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Are being aggressive and being assertive the same thing?

Guy Reichard
Executive Life Coach
Guy Reichard is a Self Leadership Coach and Executive Resilience Builder who empowers high-achieving professionals, executives, and business owners to lead authentically with calm, clarity, confidence, and compassion. He is the founder of HeartRich Self Leadership & Resilience Coaching, where he helps his clients navigate challenges, overcome fears and self-doubt, and grow into purposeful, values-driven leaders. With a heart-centered, science-backed, and trauma-informed approach, Guy guides his clients to connect with their Authentic Self, align with their core values, and create meaningful change in their lives and leadership. His work focuses on enhancing resilience, emotional intelligence, presence, and well-being while addressing barriers like perfectionism, impostor syndrome, people-pleasing, and tough inner critics. With over 15 years and 4000+ of coaching experience and 20 years in consulting and business development, Guy brings a unique blend of empathy, insight, and strategic perspective to help his clients thrive. He received his professional coaching certification from the International Coaching Federation and is an EZRAx Executive Leadership Coach. He received an MBA and a BA in Psychology from York University.

Guy Reichard

Executive Life Coach

Expert Answer

People often confuse assertiveness with aggression and they are very different. Assertiveness is being clear, direct, and fair about standing up or speaking up for one’s needs in a non-confrontational, respectful way. Aggression stems from fear and anger of not getting one’s needs met. They feel threatened in some way and act more forcefully, even attacking others, to protect what they feel is threatened or to get what they want.

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Question

What should I do if people feel like I'm being too aggressive when I stand up for myself?

Guy Reichard
Executive Life Coach
Guy Reichard is a Self Leadership Coach and Executive Resilience Builder who empowers high-achieving professionals, executives, and business owners to lead authentically with calm, clarity, confidence, and compassion. He is the founder of HeartRich Self Leadership & Resilience Coaching, where he helps his clients navigate challenges, overcome fears and self-doubt, and grow into purposeful, values-driven leaders. With a heart-centered, science-backed, and trauma-informed approach, Guy guides his clients to connect with their Authentic Self, align with their core values, and create meaningful change in their lives and leadership. His work focuses on enhancing resilience, emotional intelligence, presence, and well-being while addressing barriers like perfectionism, impostor syndrome, people-pleasing, and tough inner critics. With over 15 years and 4000+ of coaching experience and 20 years in consulting and business development, Guy brings a unique blend of empathy, insight, and strategic perspective to help his clients thrive. He received his professional coaching certification from the International Coaching Federation and is an EZRAx Executive Leadership Coach. He received an MBA and a BA in Psychology from York University.

Guy Reichard

Executive Life Coach

Expert Answer

It is possible to be purely assertive and non-violent and still be perceived as aggressive by another who may feel threatened in some way. In that case, you decide what’s more important – you trying to get your needs met fairly or others liking you. If you choose to stand up for yourself, you can minimize the potential for being perceived as aggressive if you preface your request/assertion with consideration and empathy for the person you’re speaking to.

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Question

Can I be more aggressive by swearing?

Community Answer

No, swearing just makes you look immature. I recommend using your words carefully and controlling your emotions. Use the tips in the article.

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How can I be more intimidating as a woman?

Community Answer

You might want raise your voice a little more, but don't shout and try not to show much emotion.

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Question

Is there any medication to make me more aggressive in sport?

Community Answer

There are drugs that enhance your athletic abilities, but I wouldn’t recommend them. Being aggressive in sport comes from your thoughts and emotions, and especially the way you choose to control them.

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Question

My boyfriend wants me to be more aggressive. I don't know how to do something I have never done before. How can I be more aggressive with him?

Community Answer

Just be yourself, you don't have to be who your boyfriend wants you to be. If you're not comfortable with it, don't do it. If your boyfriend can't accept that, forget him.

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Question

I need to be more aggressive in sports. How would I do that?

Community Answer

To be more aggressive in sports I recommend that you think about something that makes you very angry.

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Question

How can I be friendly and happy, but also aggressive?

Dewa Dewappriya

Community Answer

Learn control your emotions for different types of people. When you're with family members and friends, be happy and friendly. When you meet up with mean girls or bullies, show that you're an aggressive character (so as not to fight with bullies).

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