever!" Stay with it!
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Community Q&A
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QuestionWhat if someone keeps saying, "Did your mom drop you on your head, is that why you're so ugly?"V Is AliveCommunity AnswerYou can say, "If I was dropped on my head, then you were thrown out a window."
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QuestionWhat if they said I'm a noob?Diana QuezadaCommunity AnswerSay, "Yeah, you were too, or are shortcuts the only skill you know?" Then walk away and smile.
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QuestionWhat is a good comeback when someone told me to die in a fire?Community AnswerYou can respond with "I would most likely go to hell, but with you here, I'm already there."
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Tips
- Make a mental list of comebacks for different subjects. Like a comeback if someone calls you fat, make one up, then keep it in your mind. They say you're dumb? Think of a great comeback and put it in your brain.Thanks
- Don't use the "talk to the hand" or put your hand in their face. It looks pathetic and it shows that you're immature.Thanks
- Always act mature, even if you're really not. Especially when the other person is acting immature. If you act mature, they'll know that they can't upset you.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- If the insult involves brains, say, "It's too bad they don't give out awards for arrogance; you'd have a trophy case full," or "If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet." Flip the cleverness issue back onto them.
- If you're really stuck in the moment, go with the classic "I don't have the time or patience for this" exit. State it flatly, then walk away without looking flustered. Losing your cool could end up making you seem way worse by comparison.
- If someone calls you out for having no pals, don't freak out. Stay calm and say something like, "I'd rather have a couple of true friends than a ton of phonies." Focusing on trust over popularity makes you look confident.
- When working on a comeback, make sure to keep in mind who you're talking to and what they actually said to you. A response that crushes it with one group might bomb with another. Pay attention to context clues.
- If you find yourself struggling to think up a snappy comeback, subtly make fun of them instead. You could yawn, check your watch, or even inspect your nails. It'll make them feel bored rather than upset.
- Never ever use a comeback you spotted on the first Google results page. Getting busted searching the web for "good comebacks" is ten times more embarrassing than whatever they originally threw at you.
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Warnings
- Never try to explain your comeback if they don't get it, it will just ruin the moment.Thanks
- Don't brag about a good comeback to the person you used it on. This also ruins the moment.Thanks
- All of this insulting isn't good. But if you do get insulted, of course you need a comeback!Thanks
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About This Article
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 285,089 times.
Reader Success Stories
- "So my hair was made fun of for it being too long and eventually after I made a comeback, they never tried to insult me again!" ..." more
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"So my hair was made fun of for it being too long and eventually after I made a comeback, they never tried to insult me again!"
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"This helped me because of the answered questions. I now know that you're there if I need help with anything, so thank you."
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"So I'm trying to roast a boy in my class, and this helps me so much."
"Very useful! Worked hundreds of times on friends and enemies!"
"Liked that you're showing how to have a comeback. "
