Q&A for How to Be a Femme Fatale

As women, we're trained to please others, so we are trained to care a lot about what other people think of us. The more we can learn to be happy with ourselves and stop worrying about what other people think of our choices and of us, the more strength and independence we cultivate. You've got to let people be unhappy. You can't keep everybody happy. It's being able to know where you end and the other person begins. That's where you begin to cultivate and strengthen independence. You can't change other people and you don't have to change for other people. Learning to be more compassionate and empathetic is a good thing. It is not a weakness. But learning to do so and maintain your separateness and know that it's okay if everybody doesn't love you, that's where you start to cultivate strength and independence.

You have to realize that the only person's thoughts you have control over are your own. If you catch yourself worrying, it's important to remember that it is an abuse of the imagination. When we worry, we are obsessing in a negative way about something that doesn't exist or hasn't happened. In order to stop worrying about what other people are thinking, notice when you're doing it, and then pause and make a choice. Choose where else you want to put your attention. This is a lifelong process. Realizing that you spend a lot of time worrying about what other people think of you is a positive thing because that's the first step.

Of course! Anyone of any ethnicity can be a femme fatale. It's a very inclusive feminine archetype that leaves room for anyone who would like to channel their most glamorous and mysterious selves. If you're in the mood to dress up and dial up the charm, you're ready to embody a femme fatale.

Absolutely! If you shared a lot of details in the past, then gain the upper hand by holding back in your next interactions. People can just chalk up your previous conversations as part of your enticing unpredictability. They may wonder—will they get some juicy details today or will you hold out on them? Have fun playing up the femme fatale and leaving people wondering!

From the bottom of our hearts, no! There's absolutely no reason to give up, friend. The beauty of the "femme fatale" is that she's a woman of her own making, and she doesn't actually have to follow any standards, especially if those conventions don't feel inspiring or helpful. Find a color palette that complements your complexion and a makeup style that highlights your features. There's a makeup style that suits everyone, and you definitely have one for your lovely face—if it would give you a boost of confidence or support, go to the makeup counter at any big box makeup store and ask for pointers. Wear clothes you feel great in and talk about topics you love and have expertise in. Most importantly, show off that brilliant intelligence. You'll definitely win over admirers, especially those that find wits and knowledge incredibly appealing. Best of luck finding your unique femme fatale persona who has so much to say—we at wikiHow believe in you!

Curly hair will work just fine! Most of the allure of femme fatales comes from their charisma and confidence. Any woman can be a femme fatale when she puts her mind to it! Rock your curly hair!

Don't change your hair solely to get attention from guys. If YOU really dislike your curly hair, then maybe consider straightening it, but don't do it for someone else. There are plenty of guys out there that like curly hair.

I would say that it's more a matter of experience than age. Don't try this if you are at your first experiences with men. A true femme fatale has to be confident in public, on dates, but also during intimacy. I would therefore recommend waiting until you really ARE confident, and don't just fake it for the style. You will feel more fulfilled and happy that way, and so will your partner. This might not happen before the mid-twenties.

If you are that young, it may be better to not follow the "seductive" part of the femme fatale lifestyle. However, you should definitely be confident, a lady, and independent. Just make sure to keep in mind that it's nearly impossible to be sexy without being trashy before adulthood.

Of course. What makes a femme fatale is less of what she wears and more of how she carries herself, and how much charisma and confidence she has.

Of course! Anyone can do this, as long as you follow the steps. Don't reveal too much about your life too fast, though. Be mysterious and sexy.

Yes! You can sport the femme fatale look to captivate him, as well as using beauty and brains to help win him over!

Different sort of things attract people based on their personality and choices.

Like it says in the tips, be real. You don't have to have a low voice, but try to avoid shouting or laughing loudly.

Lots of guys like femme falates. To some, it exudes elegance and sexuality.

Yes. Don't try going this route before high school or even college. You'll look trashy.

Yes, you can! Being a femme fatale means owning it, regardless of what other people think of you. Ignore that guy.

Absolutely! Femme fatales are attractive and exciting to both men and the women. Being a confident, seductive, intelligent, mysterious woman doesn't require heteronormativity.

Sure! Having a signature drink adds a bit of mystery, especially with special instructions.

19 is a great age to try this look, as it suits a lot of girls your age. If you want to appear elegant for your boyfriend, you could wear a pair of black sheer stockings with a set of garters with it to add a sexy look. Sheer stockings are best, as they make your figure look better and touch on a 50s/60s look. If you find you like them you could try fishnets, but aim for sheer black first. You could also have a haircut or trim to get the basic look.

You can fully embrace the personality of a femme fatale without having to compromise your gender expression. Sexy, mysterious, and fascinating? Totally achievable without the hyperfeminized dresses, especially if you would feel uncomfortable in such attire. Femme fatales are confident, so dress and act in a way that makes you feel good about yourself.

From watching movies with femme fatale characters, shorter and dark colors or french manicure is best. But be unique! After all, it doesn't really add to the mystery of being a femme fatale if you do exactly what everybody else has done.

An interesting, unique, creative, and/or dangerous career - from photographer to actress to stuntperson. Hypersexualized femme fatales often are in some kind of flirtatious, but not boring, line of work.

Yes, you can.

Maybe try styling your hair in a vintage style. If it's long enough to curl, try a pin-up style, with a fringe over one eye, then just use makeup and your persona to complete the look.

Yes, she is.

You may not be able to get the look as easily with it being straight. As a recommendation, it would be best to have your hair cut shorter and have it layered to create the thick quirky look so you’ll be able to curl it. Also, it you fancied it, a classy and popular style for this look is to have your hair cut very short, tapered on one side and the back, and keep the top, fringe and opposite side longer ending at your jawline in a sweeping motion. Your current color is fine.

If your hair color is bold but natural and you keep the red lipstick, it will work just fine. Try a darker eyebrow and smoky eye as far as makeup goes. Doing research on fashion types that work well with pixies and aren't too showy, but decently sexy, will go a long way to making the look come together. After that, it's all personality.

No, I don't think it would seem trashy if you made a slower transition. You could start by styling your hair into a more 1960s look while wearing black tights for class and elegance. Over time, you can start building your style more and more.

Straight hair is actually very sexy and even more mysterious than curly hair. Straight hair moves more naturally and seductively with small movements.