Q&A for How to Be Comfortable Around Your Boyfriend

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  • Question
    What do I do if my boyfriend is uncomfortable?
    Laura Bilotta
    Dating Coach & Matchmaker
    Laura Bilotta is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Founder of Single in the City, her dating and relationship coaching service based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of experience, she focuses on helping singles date more intentionally, encouraging them to let go of negative patterns so that they can attract the love that they deserve. Her experience, skills, and insights have led to thousands of successfully united over 65,000 singles through events and one-on-one matchmaking coaching sessions. She has been the host of The Dating and Relationship Show on Global News Radio 640 Toronto (AM640) for 6 years and is known as The Hookup Queen of Clubhouse; her popular singles club, Single in the City, has over 95.5K members who regularly join in weekly dating and relationship-focused rooms.
    Dating Coach & Matchmaker
    Expert Answer
    I would recommend having a conversation about it when he's in a good mood and not distracted. Ask him if there's anything that's bothering him. Then, be open to listening to what he has to say so you can figure things out together.
  • Question
    When my boyfriend and I were friends I didn't feel awkward. Now that we're dating I feel awkward and I'm not talking as much and I feel like I'm boring him. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    Do something fun. It's not awkward, you both just need to adjust to your new roles and boyfriend/girlfriend instead of just friends. Just think of it as that you guys are still friends, but now you each know your true feelings. Bring up a fun topic or just go for a dance.
  • Question
    Why do I get nervous around my boyfriend? Can I fix it?
    Community Answer
    You're nervous because you care about your boyfriend and are worried about making a good impression. Just relax and be yourself; your boyfriend is with you because he likes who you are. Just focus on being that person.
  • Question
    What if I'm shy because he's too tall?
    Community Answer
    He probably finds your shyness adorable, if he's anything like the average male. If his tallness intimidates you, he can't really do anything about that. Just be confident and believe that in his tall body is a heart to match.
  • Question
    What if I'm shy around my bf still?
    Carlee Michel
    Community Answer
    Be yourself and talk to him about how you feel.
  • Question
    How should I love my boyfriend? I can't love him the way he loves me.
    Community Answer
    Don't worry about it too much. You should love him in whatever way comes naturally to you. Don't make comparisons between your love and anyone else's and don't try too hard. If you're worried you don't love him at all, take a hard look at your feelings and figure out if you really want to be in this relationship.
  • Question
    What if my boyfriend wants me to talk dirty, but I'm uncomfortable with it?
    Community Answer
    If you are too shy or uncomfortable, let him know. It is best to keep an open and honest relationship. It's also important that you don't force yourself to do anything you don't want to do. If you want to learn how to talk dirty, ask your boyfriend to give you some examples of what he would like to hear. This might make you less nervous or uncomfortable.
  • Question
    My boyfriend won't loosen up around me, what do I do?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Give it time. Take small steps. Give him some encouragement. You can hold a hug a little longer than usual, brush your hand over his arm or leg. Make sure he knows how you feel. Tell him it's OK if he's not yet super relaxed, it's normal to be nervous around your love, after all.
  • Question
    When is the best time to kiss him for the first time?
    Community Answer
    Be alone with him - not around his friends. Sometimes, boys get nervous/embarrassed around their friends.
  • Question
    How do you know if my boyfriend really likes me?
    Carlee Michel
    Community Answer
    He gets nervous when he tries to talk to you. He does things for you like give you gifts, letters, or hold your books.
  • Question
    What if he asks if I have a crush on him?
    Community Answer
    You always want to tell him the truth, so if you do have a crush on him , then tell him.
  • Question
    My crush worries about me so much. He even dreamed a 'bad accident' happened to me because I will study in another city soon. What does his dream mean?
    Community Answer
    His dream may not mean anything more than what you already know, which is that he cares for you and doesn't want you to leave. Check out Wikihow's article on how to interpret your dreams if you or he want to delve deeper.
  • Question
    How do I tell my boyfriend that I'm shy and prefer for us to meet in private and not with his friends?
    Community Answer
    Tell him that you are shy around new people and want to spend one-on-one time with him.
  • Question
    How do I talk to him when we are alone?
    Community Answer
    Find out what he likes. Talk about his favorite sport or type of music and speak about that so that you peak his interest.
  • Question
    How can I show my boyfriend that I am serious with the relationship?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    The best way is to prove it after the fact: "You see, we've been together for forty years. Now do you believe I'm serious?" There are other things you can do, though. Go on a weekend trip together, talk about the future and how you see him in it. Move in together. Get married. Have a baby. Of course, these things depend on how old you are, what stage the relationship is in, and what you want for yourself. But really, love shouldn't be proven, he ought to simply be assured because you're there.
  • Question
    All I say to my boyfriend is "Hi," and I want to say more than that. We can't go on dates because of our parents. So how do I talk to him without it getting awkward like it usually is?
    Community Answer
    Your best bet is to start a conversation. A conversation is a give and take interaction. Start off with a friendly "hello" and wait for a response. Once you've received a response, ask a question. Keep in mind, you may be the one keeping the conversation alive for a while. If you're not able to date physically, you could stream a movie on Netflix at the same time.
  • Question
    My boyfriend is just awkward. We have been dating for almost half a year, but no first kiss. He has not tried to make a move yet, and I just feel uncomfortable around him. Any advice?
    Community Answer
    Why are you even together? You probably shouldn't be with someone you feel so uncomfortable with after such a long time. You could try making a move yourself, or you could just try talking to him about this. If nothing improves and you're still dissatisfied, you can just break it off.
  • Question
    Why do I get uncomfortable when I feel like my boyfriend and I are acting too adult?
    Community Answer
    Maybe acting like adults together makes you feel like you are married. If you are still young and have not been in a relationship for very long, it could be that you are just afraid of that kind of commitment. You don't have to act like adults yet -- just have fun with each other and enjoy yourselves.
  • Question
    I feel physically sick when I think about my significant other. I have figured out that it is due to the sexual side of the relationship. What can I do to fix this? I still really like him.
    Community Answer
    You need to talk to him about it and discuss your feelings. Do not try to keep it inside, it may make you feel guilty eventually when it is not even your fault. Having open communication will help you to feel more comfortable and work through what is bothering you.
  • Question
    What if he has anxiety and is shy and doesn't like being with a lot of people? What do we do?
    Community Answer
    Slowly get him used to being around people; don't force him into uncomfortable situations. Start off with it just being you two, and very slowly add one person to the group at a time (depending on how shy he is and how bad his anxiety is). As long as he's warming up to people and getting used to the feeling, he should be okay after a while. But it can take a bit of time.
  • Question
    What do I do if my boyfriend likes me, but before we started dating he told me he liked my best friend and they hang out a lot? I get jealous.
    Community Answer
    Tell him how you feel, or confide in your best friend. If she's really your best friend, she'll understand and do what's best for you and your relationship.
  • Question
    Is it normal to still feel awkward around your boyfriend after 3 years of being together? How do you fix it?
    Community Answer
    If you are awkward after 3 years together, you may want to ask yourself if you really want to be in that relationship.
  • Question
    What do I do when my boyfriend won't answer my text messages, but I want to talk to him about how I feel?
    Ellss1
    Community Answer
    Try and give him an actual call. If that does not work, when you see him face to face, force the conversation. Communication is key in all relationships, and if you do not have it, it cannot work out.
  • Question
    When there's nothing to say, what should you say to him?
    Community Answer
    Just tell him you love him and appreciate everything he does for you.
  • Question
    My boyfriend is shorter than me so I feel uncomfortable with that. I also don't know how to talk to him about the fact that he talks to my friends more than me. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Don't worry about him being shorter than you. Just avoid wearing heels. Be honest with him about talking to your friends and how it makes you feel.
  • Question
    How do you know if he is not right for you?
    Community Answer
    If you don't have much to talk about, if you don't enjoy each other's company very much, if he makes you feel bad or uncomfortable on a regular basis, if you fight or get upset with each other a lot, if either of you develops feelings for someone else while in the relationship.
  • Question
    My boyfriend is an upperclassman in high school and I'm a freshman. Is this okay?
    Community Answer
    As long as you are comfortable and he isn't pushing you to do anything you don't want to, it's fine.
  • Question
    I used to be attracted to my boyfriend being sexually dominant, but now I'm uncomfortable. Why is this? What should I do?
    Kay Unicorn
    Community Answer
    If you no longer feel comfortable in that situation, you need to tell him. It could be that your comfort levels have changed for that particular situation. It would be a good idea to talk about it, maybe try something different. Find your comfort zone again!
  • Question
    I had a crush on my boyfriend earlier this year. Now we are dating, and I don't think I like him as much. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    Just be honest with him and see if you can go back to being friends.
  • Question
    If my boyfriend is really shy, how do I help him open up to me?
    Community Answer
    Appreciate him for who he is and look for body language rather than listening for words. Some people will always be reserved and shy. They tend to be quite caring people with a lot of feelings, they just don't feel the need to share it. Don't take it as a sign they don't care or don't feel. They do, but you can't force it out of them.
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