Q&A for How to Be Stoic

In personal relationships, being stoic can help you rationalize and have the ability to not be attached to things outside of your control. Assume control over your emotions and listen to the other person.

No reason to keep stoicism a secret. Be honest and forthright. Stoicism isn't meant to make you appear grumpy or sad, or emotionally dead inside. It's meant to give you inner strength, self reliance, and independence from the need to be emotionally validated by others, because you're now able to emotionally validate yourself. It's possible people are noticing a change in your behavior, and are just checking in. If that's the case, be appreciative of their concern, let them know that you're alright, and further let them know that you have inner strength to spare if they happen to need support.

Please get help. If you or anyone you know are having unpleasant or suicidal thoughts, please seek help from parents/guardians, counselors/mental health professionals, or others. Nothing good comes from keeping bad feelings in.

No. You need entertainment at times, as focusing on real and intellectual things can bore your mind. If you want you can still watch anything you want and keep it to yourself. Stoicism is a way to act around people -- not a way to act around what you enjoy.

Yes. Consider the deeper philosophy of both. They are not opposite. Don't get into useless arguments, stay calm and kind, don't worry about world events you can't control (they are in God's hands is what you can say if you are Christian). Don't let your thoughts run riot, look up rather than being dismayed at the things all around you, and seek the fruits of the Spirit, which includes peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, humility and self control.

Keep breathing, don't hold your breath, as that could cause you to burst into tears. Leave the room if you can. Try to think positive thoughts or distract yourself.

It could be a good approach. The person teasing you may get bored and move on if you're not reacting at all.

It's okay to feel anxious sometimes; we all do! A good way to overcome it, even though it might be a bit cliche, is to just sit down, take a few deep breaths, and focus on how to solve the problem logically and rationally. Soon all this will come naturally, as I have found that being stoic reduces the amount of stress I feel.

Having a stoic appearance will naturally take time. These things don't happen overnight, it's a slow process even if you're trying your hardest, so don't worry about whether or not people will notice. And if someone does happen to wonder why you may be different, inform them on the philosophy. There's no reason to hide it.

The Bible does not mention anything about keeping our emotions inside, hiding them, or denying them. We have emotions for a reason, and we are to express them in an appropriate, Biblical way. Look in the Gospels for how Jesus expressed his emotions. As followers of Jesus Christ, we are to follow His example.

List your personal strengths and weaknesses. Be honest with yourself. Keep it somewhere where you can reflect on it daily. Be grateful for your strengths, and set goals to overcome weaknesses. Seek help from those you trust.

Yes and no. You choose how to act. Do not act for the sake of how you will be perceived. You will not grow or become better by just pretending. Before spending the energy towards manifesting an action ask yourself: What is the purpose for that action, what do I want to achieve by doing it? Based on the initial motivation behind your act, you can asses it afterwards and learn what you did wrong or good towards that goal.

Be more respectful of others and think calmly about why and how the detention came about. Try not to judge yourself or others, but reflect on how you can change your thinking or your actions to avoid detention and other unnecessary trouble in the future.

A true stoic will not react to being hit -- other than to consider removing the hitter from his/her life.

Yes, humility is definitely part of stoicism. While a stoic strives to improve themselves (Aurielius's Meditations was an exercise in self-improvement - he never meant for it to be published), they can also accept and learn to work with flaws that cannot be changed.

It's okay to laugh! Stoicism is not about pushing away your emotions. But accept that the funny moment will not last forever - don't try to prolong the joke by repeating the punchline until it loses all effect.

Try to reflect on the things that followed. Maybe you've become stronger after what happened. Maybe you've gained a skill. Those people are not important anymore but the lessons they taught you are. Forgive them and forget about those people.

Even without knowing yourself completely, what you have to know is that you will always defend yourself. Whoever you are, fight for yourself. Speak your mind and don't seek for others to approve your views. To know how you should act, analyse your feelings to understand what is just and unjust. Read about great people and their biography to know how they reacted when faced with adversity.

Stoics don't express pain and mostly stay indifferent to feelings. Sharing about experiences is a totally different side to a stoic's personality and they can choose to talk and share.

Being stoic requires you to react less, talk less, express less in every way. If you feel like tearing up or crying, do something that will take your mind off crying, like singing, pinching your thumb, counting numbers, etc. You will get a hang of it.