Q&A for How to Get Over a Crush

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I have a crush on a classmate. We've never spoken and maybe we never will (I seldom speak with girls). I try to avoid her, but everytime I see her, I get a strange feeling of attraction. What to do?

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wikiHow Staff Editor

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If your crush isn't going away and there's a possibility she might reciprocate, why not take a chance and tell her how you feel? Even if she doesn't return your feelings, knowing for sure may help you get over your crush. If you don't want to tell her how you feel, continue distancing yourself, and try to engage your attention elsewhere: make some new friends, or try out a new hobby. Your crush will fade over time.

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Question

Today I asked my crush via text if he wanted to meet me at Seminary for hot cocoa, but he didn't reply! I am so upset and heartbroken! Should I "wash that man out of my hair"? Or see what happens?

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This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

wikiHow Staff Editor

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It might be worth it to reach out again, or to try asking him to get cocoa in person; after all, technology is a funny thing and sometimes texts don't make it where they're supposed to go. It's possible he didn't get your text and would actually be interested in meeting up. If it turns out your crush did just want to ignore your invitation because he's not interested (which is a super immature way for him to handle it!), it'll sting, but knowing for sure that he doesn't return your feelings may help you move on sooner.

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Question

How do I get rid of this pain that he might not like me back or even recognize me at all?

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If you think he's not aware of you, try getting to know him better. It's possible he just doesn't really know you well enough, but once he does, he'll return your feelings. If he doesn't, or if you don't want to tell him how you feel in the first place, try distancing yourself from him and give your feelings time to fade. They will go away eventually, we promise.

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Question

What happens if your crush is engaged or married and you don't want to admit it to them?

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wikiHow Staff Editor

Staff Answer

If your crush is already with someone, it's best not to tell them how you feel. Try to maintain some distance from them. Distract yourself with hobbies or by meeting new people, or vent to friends about your feelings. Your crush will go away in time.

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Question

What if your crush likes you but has a girlfriend?

Community Answer

At most, you can let him know you're interested and leave him to make the decision. Trying to get involved before he's broken up is a recipe for disaster.

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Question

What if both you and your friend have a crush on the same guy? I've told my friend but I still think about him.

Community Answer

It's good that you and your friend are being honest with each other. Have a heart-to-heart talk and decide what to do. If you're both mature enough to avoid jealousy, make a mutual decision about who gets to pursue him. If you can't do this without friction, both of you should make the friendship a priority and walk away from the guy.

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Question

I'm a trans boy. My crush says he is gay, but doesn't like me in that way. We are both boys, so why did he say he doesn't like me? I'm a little hurt, but mostly confused.

Community Answer

Just because someone is attracted to a certain gender doesn't mean they're attracted to everyone of that gender. (You don't crush on all of the people of the gender(s) you're attracted to, right?) If your crush didn't tell you he's gay to explain his disinterest, he likely sees you as a boy, but just doesn't feel that way about you. It's best to put some distance between the two of you so that you can move on.

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Question

What if I have class with my crush and it would be awkward if you told them you liked them?

Community Answer

It's always scary to tell someone you like them. But if this is your only reason for wanting to get over them, don't let it stop you. It's worth the chance of some awkward conversations.

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Question

My crush knows I like him and I enjoy his company, but I can't see us working out in a relationship. What do I do?

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Be honest: tell him you don't see the two of you in a relationship. This could be hard on your friendship, depending on how he feels, but it's better than getting his hopes up.

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Question

What if my crush doesn't know who I am?

Community Answer

Try to say hi, and start small conversations with topics you both find interesting.

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Question

What if your crush sends me a message asking why I'm being distant? How do you stop yourself flirting with her when she keeps initiating it?

Community Answer

Tell her you need to take a break from talking to her. Don't reply to her texts and block her on social apps and websites. (For other readers, this applies to guys as well.)

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Question

How long does a crush last for?

Drew Hawkins1

Community Answer

A crush can last from anywhere between a day, a week, or even a few months. It really depends on how much you really like the person. As you get to know them, you may find that you like them even more, or that they're not exactly the person you thought they were.

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Question

How do you get over a crush on a friend?

Drew Hawkins1

Community Answer

You can start by admitting to yourself that you have a crush on your friend and then make a list of reasons why you like them, and why you shouldn't like them. If you still feel that you shouldn't try to be with your friend in a romantic sense, try to spend less time with them, focus on yourself and your interests, and try to meet new people so you can work to get over your crush.

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Question

How do I stop thinking about my crush?

Drew Hawkins1

Community Answer

Try distracting yourself to keep your mind off of your crush. Start exercising to clear your mind and get in shape. Spend some time doing old hobbies that you haven't been able to get to in a while. You can also try to meet and spend time with new people who share similar interests with you to make yourself feel better. Who knows? You may even meet somebody new that you can start a romantic relationship with.

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