Q&A for How to Deal With a Cheating Spouse

Are you dependent on him? Do you have young children? If your answers are "no" to these questions, then get rid of him. If your answers are "yes," then start changing things for yourself. Be proactive. It's not worth wasting your life being miserable and worrying about who's next.

You should end the relationship and get rid of them. Your spouse does not value you or your relationship. You are nothing more than a place card holder for someone or something else. It will be difficult at first, but it will be healthier for you emotionally in the long run.

Give yourself time to grieve your loss. You can't make someone love you or stay with you. Ask yourself if you really love him or just hate rejection. Moving on is hard. Be sure you don't idealize him or the relationship. You deserve someone who treats you better than this.

Absolutely. Emotional affairs are just as hurtful as sexual affairs. If your spouse regards this other person as "just a friend" and continues to invest more time and attention into them instead of you, it will probably evolve into something more than an emotional affair. Cheating is more than just having sex outside of your relationship.

It seems like your husband doesn't love you, he's just dependent on you for some reason or other and thinks he loves you. He may have affection for you, but if he truly loved you, he would not be falling for other women.

Really, they should have been "off limits" in the first place since s/he took marriage vows and then had sex with someone else, so it would be rather pointless as you already know they will not keep their word to you. Sex outside of the marriage should have been "off limits" in the first place so there is no reason to believe they will not do it again with that person or another. That person is now also their lover and you can't change that. If you do decide to stay together, then agree to leave that other person out of both your lives. Maybe move even.

It doesn't sound like your spouse will ever change. If you want to leave, rely on your family and friends for help and contact an experienced divorce attorney.

It really feels like there's nothing really wrong here. Give it time. If he made a few minor mistakes, for what he thought were good reasons, then after talking about together he changed his ways to avoid hurting you, that's the ideal course things could take. And now he's making a renewed effort. That's great! Enjoy it, reciprocate it, build a strong relationship. There is, of course, that gnawing thought he may just be hiding it better. Just promise yourself that you will take action as soon as you find out, if something is to be found out. Relax, trust him, enjoy your love.

If he's cheated on you many times before and you are aware of this, then it's time to take action. You know your intuition is asking to you to do this, but you're neglecting listening to it. He has complete control over you because he knows you will forgive him again and again. Wake up. It's time to enjoy life without him.

Do not call or text or have any interaction with her. You have no connection to her -- your relationship is with your spouse, and it's with him that you need to work things out.

Just ignore her as much as possible. Since you're at work, you don't want to cause drama or do anything that could result in your termination. It's best to play it safe.

You should divorce him if you know he's willfully lying to you.

If he kissed her, he will sleep with her. Tell him calmly that this makes you uncomfortable. Remind him of how much he loves you and tell him that this other woman needs to be out of the picture.

You should get divorced. Your marriage has been broken for a long time and is not likely repairable.

This is clearly a relationship that does not work. Explain to her that the marriage is over, as it is clear that your wife has been displaying anger because she is guilty of cheating and unwilling to own up to her mistakes. Move on and find someone who will be devoted to you.

You said, "again,” which means it is not the first time. If he has already done it more than once you should at the very least see a couples counselor about it.

I'm sorry, but it doesn't sound like she is committed to a marriage with you. Divorce may be your best option if she is not contrite and won't change her behavior.

Make copies and go see your lawyer! You have everything you need. He has shown you he's not committed any longer, so there is no discussion that needs to take place until you know your options under the law.

Don't do anything you will regret later. Getting revenge will not make you feel better. Cheating is between your parents; you are not involved no matter how angry you get.

I would be significantly more concerned about my husband's behavior. If you've got a good man who is dedicated to you, it doesn't matter what kind of cake he is offered on the street - he's going home to get his dessert.

I would recommend leaving that person. If they refuse to apologize after cheating on you, then it means they're not really sorry about what they've done, and they don't regret hurting you. That's not someone who deserves your time, effort, and love. At the very least, you should explore counseling together.

You need to ask him what is going on, and why he would rather spend time with his friends. You should also confront him about the condoms and not just accept any answer he gives you.

Stay strong, you'll get through this. But you might not be with him when you're through. It's only been 3 months, so give yourself more time to think about this. My advice? Pick a number: how many times can your heart suffer this and stay with him? Let's say seven, but of course never tell him that or he'll be doing everyone in sight. Promise yourself that if it ever gets to seven, you will act immediately, come what may. It'll be over. Now be honest, what if your number is 1? Or 0? Just because he does it doesn't mean you have to forgive. If this is a no, then end it.

Of course you have issues with your husband continuing to work with the person he had an affair with. I recommend you find a marriage counselor to help you both.

If you're absolutely sure he cheated and he refuses to admit it or apologize, you should leave him. You can't trust someone who treats you that way.

Get treatment for the HIV; it's no longer the death sentence it once was. Contact all persons who you had sex with and alert them to this situation. It feels to me like you both 'got used' to him cheating. He just does what he wants, every now and then you can't stand it anymore, you confront him, he apologizes, nothing changes and he just keeps doing what he wants. If you really can't stand him cheating on you, then maybe it's time to find someone who doesn't cheat on you.

Unfortunately, you can’t make him want to stay if he already wants to marry someone else. Do what is best for you and move on.

They might still love you, but are interested in other people like you. Or, they might be bored or uncomfortable with you, even if they love you. Talk to them about it, as you need to know.

No. Watching pornography and masturbating is not cheating. However, if this makes you uncomfortable or feels like a betrayal, you are allowed to set boundaries in a relationship. If he's excessively watching pornography, he might even have an addiction. You should try to set aside time to discuss this with your husband.

No. If your wife cheated on you more than once, then she is a serial cheater, and is very likely going to do it again. Unless you're okay with being cheated on, it would be unwise to accept her apology.