Q&A for How to Be a Successful Muslim Wife

Congratulations on becoming a Muslim. If you've truly become a Muslim for the sake of Allah then others' opinion of you shouldn't matter. All you need to do is be patient with such people. You'll never know when your patience is being tested. If the situation is affecting you severely, yes, you may have to move.

Remain calm at that moment, and try to see why your husband is shouting or yelling. Bring this subject up at a later time when you both are calm, and discuss the issue. Perhaps your husband does not realize how much he is hurting you when he shouts or yells at you.

It is absolutely wrong for anyone to talk down to their wife or husband. He should always treat you as an equal to him, and just because he is a male doesn't mean he can talk to you rudely.

You should follow your heart. First of all, if he is very important for you, you might want to search information about Islam to see if you like this religion. Don't turn to Islam just because he wants you to though. Do it when you feel this is the right decision, the right religion. If it isn't the right decision for you, tell him. It is better to know this upfront than to live a life that doesn't work for either of you.

Follow the commandments of Allah (pray five times a day, fast etc.), respect your parents, and learn more about Islam.

Simply put, the man goes to the (to-be) wife's regional Masjid with his family. The woman is also present with her relatives in a separate room away from the public. The woman's advocate presents himself, and the man presents himself to the marriage registrar, as well as the large crowd in the Masjid. The standard marriage oaths are taken in the presence of witnesses. After both parties accept, the marriage bond is sealed. Now, the man takes the woman back to his home and both families go back as well. The man must (within reason) arrange for a Walima.

Yes, but avoid doing so in public places.

Ask her to think how her she would feel if he treated her this way and record their arguments so that it would be easier to explain to her. By having actual examples from situations you've observed, it will be easier for her to understand what you mean and to realize her mistake. However, you can only do so much, as a intimate relationship has a rhythm all its own developed over many years and you will need to hope that she is willing to change her approach.

He shouldn't be, even though he is a Muslim. As you said, he is abusive towards his wife. In Islam, violence is not acceptable anywhere. Secondly, as you said, if he has disappeared from his children's lives for years, then it is not okay as he didn't perform his duties as a parent. You/his wife can forgive him, get him arrested for abusing you, or choose to ignore him and move on. No one, and I mean no one, deserves a partner who does not respect them and hurts them either physically, mentally, or both.

You should not try to force religion upon anyone, especially your wife. However, you can share with her the beauty of Islam as you see it and try to encourage her to find her own beauty in it. If she doesn't seem receptive though, you should back off.

Yes. You have to accept the fact that his past is his past, and you are his present.

Talk to him about your concerns and ways you can work together to change them. If that doesn't work, seek counseling.

If he physically abuses you, he is not following jihad. Jihad quotes you should never hit a woman. Go to the police and tell them. If your country allows that, explain to him he is not following jihad, and show him the Qur'an verse that talks about jihad.

Leave your home for a safer space and contact the police immediately.

There is nothing wrong with this - the Prophet, peace be upon him, was 25 when he married his first wife Khadijah, who was 40. Age does not matter in any Islamic marriage or relationship.

Of course not. In Islam, you must speak to non-Muslims or those who have a misconception about Islam with respect and kindness, without forcing your views upon them or behaving condescendingly. Islam teaches us to "deal justly and kindly" with those who do not harm you because of your religion (60:8).

Yes, you are still family.

Seek counseling either together or separately.

Tell your spouse how you feel. Share the article with them if you want. Ask for more positivity in your relationship.

No, because you are wasting His abundance on someone who acts against His will. Get a divorce if he does not treat you well.

Both are acts of communication with God. They are quiet because they are contemplating their faith.

You will have to get divorced, as a Muslim woman is only allowed to have one husband.

Yes, it is!

If you give him permission to marry another woman, he can. Otherwise, he cannot.

Explain to him that the things you are disagreeing about are in accordance to Islamic teachings. Try to have an open talk and make your prayers regularly. Do not turn off to your household chores and responsibilities toward him. If he tries being ungrateful in a rude manner, try confronting him, and you can include your parents to discuss if things go in zulm manner to you. For any zulm happening to you, don't let it just happen. It's damaging to you and your child and as per Islamic teachings.

Try to encourage your husband to complete his obligatory acts of worship, especially prayer (salah). Remind him that it incumbent on every Muslim to pray 5 times each day, and mention that it is the first thing he will be asked about on the Day of Judgement. Also, encourage him to place the Quran at the center of his life by reading, memorizing, reciting, reflecting upon its meaning and implementing it in his daily life.

If you are new and you are staying with his mom and sister, be there. If you feel problems from his mother and sister, but he is good with you, be patient. He will return home soon.

Yes. Muslim men just cannot marry polytheist women.

Let him know that what he is doing is one of the major sins in Islam because he is disrespecting your parents.

A man is allowed to have up to four wives. However, if he cannot deal justly with them, he must only stick to one wife.