Q&A for How to Have Good Table Manners

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  • Question
    What should I talk about at a dinner party?
    Tami Claytor
    Etiquette Coach
    Tami Claytor is an Etiquette Coach, Image Consultant, and the Owner of Always Appropriate Image and Etiquette Consulting in New York, New York. With over 20 years of experience, Tami specializes in teaching etiquette classes to individuals, students, companies, and community organizations. Tami has spent decades studying cultures through her extensive travels across five continents and has created cultural diversity workshops to promote social justice and cross-cultural awareness. She holds a BA in Economics with a concentration in International Relations from Clark University. Tami studied at the Ophelia DeVore School of Charm and the Fashion Institute of Technology, where she earned her Image Consultant Certification.
    Etiquette Coach
    Expert Answer
    Make sure the conversation is general so that everyone can participate in the discussion. If it's very niche, then people will be excluded.
  • Question
    What's the proper way to hold a spoon and a fork?
    Tami Claytor
    Etiquette Coach
    Tami Claytor is an Etiquette Coach, Image Consultant, and the Owner of Always Appropriate Image and Etiquette Consulting in New York, New York. With over 20 years of experience, Tami specializes in teaching etiquette classes to individuals, students, companies, and community organizations. Tami has spent decades studying cultures through her extensive travels across five continents and has created cultural diversity workshops to promote social justice and cross-cultural awareness. She holds a BA in Economics with a concentration in International Relations from Clark University. Tami studied at the Ophelia DeVore School of Charm and the Fashion Institute of Technology, where she earned her Image Consultant Certification.
    Etiquette Coach
    Expert Answer
    Hold them by your index finger and your thumb and then rest them on the third finger. Don't hold them too high or too low—opt for somewhere near the center. Also, make sure you bring the food to your mouth while sitting up straight. You don't bend forward to meet the food.
  • Question
    What can I do to improve my manners?
    Community Answer
    This article is a great place to start your research: how to have good manners .
  • Question
    Why are table manners important?
    Community Answer
    Table manners are important because they are a sign of respect for the place you are eating and the people you are eating with.
  • Question
    Where do I put my spoon when I finish my soup?
    Community Answer
    If you have a side plate, you gently put your spoon to the left of it. If you do not have a side plate, you can gently put your spoon to the left of your bowl.
  • Question
    Why should I not stick my gum under the table?
    Community Answer
    Because it's gross. No one wants to find chewed, germ-infested gum underneath the table. If you need to spit out gum, politely and discreetly do it in a napkin. It's more hygienic this way.
  • Question
    How do I clean my mouth at the dinner table?
    Community Answer
    Use a napkin.
  • Question
    What do I do when food is very salty?
    Community Answer
    Insure that you have a drink of water with you at all times. If it is uncomfortable to drink it at the table, excuse yourself to the restroom. If you do not have access to any water or anything sweet nearby, simply try not to eat much of the salty dish.
  • Question
    How to clean my mouth?
    Community Answer
    Use your napkin and drink water.
  • Question
    In which hand should I hold my knife?
    Community Answer
    If you are cutting something, hold your knife in your right hand and your fork with the other. Brace the piece of food you are cutting with your fork, and cut with the knife. (Use the opposite hands if you are left handed; it doesn't matter if people find you ill-mannered because you cut with your left hand.) Then just switch the fork to your right hand to eat.
  • Question
    What can you do if the food you're served is disgusting?
    Community Answer
    One of our most useful senses is smell. Our taste buds do not actually receive much information about the taste of something, but rather our smell receptors which help to inform us. If you hold your breath while eating, the taste of it will almost disappear. Work on eating while not breathing through your nose. Breath through your mouth instead. If the way it looks bothers you, close your eyes. If the texture disgusts you, imagine it as something else (ie: porridge to oranges).
  • Question
    How do I use the table knife properly?
    Community Answer
    If this is a shared knife, be sure to wipe it with your napkin before and after use. Hold the knife between your thumb and index finger (and middle finger for tougher items), blade facing down away from your palm. Hold down the item you are cutting with a fork, making sure not to completely puncture the item to the plate (this may cause an unpleasant scraping sound when cutting). Slice the item with your knife until you are finished. Hold the knife sideways on the piece being held down, to dislodge the fork. Use the fork to eat the smaller bit you cut off.
  • Question
    Is it acceptable to use a napkin to clean a spill?
    Community Answer
    Yes, it is absolutely acceptable.
  • Question
    When you are at the lunch or dinner table, can a woman leave her handbag on the table?
    Community Answer
    If a women has her handbag with her, she should put it down on the floor just beside or under her chair.
  • Question
    How do I deal with an embarrassing moment?
    Community Answer
    If you get stuck in an embarrassing moment, just excuse yourself by saying that you're sorry and try not to repeat the same mistake.
  • Question
    Why are good manners at the table important?
    Community Answer
    They're extremely important because they show you have respect for yourself, the food, and everyone around you.
  • Question
    Is it acceptable to eat decorative garnishes, basil, etc.?
    Community Answer
    Yes, it's okay to eat garnishes, assuming they're edible.
  • Question
    How many donuts are acceptable to take at once when someone has brought in donuts to treat the office staff?
    Community Answer
    Only take one. If there are leftovers after everyone has had one, you can take another.
  • Question
    What should the distance be between a diner and the dining table?
    Community Answer
    The distance between the diner and the table should be about the length of the diner's forearm.
  • Question
    Is it bad manners to take a small sample of food to ensure that I will enjoy it before taking a larger portion?
    Community Answer
    No, it isn't. In fact, it's better than taking too much, which could be construed as rude.
  • Question
    At a restaurant, if a person asks for a box to take home leftover food before others are finished eating, is that proper manners?
    Community Answer
    It would be more appropriate to wait for all the guests to finish their food.
  • Question
    How close should my head be to the plate when eating?
    Community Answer
    You should be seated upright, and bring your utensil up to your mouth, not the other way round.
  • Question
    Is it necessary to fold napkins when setting the table?
    Community Answer
    Yes, napkins should be folded and placed on the dishes.
  • Question
    Is it polite to blow on food to cool it?
    Ellie
    Community Answer
    If you must, blow on it gently and discreetly. Some people consider this bad manners, though, so sometimes it's best to wait. Start eating cooler foods first.
  • Question
    If the table is too high, is it proper to place my plate on my lap and eat?
    Community Answer
    Always try to mirror what your host is doing, or other guests. If they eat from the lap, then you can too. But if not, then no.
  • Question
    What happens if you drop food on the floor?
    Hannah Madden
    Community Answer
    Try to quickly lean down and pick it up with your napkin. If it's a lot of food (or a drink), let the host know that you might need a towel to wipe up the mess. Dropping food might happen, and that's okay! Just try to clean it up as soon as you can.
  • Question
    What do you do if you have a piece of food really stuck in between your teeth?
    Hannah Madden
    Community Answer
    Excuse yourself to the restroom and try to get it out while looking in the mirror. Or, you can wait for the end of the meal and ask the host if they have a toothpick. Avoid picking your teeth at the table, as that can be considered rude.
  • Question
    is it considered rude/bad manners to use slang?
    Community Answer
    It depends. When at a fine restaurant or with well-mannered company, it would be advisable to avoid using slang language. At a fast food restaurant, it might be okay, depending on whom you're with.
  • Question
    Why should we put our phone on silent while eating?
    Otterly Badgerific
    Top Answerer
    A ringing or buzzing phone is loud and disruptive. It is not respectful to interrupt the meal, in consideration of the cook, the host and your fellow diners, who have all come together to enjoy a meal together, converse and generally be convivial. Phone calls, texts and alerts can all be checked after the meal is done.
  • Question
    Should I push my chair in before leaving a restaurant?
    Top Answerer
    Yes, you should push your chair in as much as possible so that people can get past easily, and to show there is nobody sitting on that chair.
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