Q&A for How to Deal With Stubborn People

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  • Question
    How do I deal with a stubborn girlfriend who always refuses to meet me in person?
    Community Answer
    If she refuses to meet you then she is not your girlfriend. You should leave her alone and find someone who wants to be with you.
  • Question
    A woman I like a lot got upset because I didn't lend her money. I loaned her money before. Now she won't talk to me. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    Calmly tell her you don't have enough money to loan to anyone right now - and tell her you have been stressed out about it, which is why you didn't offer it in the first place. You also could say that you don't feel comfortable loaning money to anyone at all; she should respect you as a friend.
  • Question
    I have a stubborn girlfriend who is a good person, but she keeps wanting to break up! What can I do?
    Community Answer
    If she is a good person, she might have a good reason to want to break up. If you can't convince her to stay with you then you might want to see other people. She might be going through something that you just can't help her with. Try talking to her about it.
  • Question
    My grandmother's legs got infected by a cat scratch and she won't see a doctor about it. How do I convince her to go?
    Community Answer
    Call a doctor and and convince him/her to see your grandmother at home.
  • Question
    My girlfriend never admits she is wrong and always find a way to reverse a case back on me. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Talk to her about the issue. If she still doesn't see it, you may want to re-evaluate your relationship.
  • Question
    How do I deal with a stubborn person who is older and uses this fact against me?
    Community Answer
    If he or she is a coworker or friend, refute his or her arguments logically.
  • Question
    How do I convince a friend he is not as bad as he thinks he is?
    Margaret Cruz
    Community Answer
    Prove that they aren't as bad as they think they are. Give examples of good things they've done, or explain why what they did isn't so bad. Hopefully if you give them actual evidence, they'll be more likely to believe you.
  • Question
    I accidentally pushed my friend's brother and she thinks I did it on purpose. Now she won't accept my apology. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Ask to speak to her alone and calmly explain what happened (write down what you are going to say beforehand and practice it). It's important that you speak to her alone, because she probably won't want to seem weak in front of other people. Don't let yourself get excited or riled up, and if she still refuses to talk to you after you have explained things, then she's not worth your time.
  • Question
    What do I do if I have a stubborn younger sibling?
    Community Answer
    Most younger siblings are stubborn. Try to get through to them by using some of these tips, but if you continue to have a problem, talk to your parents about the best way to deal with your younger sibling.
  • Question
    My boyfriend is very stubborn. How do I get him to compromise before I lose my composure and dump him?
    Community Answer
    Talk to your boyfriend about how his stubbornness is affecting your relationship. When a disagreement arises, ask him to compromise. If he doesn't, keep your composure but move on to someone else.
  • Question
    What do I do if the person wants to irritate me?
    Community Answer
    Keep your cool and change the subject a few times if necessary. Don't let them see you rattled.
  • Question
    I have a very stubborn wife, she will never accept or appreciate anything that I do in our lives. It's been three years and she's always threatening with divorce. What can I do?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Keep taking the initiative to organize fun things, whether she appreciates it or not. That way she at least can't blame you for not trying. Understand the mechanics of threats, especially empty threats. "Do this or I'll divorce you", is a classic empty threat and she should learn not to use it. Tell her you're tired of these threats. May she find a threat that actually means something or actually divorce you. Call her bluff. Just make sure you talk and talk and talk, communication is key. Let her know how you feel about her behavior and ask her what she needs to make things better. If you need to do or change things, do that.
  • Question
    My friend is a really stubborn person. We got in a fight and she is really mad at me and its almost impossible to convince her to be my friend again. She seems like a bad person, but she's not, what should I do?
    Community Answer
    If she is a true friend, she will stay your friend. If not, see this as an opportunity to get to know new people.
  • Question
    How do I convince my best friend's stubborn dad that I'm not a bad influence, even if I've made mistakes in the past?
    Community Answer
    Lay out why you are a good person and how you made youthful decisions in the past. Ask him if he ever made really dumb mistakes and got caught. Let him know you are no longer that person and never want to be that again.
  • Question
    How do I deal with a stubborn guy that I'm not dating, but I'm having a child with?
    Community Answer
    Remain as calm as possible in any and all discussions with this guy. You can't change a stubborn person, but you can change your approach in dealing with them. Keep your voice level and smooth so as not to anger this person, because angry stubborn people are the worst. List logical arguments and consider both sides to show that if you can be reasonable, and hopefully he will be too.
  • Question
    How do I deal with a girlfriend that always want to take charge in a relationship and makes me feel less appreciated as a man in a relationship?
    Community Answer
    You can try to talk to her when you're alone together and let her know that her taking charge is affecting you and you'd like to offer a compromise with her in order to make the relationship better. If she refuses to compromise, then you'll have to reevaluate whether to continue the relationship or not.
  • Question
    My son takes everything I say as an attack and shuts down when I make suggestions. How can I relate with him?
    Community Answer
    Focus more on asking him what he thinks and feels rather than trying to make so many suggestions. It's easy to want to tell your teen what to do, but you have to recognize that they aren't in the same head space as you. They may not want advice or suggestions -- just a listening ear. Learn about the situations that are upsetting or frustrating him. Compliment him on the positive things he has done in regards to the situation. (For example, if he's in a fight with a friend and has already tried to apologize, commend him for that.) Finally, explain to him why you are suggesting things. Tell him that you don't want to attack him, but that you just want to help him so he doesn't have to deal with these struggles alone.
  • Question
    How do I deal with someone stubborn who doesn't like me because I don't give in to them?
    Community Answer
    Give in to them sometimes. You do not have to take an opposing stance against them all the time. And when you do go along with them, make it a point to let them know that they made a good decision and give them reasons why you are happy to do things their way. Do this regularly, and they will start to respect you and your opinions.
  • Question
    How do I deal with stubborn colleagues (some of whom are my peer group, one is older) who would not submit their reports after using all these techniques? MD feels I am not doing my job.
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    This is a professional situation. Whether they are older, peers, managers, doesn't matter. If they have to submit a report, but don't, escalate it. First send them an invitation to submit the report, well beforehand. Send a reminder or two before the deadline. No threats, no consequences, just a reminder. After the deadline, remind them again. If all this doesn't help, cc: your MD listing all the reminders you have sent. It's a professional organization, not a kindergarten, so no need to hold their hands. Failing to do their jobs leads to professional consequences such as loss of pay, reprimand, written warning or even being fired.
  • Question
    My husband and I recently moved in with his mother, who is almost 90. How can we take care of her if she doesn't think that she needs us?
    Community Answer
    Just try giving her some space and letting her feel independent while helping her whenever you can. If there is anything she is still capable of doing on her own, then be sure to let her take charge of those things so she can retain that independence for as long as possible.
  • Question
    My mom won’t let me go away for college she told me stay local for a year. I did, so how do I convince her to finally let me go?
    Community Answer
    Your mom is being selfish––she wants you around so she doesn't feel bad. Ask her: "Why is it so important for me to hang around here? Do you realize that if I don't go to college, I can't get a good job and I can't support you when you get older because I'll still be working locally instead of in a high paying job?". That might stir her to account for your future interests.
  • Question
    There's this kid at school who won't listen to me for anything. She says horrible things about people, is possessive, always thinks she's right and doesn't know what personal space is. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    Completely stay out of her way. Don't do what she asks, unless you don't mind. If she gets in your space, just walk away or say "Personal space...". You can talk to a teacher about her possessive nature and maybe they can help set her straight. If she is gossiping to you, stand up for your classmates.
  • Question
    What should I do if my spouse wants to make all of the decisions in our household?
    Community Answer
    You should be firm with them. Let them know that a marriage is 50/50; neither partner is in charge of the other, and decisions should be made with equal input from both sides. If this is important to you, then don't back down if they try to convince you to let them manage everything.
  • Question
    How can I deal with a truly stubborn father who never accepts my ideas and won't even listen to reason?
    Lila Roberts
    Community Answer
    Try incorporating his ideas into yours. While this is sneaky, it will force him to acknowledge that either some of his ideas are incorrect or that some of your ideas are correct. Either way, it will show him that your ideas are worth considering as an alternative to his.
  • Question
    My dad is really stubborn and is forcing me to learn design and media. He gets upset and aggressive quickly. How can I refuse learning that to focus on something else?
    Community Answer
    If he is paying, then do it. If you are paying, make your own choice. Even if he is paying and you do it, treat it as your first qualification and then go and do what you really want to do to. In this day and age, having several different qualifications is looked upon favorably and will allow you to try a lot of different types of jobs and stay ahead of job market changes. As for his aggression, you are probably almost or just an adult, so you are about to embark on your own life. Get out of his way, tell him from afar that you abhor his aggression and suggest he get anger management before you return home again. Of course, if he's paying for your degree, wait a bit first; this is not being mercenary, it is being sensible and getting the head start in life a parent owes a child.
  • Question
    One of my friends acting weird by being stubborn, not taking pills after doctors suggest it is needed, she is not eating. The doctor said there is no problem in her body. What can we do?
    Community Answer
    You could try to hide those pills in her food. Cover with something that can hide the tastes with something sweet or sour. Always ask if it's okay to grind up pills before doing so, as this sometimes stops them from working as they need to, so you must be sure that it is okay to so first. Never heat the pills, add them after the food is cooked.
  • Question
    My elder sister is very stubborn at the age of 88. She is a cancer patient and very weak because of chemo treatment. Even then she does not want to keep a nurse. How to convince her?
    Community Answer
    Tell her she needs a nurse so they can help give her specialized care that is needed for her cancer. It might also help if you mention that you won't be taking on this role for her and that if she expects you to take on a heavy caring load, then she is asking too much of you as you are also elderly and need to care for your own health. Another option is: Stay at home with a nurse, or move to hospice care without one. Most stubborn people see sense when given hard choices.
  • Question
    My friend refuses to let anyone to tell her she is wrong. She then makes excuses and tells me I am annoying. Other people in our friend group are afraid of her. What do I do?
    Madeleine
    Community Answer
    Stand up to her. Show her that you aren't afraid. By doing that it will show that she isn't always the one in control and that she can't you and your other friends.
  • Question
    I have a very stubborn friend who treats me like I am dumb and takes all my suggestions as a joke. How do I make her see my point of view and consider my suggestions?
    Top Answerer
    If she does not take your opinion seriously, actively avoids empathy, and disrespects you, she's not a friend; she's a user. You should distance yourself from her.
  • Question
    My husband is a really stubborn person. He doesn't allow me to use any social networking, not even WhatsApp, even though I require it for my professional purposes. What can I do?
    Community Answer
    This is sign of abuse. Your husband isn't just "stubborn," he's attempting to control you as though you were a child. This is not normal for a healthy relationship, and you'd do well to either seek couples counseling to learn how to pursue a functional relationship with one another and establish healthy boundaries, or end the relationship.
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