Q&A for How to Be a Gentleman

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  • Question
    At what age should the gentlemanly behavior begin?
    Community Answer
    As soon as one can walk and talk, as a gentleman can easily be crafted from the beginning. Or, a gentleman can be made from the moment one makes a decision to follow this path.
  • Question
    Do I need to have a good shape to be a gentleman? Not many gentle people have 6 packs. Or do they?
    Community Answer
    Being a gentleman is not about the shape, it's about the personality and sometimes the way you dress and definitely about how you carry yourself. To be a gentleman, be kind, loving, thoughtful and strong. It is all about the perfect manners. But there's no harm in having a six pack and being a gentleman if that's what you prefer.
  • Question
    How does a gentleman flirt with a girl he likes?
    Community Answer
    Be gracious. Open doors, offer seats and, if she looks cold, offer her your jacket/coat. This will let her know you care and, if followed up with a conversation starter or smile, can let them know you are interested.
  • Question
    If a close friend is in a fight and needs help, should a gentleman get involved?
    Community Answer
    A true gentleman should stand with his friends on any confrontation. He should try to calm his friend and/or the other side, but when it is no longer possible, involvement may be necessary. Of course, no gentleman is without critical thinking skills, and will therefore judge each situation on its context rather than assuming that there is one rule to apply at all times.
  • Question
    How can I be a gentleman in high school?
    Community Answer
    Have good hygiene and be polite. Open doors for female teachers and administrators and fellow students. Speak respectfully to your teachers. Some high school boys act rude to look 'cool' -- avoid this as much as possible.
  • Question
    Does having money have anything to do with being a gentleman?
    Community Answer
    Absolutely not. It's more appealing to everyone if you are kind and thoughtful. Money only matters to people who are not worth your time. However, this is not an excuse to be a layabout or to spend all your money and never save. A gentleman earns his own keep and squirrels away money for a rainy day.
  • Question
    Do I need to have clothes that fit me?
    Community Answer
    Do take time to find appropriate clothes that fit you, because it shows that you care about your appearance.
  • Question
    How do I introduce people?
    Community Answer
    Always introduce the younger person to the elder. Say something along the lines of "Sir, this is Bobby. He is my little brother," rather than "Bobby, this is Mr. Smith."
  • Question
    How do I be a gentleman when arguing?
    Community Answer
    Respect the other person and his ideas. Really listen when he is talking. Don't allow things on your end to devolve into name-calling or aggression, even if the other person goes there.
  • Question
    Does a gentleman have to act subservient to a woman?
    Community Answer
    Of course not. To be a gentleman is simply to be courteous. Be gracious and understanding, like you would want to be treated in return. Subservience is not needed from either person.
  • Question
    What should I do when a girl tells me to leave her alone or go away?
    Community Answer
    You should respect her and give her some space. She may want to talk later, but if she asks you for some time alone, you should give it to her.
  • Question
    Do I need money to impress people?
    Community Answer
    You just need to show that you are a person who accomplishes things. No matter who you are, or how much money you have, you can be an impressive person by your actions.
  • Question
    How should I respond if I'm talking to someone and we are interrupted?
    Community Answer
    You could briefly comment on what the interrupting person just said, if you feel the need to. If not, kindly say, "Though what you said was interesting, I should finish this conversation first. We can talk later, if you want." (Or something along those lines.)
  • Question
    Should I become a gentleman gradually or immediately? I am not a gentleman yet, so it might shock people if I suddenly behave like one.
    Community Answer
    Being a gentleman is a choice, and even if it means having people be "shocked", it will show that you are a mature person and really have changed. But if you are uncomfortable with this, then do it in stages, perhaps doing 65% of the things stated here the first week, then 75, 85, up to 100% each week.
  • Question
    I try to act like a gentleman as much as possible, however I don't have money to afford buying well fitting, comfortable clothes. What can I do?
    Cowboy 4 Jesus
    Community Answer
    I wear jeans and a button up shirt that I keep tucked in, and as long as you keep your shoes clean, you'll be fine.
  • Question
    I am shy about helping people. How can I fix that?
    Cowboy 4 Jesus
    Community Answer
    Being shy isn't a bad thing, in fact it's quite the opposite. But after you help out a few people, it won't be as hard.
  • Question
    Do I need to stay flexible to be a gentleman?
    Community Answer
    You don't need to be flexible to be a gentleman. It's about your kindness and personality.
  • Question
    How can I be a gentleman at a wedding?
    Community Answer
    Dress well and remember that it is all about the couple getting married. If you are asked to help in any way, do so. Be courteous and polite to everyone and make sure to limit your alcohol consumption.
  • Question
    Is being strong a good way to show that I am a gentleman?
    Community Answer
    Being strong does not have anything to do with being a gentleman. However, being prepared to lift something heavy in order to help someone is a good way to show that you're a gentleman.
  • Question
    How is a gentleman supposed to argue out his point in case of a contradicting argument with his fellows?
    Cowboy 4 Jesus
    Community Answer
    Don't get angry, maintain your cool, and don't say anything negative about the person you're arguing against.
  • Question
    What objects should a gentleman have on hand at all times?
    Community Answer
    A gentleman should always have a watch on his wrist, as punctuality plays a big role in being a gentleman. He should always have his wallet with his Identification card/book should a situation arise where an official requires his identity. A gentleman these days should always ensure his phone is charged and working, not so that he can excessively use the phone but for a matter of assurance that should someone need to call him, or he needs to make a call, he has the means to do so. Truth is you only need the things that are necessities -- the rest is entirely dependent on the person.
  • Question
    How do I make a girl like me?
    Community Answer
    You can't force anyone to like you. If she has expressed that she's not interested, you should respect that. That would be the gentlemanly thing to do! If you haven't made your feelings clear, it might be time to have that conversation.
  • Question
    How can I be a gentleman if I am a child?
    Community Answer
    Be polite to your teachers at school, be respectful of everyone you encounter (girls and women especially), and wear nice clothes (no tracksuits or sweatpants!).
  • Question
    Is it attractive to use a large vocabulary?
    Community Answer
    It depends on who you're talking to and which words you use. It's attractive to be well-spoken, but you shouldn't be obnoxious about it and use words that people don't normally use or know. If you do, you risk coming off as arrogant or annoying.
  • Question
    Can I become a gentleman by not talking much in the community?
    Community Answer
    That depends. Some people will have a hard time seeing you as a gentleman if you never participate in conversation or attempt to socialize with anyone (especially since, in many places, that alone is considered very rude). However, talking TOO much can be equally problematic and hinder your ability to develop a reputation as a gentleman. I would try to find a happy middle ground.
  • Question
    How would a gentleman respond if his partner was being threatened?
    Community Answer
    Your primary goal should be to move your partner to safety, ideally without physically engaging the person who's threatening her. Make it clear that their behavior is unacceptable and then guide your partner to a safer, quieter place. If the individual continues to threaten your partner, you may have to physically defend her, but this should be a last resort.
  • Question
    What questions does a gentleman ask?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    A gentleman asks the questions that naturally come up when listening to a conversation partner. If the person said three days ago that a kid brother was sick, a gentleman will today inquire about the health of the sibling. More in general, a gentleman will never ask for more than can be comfortably answered, and he will know exactly the level his conversation partner is at, and what the person is willing to give.
  • Question
    Can I be a gentleman if I have bad friends?
    Community Answer
    You can be a gentleman, but you do have to be mindful of your behaviors and avoid picking any habits up from your friends.
  • Question
    Can I be a good gentleman in the sixth grade?
    Community Answer
    Sure! Being a gentleman is about how you treat people, and you can treat people well at any age.
  • Question
    May a gentleman be a true gentleman even if he's gay?
    Community Answer
    Yes, of course. Just because you are attracted to other men, doesn't mean that you cannot embody the characteristics of a gentleman. Just dress well, be polite and loving to your significant other.
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