Q&A for How to Have More Self Confidence and Love Yourself

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What is the key to loving yourself?

Julia Yacoob, PhD
Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Julia Yacoob is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist practicing in New York City. She specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for adults coping with a variety of symptoms and life stressors. Dr. Yacoob earned an MS and Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Rutgers University, and pursued specialized training at Weill Cornell Medical College, New York Presbyterian Hospital, Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, the Institute for Behavior Therapy, and Bellevue Hospital Cancer Center. Dr. Yacoob is a member of the American Psychological Association, Women’s Mental Health Consortium, NYC Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Association, and Association for Cognitive and Behavioral Therapies.

Julia Yacoob, PhD

Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

The key is being gentle and patient! It's always easier to assess how you would speak to somebody else, and use that perspective to acknowledge how critical you are of yourself. Slowly but surely chip away at that negative inner voice—focus on understanding why that voice is present and how to recreate your relationship to yourself and accept yourself as you are.

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Question

How do you ask another person for help if you have low self-esteem?

Kim Chronister, PsyD
Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Kim Chronister is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist. She specializes in helping people struggling with substance abuse, relationship problems, eating disorders, and personality disorders. Dr. Chronister has contributed to and appeared on Access Hollywood, Investigation Discovery, and NBC News. She is the author of “Peak Mindset” and “FitMentality.” She holds an MA in Clinical Psychology and a Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) from Alliant International University.

Kim Chronister, PsyD

Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

Remember that asking another person for help can be a compliment to them in many cases! Be sure to tell them that you know they're busy, that you respect them, and that you're grateful for their help. As long as they know that you're respectful of their time, they will likely be open to your request.

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Question

Why am I finding hard to love myself?

Community Answer

You'd know the answer to that question better than anyone. That said, low self-esteem is a struggle common to many. It's hard to value ourselves when we're keenly aware of the ways we fail and when we are surrounded by others who have looks or talents we wish we had. But God created you because there was no one else in the world quite like you. Believing that He made you for a purpose and that He loves you regardless of how you feel about yourself is a big step in the right direction.

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Question

How can I always feel okay if I am very sensitive?

Community Answer

The answer is you won't. You won't always feel okay but what you can do is to know that sometimes, it's okay not to feel okay and that makes you feel human. Instead, divert your attention to positive things, like what makes you feel happy and great and spend time with people who make you a better person.

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How could I show my feelings?

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Community Answer

You could stay in touch with your feelings by writing three things you're grateful for and then you may realize there are great things in life. That should make you happy, and then you'll feel more emotions. Then, to show them, you just have to be open and honest.

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Question

I feel so shy around people. I just feel I am not pretty enough with my acne. I worry about the smallest things like if my lips are weird or my nose is too flat. What should I do?

Community Answer

First of all, acne is such a common thing that I’m surprised that people still consider it a flaw. And you can still be introverted and beautiful, not only extroverts can be beautiful. As soon as you think you are beautiful, other people will too. Think of things you like about yourself and focus on that. Write them down and look at the list often.

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