Q&A for How to Avoid Your Parents Without Hurting Their Feelings

There will always be a risk of hurting other people's feelings when setting boundaries. Remember that you cannot control how your parents will interpret what you say, but you can control what you say and the tone used is very important. Own your part and stand up for your values in a respectful way..

Try to work on calming yourself. When you feel yourself getting angry, take some deep, calming breaths to make yourself relax. If you need to, take a few minutes to go calm down while you do something you enjoy, like listen to music.

Studying is important so you can get into a good college and job. Try to understand that they are looking out for your best interests. Maybe try talking to them about how you feel and see if you can negotiate something, like if you get all A’s, you can join an activity. If that doesn’t work then try to see if you can join an academic club. Your last bet if that doesn’t work is to see if you can go study somewhere else besides home and get away for a few hours with “studying” (still make sure you study some if you do that option).

Try to find out why your parents forbid you to be independent. If you are a single parent, there is a possibility that they want you to be safe and helping you. But if you’re with a partner, try to sit down with your parents and say needed a space. If these doesn’t work out, probably as a win-win solution, find an apartment that is not too far from your parents. With this, you can have your personal space, and they know you’re not far. While showing that you’re capable enough to live separately and gain their trust. Try to de-attach from your parents bit by bit. Maybe your parents need some mourning time and process to let you go.

Set boundaries to get them to let go, but do it respectfully. If that fails then try to have as much space from them as you can, and if your parents’ clinginess starts to become bothersome, calmly talk to them about it.

Keep to yourself. Try being a little bit more quieter and calmer than usual. They will either think something is wrong and want to make it up to you or think that you are just being weird. Don't worry about what they think. Just do what you have to do to keep to yourself. If you want to stay in your room and read a book, do that. If you want to go over to a friend's house or find a responsibility, do that. At least they won't feel you are doing it on purpose even though you are.

Try saying: "Mom, Dad, can I talk to you for a minute? I promise it won’t take too long.” Remember, if they seem to never listen to you, then maybe they are just busy with something. So, you should ask them when they are not so busy.