Q&A for How to Ask a Shy Girl Out

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How do I strike up a conversation with a girl?

Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist
Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships.

Sarah Schewitz, PsyD

Licensed Psychologist

Expert Answer

Complimenting a woman is a great way to strike up a conversation. Just don't do it in a sexual way. You could say something like, “You have a great smile” or “I love that outfit” or “I think those shoes are great."

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Question

How do you ask someone out?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

You can start by identifying some interests you have in common. It is usually good to build from there. Find a common topic or interest, and start with that. Then you can add a question to that, like, "Would you like to see one of his movies sometime?"

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Question

How can a shy guy talk to a girl?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

A shy guy can plan out in advance what he might say or ask. He probably spends a lot of time observing until he feels comfortable saying something, or figures out what he wants to say.

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Question

How do you date a girl?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

Dating is just spending time with someone and getting to know them. Try not making too big a thing about it! You talk about your likes and dislikes, or your hopes and dreams, or just your favorite subjects or TV shows. It is just getting to know someone. Don't scare yourself out of it!

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My friend needs help. He is asking out a shy girl and doesn't know what to say when talking to her. Any ideas that you good folks could come up with? I great appreciate it.

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

Re-read the Wikiknowhow article, "Ask a shy Girl Out;" There are a lot of good ideas there for your friend. It is important to go at the girl's pace--ask only a few questions at a time, and wait for her answers. Talk or text regularly in the beginning to set up a pattern of interest. When asking her out, be sure to ask clearly, and select something that is not too noisy, and that is private for the first date. Better yet, ask her how she might like to spend the time! Good luck!

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