What Kind of Reality Check Do I Need Quiz
Q&A for How to Decide If You Should Get Married
Coming soon
Search
-
QuestionI'm 12 and I found my soul mate - my boyfriend of two weeks. He's 11, but age doesn't matter, right?Community AnswerIf you're asking if the age difference between the two of you matters, no, it probably does not. If you're asking if you're old enough to get married, the answer is definitely not. Also, you should know someone for longer than two weeks before deciding that they're your soul mate.
-
QuestionHow do I know neither one of us will end up hurt?Community AnswerYou don't know, because nothing in life is guaranteed. However, not being able to see the future is neither an argument for nor against getting married.
-
QuestionI'm 19 and my boyfriend is 26, we are planning to get married by next year. We're both working and already have a stable life. Is there really a right age to get married?Community AnswerNo, there is no right or wrong age to marry, provided that both of you are really committed to each other and realize that a marriage is not a perfect dream. Just don't rush into it. If you're having doubts, put it off for a while until you're certain.
-
QuestionMy boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and now he wants us to get married, he has everything planned. He's 31 and I'm 23. I love him, but am not ready to settle down. How do I tell him?Tom De BackerTop AnswererIf you're not ready, you're not ready. That's fine, so if you're beating yourself up about it, don't. If someone wants to marry you, that can only happen if you agree. As to how to tell him, the best way is to just sit down and talk. Think of alternatives, such as a long engagement; tell him what you want, ask him how he feels. You can most likely work something out. Avoid forcing a choice between marriage and break-up, and don't be forced into anything you don't want.
-
QuestionWhat if everything was fine before the marriage, but afterward we've started clashing?Andimaxx1955Community AnswerIt happens to all couples. Living with another person is hard to get used to. Communication is your best bet. Time will allow you to get use to each other's habits. Talk to a counselor or clergy person if you're very concerned.
-
QuestionLive together 1 year, dating 4 years total. Things are great, my head tells me she's the top candidate for marriage, but my heart isn't dying to be with her and I've never been head over heels in love with her. Any advice?Tom De BackerTop AnswererThe head-over-heels thing is not the end goal, it is merely one of many optional phases a blossoming relation can go through on its way to that strong, everlasting and very satisfying feeling we call love. There is no such thing as a top candidate here. If you like three women, and score them each 6, 6 and 7, then the 7 would be your top candidate of those three. But if to consider marriage, you need at least an eight, why would you marry the 7? Stop comparing her, look at her for what she's worth. Find out how she feels about marriage. Or, just stay together, things are great as they are.
-
QuestionI'm 15 and he's 18. We've dated for a long time and we've been best friends since elementary school. We have a deep soulmate connection. Is it right?AbigailAbernathyTop AnswererNo. This is illegal. At 15, you are too young to legally consent to sex, let alone get married.
-
QuestionMy girlfriend and I love each other, but my parents do not approve of her. Is it still okay to get married?Community AnswerIt really depends. Marriage is wonderful, but it's not easy -- do you potentially want to drive a wedge between yourself and your family for this woman? If you're sure, and she's worth it to you, go for it. But be aware that you may have conflict with your parents for a while afterwards.
-
QuestionWhat if I'm 18 and my partner is 23? We tend to get emotional when we're not together, but we get along just right when we spend weekends together.AbigailAbernathyTop AnswererYou are far too young for marriage. Look at your life circumstances right now. Can you two afford to live together? Do you two have jobs that pay a living wage? Can you pay the bills? Can you buy groceries every week and still have money for rent? You only see your boyfriend on the weekends, you do not know what he is like when he is not with you, and you don't know what it is like to be around him all the time. You should wait.
-
QuestionI'm 28, but not don't yet have a stable financial life, because my business is still growing, but I got my girl pregnant. She is 21 and I want to marry her, I'm worried about finances. What should I do?Community AnswerWhether you marry her or not, she's still having your baby. She needs your support. I'd advise you to marry her if you love her. Try getting another part-time job if you need more money, and consider asking for help from friends or family if you need to.
-
QuestionWhat if my mom doesn't think he has enough money?Community AnswerFirst off, while it is only natural for a parent to be concerned, the decision for you to get married is in no way theirs to make. If you think it will help, ask your boyfriend to talk emotionally with your mom and assure her he can be trusted and can take care of you.
-
QuestionI am 22 and my partner is over 30. We are planning to get married next year, but I don't know how my parents will react to this. Any advice?Tom De BackerTop AnswererYour parents are not getting married to your partner - you are. You have to follow your own path, and if that happens to coincide with what your parents may have dreamed up for you, that avoids a lot of conflicts. But deep down, your parents want you to be happy first and foremost, and the only way to be happy is to be true to yourself. If you are on your own path, then you are true to yourself. If that is a different one than parents had in mind, so be it. And if you're on your parents' path and it's not your own, you'll be unhappy, and so will they.
-
QuestionHow will I know if my partner and I will get along?Community AnswerYou would likely date them first for at least at least a couple years before the proposal, but if it was an arranged marriage, then you could still get to know your partner more before marriage.
-
QuestionI am 27 years of age and unable to decide whether I should marry someone or not. I want to get married but I don't want to end up with wrong person. What should I do?Community AnswerDeciding to marry without a reason can be difficult. If you aren't married yet, maybe you haven't felt it inside you yet. Until you feel drawn to someone as a life partner, it is best to avoid marrying just for the sake of it. Where you will meet the right person in impossible to tell. So, just lead your life trying to be a better person who is patient in testing times, faces their fears, understands people and why they act rashly, etc. Just work on yourself until you meet people and finally feel certain about a man who respects you and with whom you want to live forever.
-
QuestionI'm a girl and never want to get married, but my family insists that I'll eventually want it! My mom's currently "training [me] to be the perfect wife" and I hate it! What should I do?Community AnswerSince you don't want to marry, as you sit through your mom's teachings, just act maturely and nod. If you aggressively deny her, she'll think that you're immature and so will think you need a man. What will help in the future is if you have a job with a good income. That way, if your parents ask who will pay the bills, you can say that you will. Being independent is one way to be able to take your decisions. Being mature in difficult situations with family is something everyone needs to learn. They can't force you to marry, legally.
-
QuestionMy boyfriend is 25 and I'm turning 21 and he has proposed to me and I said yes but I'm concerned about what will my mom say. Also, he does not have enough money and I'm still in school but I want us to get married. Advice?Community AnswerA husband and wife run the house together. They pay bills and have children. If your boyfriend and you can't do it now, it is best to wait until you can. If he shows no interest in dealing with family life responsibly, you might have to carry on, complete your studies and marry someone responsible. As for your mother's reaction, she's likely to be concerned about the same things, so if you address these issues, you'll have a good response.
-
QuestionI have a partner for 7 years but he is married, has 2 kids but they are already separated. But now I am in love with someone else and I feel that he is the one. What should I do?Community AnswerThe question is if you are certain that the new guy is the one, why are you still uncertain? Marriage is upheld by trust and loyalty. Clearly, you are not loyal, from the married man's point of view. So, it looks like he can be separated from so you don't cheat on him any longer. If the other one is available, bring up marriage in your regular conversations and see if he wants to marry you. You will know what to do with him based on his answer.
-
QuestionMy boyfriend doesn't work. We are engaged and we want to get married but I think about it a lot. I am scared that when we are married I will give him bad words, like you are not working and I am. Advice?Community AnswerA non-working man who has no idea who runs the house might get ego trips and take out his frustrations on you to 'show you your position'. What will he be doing if not working, the whole day? And how will you enjoy being with a man who does whatever he does while you do the earning and perhaps manage work at home also? If it seems uncertain and unfortunate, ask him to be independent before marriage occurs. If he doesn't want to make any changes, help him be stronger and not be so dependent on someone else. A married man, a husband, has to be a pillar of support with the wife being the other pillar. The wife will break if she is doing it alone.
-
QuestionShould a couple get married anyway if one of them feels like they are not financially stable yet?Community AnswerAssess your needs by making a list of things you need as a married couple for a month and see if your earnings will help to sustain your needs. If you can't live with your earnings, you will have to delay marriage. If you both will be frustrated because of the challenging adjustments, wait for better finances. If you both can sustain with whatever you have and even support a child if one of you wants to parent children, then go ahead with marriage. Getting a better job, earning extra income through other part time job works for people. Try it if you must to get married.
-
QuestionI'm 20 and my boyfriend is 36 we both love each other and we both are ready to get married but he gets angry easily. What should I do, should I still marry him?Moonmodule1998Top AnswererThe choice is ultimately yours, but I would advise you to wait. You are very young. The age gap between you combined with the anger issues is a classic red flag for abuse. Get to know him and yourself more before you make any big decisions. Do not feel rushed into any decision; it should be made with a clear head and no doubts. If it was meant to be, you can afford to take your time.
Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit