How to Attract Any Girl With Playful Teasing (Expert-Backed Advice)

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The best ways to tease your girlfriend, date, or crush to drive her wild
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Playfully teasing a girl you like can be a great way to flirt and spark an attraction, but how do you actually do it without turning her off? It’s easier than you think, and just takes a little thought and respect. We talked to dating coaches and relationship counselors to show you how to tease a girl, how to make a good impression, and what not to do.

The Right Way to Tease Women

Make your tease positive by making it a compliment, like, “You’re way too easy to talk to, I feel like I’ll spill all my secrets.” Avoid teasing her about things like her appearance, and always keep it lighthearted and fun while respecting her boundaries.

Section 1 of 3:

What to Say When Teasing a Girl

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  1. When you tease her, it’s safest to highlight her positive qualities while also staying away from her physical qualities. [1] Notice the things she does while you are around her. Then, give a compliment or make a positive comment about how she does a certain thing that might be unusual. This shows her that you’re observant, and also that you appreciate her.
    • For example, you might say, “I love how easily you smile. I know my jokes can’t be that funny.”
    • “You’re always reading when I see you. I’ve bet you’ve read more books than anyone in this restaurant.
  2. 2
    Break the tension by acknowledging the awkwardness. When you first meet someone, you’re probably not familiar enough to really dig in with some teasing, so instead of teasing them, you can tease the situation. For example, dating coach Cher Gopman recommends a hug-hello when meeting a date. Chances are, it might be a little awkward, so you might say something like, “I’ll work on that for next time.”
    • If there’s an awkward silence, let it linger, then cut the tension by saying, “I see we’re both awkward silence enthusiasts,” or, “Somehow, it’s not an awkward silence when it’s with you.”
    • Avoid teasing her on her own awkwardness. Keep it to the general situation, or your own awkwardness.
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  3. Research shows that nicknames and pet names bring people closer together. [2] They’re also a great way to do a little teasing. As you are spending time together, take notice of something about her, like how much she laughs or the kind of movies she likes. Based on your observations, give you a nickname. If you make it playful and fun, she'll be more likely to play along.
    • For example, if she likes horror movies, you might call her “The Slasher.” If she loves to cook, you might call her “Chef.”
    • Of course, pay attention to the vibe. If she doesn’t laugh or smile, or seems awkward when you say it, she probably doesn’t enjoy it, and it’s best to drop it.
  4. 4
    Challenge her to a little friendly competition. Competition is a great way to get some banter going and to bring you closer together. [3] It gives you something to focus on, and you can learn a lot about someone by competing against them in a low-stakes game. Offer her a challenge to tease her in a way that’s exciting, and which gets the fire started. For example:
    • If you’re someplace with games, like billiards or even a basketball hoop, say, “Bet I can smoke you in some pool.”
    • Or, challenge her to a thumb war or an arm wrestling match to get some physical contact. Just be sure not to take it too seriously.
  5. 5
    Get into a character. A little role-playing is a fun way to lighten the mood. Plus, when you’re in a character, you can get away with a little more teasing. It’s just improv: find a character and think like they think, then use the character to poke a little fun. [4] For example:
    • If she mentions she has somewhere to be later, pretend you’re her secretary and remind her of her “appointment” at the end of the date.
    • If she comments on the meal at a restaurant, pretend you’re the chef and apologize for your mistakes, or accept the compliment yourself.
  6. 6
    Respectfully disagree with her to spark a conversation. When you’re talking to someone, a polite disagreement on low-stake opinions can spark discussion, and opportunities to lightly tease each other. Just remember not to make it personal, and not to be mean. Instead, ask questions and praise how thoughtful she is. [5] For example:
    • If your opinions on a movie or a book differ, say, “No way. You have such interesting taste! Tell me more about why you think that.”
    • Or, say, “I’ve never met someone who hates that movie. I’m dying to know why you can’t stand it.”
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Section 2 of 3:

Making a Good Impression

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  1. Dating coach John Keegan tells us that it’s “always a good idea” to make your teasing positive, harmless, and low-stakes. When you make your teasing too aggressive, or about her negative qualities she might be self-conscious of, you’ll just turn her off. Instead, always try to find a way to incorporate a compliment into your teasing, and to disguise it as praise.
    • It’s safest to avoid commenting on her physical appearance, or things she can’t control. Keep your teasing focused on her choices and behavior, like her habits or tastes.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 177 wikiHow readers if they think lightly teasing someone is an effective way to flirt, and 84% said yes . [Take Poll]
  2. “Flirting needs to be fun,” Gopman reminds us. No matter what you’re telling her, make sure you say it with a smile . Stay relaxed and keep your tone light to communicate that you’re just having fun. Otherwise, she might think you are serious and take whatever you say as an insult, especially if you look intense or serious.
    Andrew Bryant, Body Language and Interpersonal Communication Expert

    Skillful teasing creates a subtle push-pull dynamic that sparks exciting tension. But take care not to cross lines by getting too personal or mean-spirited. Flirtatious banter should feel fun and playful for both parties, eliciting genuine smiles and laughter.

  3. Using your body or the objects around you is classic comedy, and can be a great way to flirt . A good way to tease her that has the added bonus of bringing you into contact with her is by doing some physical teasing. Gopman reminds us to “be aware of their expression” and to ease up if they'e not into it.
    • For example, you might hold the door for her, then close it behind her without following, like you just forgot, and now you’re locked out.
    • Or, offer her some of your food, but then demand a trade. When she gives you some of hers, act like you’ve forgotten to share your own (then give her some extra when she points it out).
    • When you’re walking, put your hand on her back like a gentleman, then steer both of you in zigzags.
  4. 4
    Let her tease you back. Be prepared to get as good as you give. Teasing is a two-way street, and that’s a good thing! If she teases you back, it means she’s enjoying the banter and your dynamic is positive and friendly. [6] You might even encourage her to tease you by being a little self-deprecating (but not too much!)
    • For example, if she starts teasing you about being late, you might say, “I only do that to make my date look good. So, you’re welcome!”
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Section 3 of 3:

How Not to Tease a Girl

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  1. Relationship counselor Jason Polk says that making jokes at her expense isn’t a good idea. If you’re not sure about teasing her in the first place, then things such as insults about her physical appearance, her family, or her friends are definitely out of the question. Make sure the level of teasing is something she is comfortable with.
  2. Everyone has topics that are off-limits, or that they’re uncomfortable talking about. Part of flirting and having fun is respecting those things. If she doesn’t like to discuss her family, don’t tease her about it. If she doesn’t like teasing in general, then find other ways of flirting, like giving her compliments or gifts. When you respect her boundaries , she’ll be more comfortable and happier to see you. [7]
    • You may have to test out a few things before you truly understand where the boundaries are. Trust your instincts and watch for clues about how she feels.
  3. If your flirting falls flat, make sure you don't take your bad attempt out on her. Avoid blaming her or making her uncomfortable. That’s your mistake, so own it! Everyone makes mistakes, and laughing it off is a great way to move on and get back on track. [8]
    • If she’s offended by something you say, apologize sincerely and tell her you won’t go there again. Don’t just complain about her being “too sensitive.”
  4. If you’ve just met the girl, you shouldn’t tease her the same way you tease a close friend, or a girlfriend of several years. Making jokes about sex or inappropriately touching her are things you should avoid early on in a relationship. Make sure you aren't overly vulgar if that is going to make her uncomfortable. If you don’t know her very well, you’ll either freak her out or get a reputation as a jerk. Keep it light, at first. [9]
    • Later on in the relationship, when you’re closer and more familiar, you can go ahead and tease her in more intimate ways.
    • Also remember that she’s probably not the same as your guy friends. Not yet, at least!
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      • Make sure you pay attention to how she responds; you can tell almost anything from a girl from body language or tone of voice. Another good way to know if you’re in the teasing zone is if she is laughing at what you are saying. [10]
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      • If she doesn't seem to like your teasing, rethink your approach. Is your need to joke around at her expense really that important? Is that a deal breaker? If not, try stopping.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200607/the-art-the-tease
      2. ↑ https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/mind-guest-blog/why-do-we-use-pet-names-in-relationships/
      3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hope-relationships/201504/is-competition-between-men-healthy
      4. ↑ https://www.backstage.com/magazine/article/everything-know-improv-3218/
      5. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/tips-disagree.html
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/young-people-close/201704/learning-how-tease-and-be-teased
      7. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/social-connection/setting-healthy-boundaries-in-relationships
      8. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/laughter-is-the-best-medicine.htm
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/stronger-the-broken-places/201701/25-ways-you-can-show-respect-your-partner
      1. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/mindfulness/definition

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      To playfully tease girls, remember to be friendly, relaxed, and make comments with a genuine smile. You can make sly comments about how she does certain things, like the habitual way she tosses her hair, which will make her laugh and also subtly communicate to her that you've been paying attention. It's also important to let her tease you back in a similar way. That way, it will be a fun, back and forth conversation instead of one-sided. Never tease her about her physical appearance, her family, or her friends, which may hurt her feelings. For more tips on respecting her boundaries, read on!

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