Q&A for How to Develop a Friendly Tone of Voice

Focus on strengthening your body and your support system, first and foremost, and then strengthening your vocal cords to be able to hold a tone and have a constant airflow as well as a constant support system to keep them vibrating smoothly.

You can try doing this through improving your speech habits, speaking clearly, having a positive mindset and constantly focusing on improving vocal intonation. You can find help with this here: How to Develop a Perfect Speaking Voice .

A friendly tone of voice is one that attracts people, making them feel comfortable around the speaker and creating a desire to engage with the speaker. It is a tone that carries no sense of aggression, tension, strain or anxiety; rather, it is open, warm and caring, giving others a clear impression that the speaker is comfortable talking with other people.

It is possible to consciously change the tone of your voice by improving your elocution, trying to change your pitch and volume and altering your speech patterns to sound friendlier, more enthused, unfriendly, etc. However, be aware that you are limited by the size of your vocal cords and physiological factors relevant to yourself; as such, extensive change to your voice tone is usually not possible. For help with making tone changes, see How to Change Your Voice .

You can try disguising your voice (see How to Disguise Your Voice ) or you can try changing your voice (see How to Change Your Voice ). Ways to make your voice sound different include: Breathing correctly when speaking, taking singing or acting lessons and changing your elocution through a voice coach or copying a voice you like on video clips.

Breathe, remain calm and remember to be in control of your actions. Stay in the moment and don't forget that you control your voice and what your body does.

Ask people why they think you're intimidating to pinpoint the problem. It might be a problem with your tone, but it could also be something having to do with your facial expressions or body language. Generally, try to speak in a soft and calm voice with a smile on your face.

Pay close attention to how you speak during your conversations with strangers, friends, and family members. Be sure to smile, and take the time to give detailed answers or comments to people when they're chatting with you. Ask people who are close to you how you can be honest without being overly direct.

It's like anything else that you fear, you have to just force yourself to do it until it doesn't give you anxiety anymore. Tell yourself "I must make eye contact to make a good impression on this person" and just do it. Practice with friends and family in a low stress environment first. You'll get the hang of it.

Vocal pitch depends on breathing and control. Use your diaphragm to breathe and practice creating the tone you want. This will mean you need to keep listening to recordings of your voice, however!

Draw out your words a little more. I struggle with the same thing; I shorten words without meaning to. Sometimes, just nodding and not responding is all someone wants when they are talking to you.

Self-reflection is all you can really do. After someone appears to be upset with you (or thinks you are upset with them), think about your body language and your tone. Were you using "closed" signals (crossing arms, leaning away, not making eye contact)? What did your facial expression show? (For instance, furrowed brows often show anger or confusion, and a clenched jaw usually shows anger, even if you didn't intend it). Were you speaking faster or louder than intended? Once you become more aware of these seemingly small things, you can make sure you are only doing what you intend to do.

Practice smiling - in the mirror, at strangers, into space, etc. Just notice when you're not smiling and smile. Also try to think about how you would want people to act around you, and be like that. Treat others how you would like to be treated. Use open body language. When you have closed off body language while talking to someone, such as folded arms, etc., you can come off as rude or seem like you don't care. Try talking to people with your arms at your sides, on your hips, or even in your pockets.

It depends on the age of the child. If the children are under the age of 7, speak calmly, to convey calm. A way to learn about your calm voice (for vocal soothing) is to talk normally in a 'yawning voice' which means speaking with heavy 'yawning air'. If you want to let a child know something or correct them, do it in a calm manner. If children are a little older, talk normally but still careful about your tone regularly.

Record yourself while speaking (audio or video). Listen carefully to the way you sound. Compare it to the way other people sound. Try copying them.