Q&A for How to Hug

Return to Full Article

Search
Add New Question
  • Question
    Why does hugging help us forget our sadness?
    Community Answer
    Body to body contact releases endorphins or "happy hormones".
  • Question
    How do I hug a guy who's really shy?
    Community Answer
    Wait for the right moment. The shy person will prefer if you hug him or her when you're alone, because he/she could feel embarrassed with other people around.
  • Question
    A total stranger started giving me a tight bear hug for 30 seconds while I put out my arm and hand to shake. Why did he do this?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Perhaps a cultural difference, or a personal preference. It can be awkward sometimes, especially when you don't expect it. Practice a few movements, such as putting an arm between you, or placing a hand on his chest to stop him hugging you next time. Remember, you have the right to stop anyone and everyone to touch you in any way without your permission. You can just tell him: "Hhey, no more of those hugs like last time, I didn't like it."
  • Question
    My cousin "learned" in her Intro to Psych course that this is the correct way to hug someone: stand perfectly straight (like a board), extend the arms without moving your shoulders or elbows, squeeze relatively tightly for two seconds, and then let go. Is it true?
    Community Answer
    There isn't a 'correct' or 'incorrect' way to hug, as long as both people involved are comfortable. It should come naturally, especially if the two of your are comfortable with and generally affectionate with each other. If it's just a 'polite' hug, like with some relative you're greeting that you're not that close with, you don't need to squeeze them tightly or hold it for two seconds. If it's someone you're really close with, you can hold each other as long as you like. If you feel the other person letting go or feel like they're uncomfortable, let it go so it's not awkward.
  • Question
    How do I know if that person wants to hug me?
    Community Answer
    Usually, a person will take a few steps toward you while looking you in the eyes. If you want to hug them, this is the time to extend your arms. If you don't want to hug them, this is the time to step back and avert your eyes.
  • Question
    How do you hug someone much taller than yourself?
    Community Answer
    We've got three options for you: the waist hug for a friend, the "extend arms upward and smile" for a crush (inviting them to bend over), and the "leap into your arms" for a real romantic warning. Make sure your partner is ready before you jump!
  • Question
    How do you know if someone is expecting a hug?
    Community Answer
    Put one arm on the other person's back or around their shoulders, then pause for a second. If they stiffen, look surprised, or turn away, take your arm away. Otherwise, go for the hug.
  • Question
    When I am sad I really want a hug, but I don't have any friends. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Can you reach out to family members? You can also make a plan to make friends by trying new things, reaching out to people you know and inviting them to hang out.
  • Question
    How do you hug someone sitting down?
    Community Answer
    Just squat down and hug from that position. If you're the person sitting, reach up with your arms and ask for a hug.
  • Question
    What do I say to comfort an upset friend while hugging them?
    Community Answer
    Acknowledge that their problems are real ("That must be awful"; "I can't believe they did that to you"), and tell them it's not their fault ("No, you're not a bad person. You're a great friend."). Don't say you understand how it feels, or that they'll get over it.
  • Question
    How can I hug my crush without his friends teasing me?
    Community Answer
    You could keep the hugging for when the two of you are in private or just not around his friends, or just ignore them. Boys can be immature about stuff like that and they will often tease, you shouldn't let it bother you.
  • Question
    How do you hug someone much shorter than you?
    Community Answer
    If it's a casual hug, just wrap your arms around the other person's arms or shoulders. If you're hugging your romantic partner, you could lift him or her into the air.
  • Question
    How can I hug my mum if I've never been comfortable with physical contact?
    Ian
    Community Answer
    Try to trust her, know that nothing bad is going to happen if you hug her. I understand you don't like physical contact, you can't help it, it's who you are, but just try it, maybe it'll work.
  • Question
    "Females: Extend your arms toward him and wrap them around his neck and shoulders." What if he's taller than me? Also, is it okay to put my arms around his back?
    Ian
    Community Answer
    It's even cuter if you're shorter. If you can't reach, then there's no other way to do it than wrapping your arms around his back, so that's fine.
  • Question
    How do I hug an adult if I'm a teenager?
    Community Answer
    Age is not a factor in hugging. If it is someone for whom you feel affection, give a big warm hug. If it someone you dislike or don't know very well, a one-armed pat on the back is fine. It's really whatever you're comfortable with or feel like offering at the time.
  • Question
    How do you politely refuse hugs?
    Community Answer
    It is perfectly acceptable to thank someone for the offer of a hug, then tell you him or her you are not comfortable hugging strangers (or family). I hug strangers after getting their consent, but I would not be offended if you simply looked at me and said, "Thank you, and I'm going to pass on that today." Not everybody likes being touched, and that's OK. If you are trying to hand out hugs to strangers and get offended, or your feelings are hurt by a simple "no," then this is not the gig for you.
  • Question
    How can you hug your enemy?
    Community Answer
    Hug them only for a short amount of time. It doesn't have to be too close, but it should be genuine.
  • Question
    How do I know when it is appropriate to hug my friend?
    Community Answer
    You can ask your friend, or open your arms out to your friend and let him or her respond. Try this after an accomplishment, instead of a high-five.
  • Question
    How do I hug a child?
    Caeiia
    Top Answerer
    Bend down and wrap your arms around for a light squeeze.
  • Question
    How can I hug my boyfriend to show that he means a lot to me without seeming desperate?
    Community Answer
    Hug him just normal, like you hug him usually. Then maybe say something like: "Just want to say that I'm happy you're there" or "you mean a lot to me" or just an "I love you". If you don't want to say anything, a simple smile says a lot too.
  • Question
    How can I make someone hug me when I need one
    Community Answer
    Just tell the person you need a hug!
  • Question
    I a naturally skinny person, and I've been told that people don't like my hugs because I'm all bones. But I love giving hugs! What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Oh, goodness, just keep hugging. The (immature) people who are that bothered by your bones can evade your hugs if they don't want them.
  • Question
    When I am stressed or depressed I want to hug one of my friends. But how can I know she is ready to hug me?
    Community Answer
    You should just ask her if she would be comfortable with hugging. If she says no, then just wait until she hugs you first or ask again later on.
  • Question
    How do I tell someone I need a hug without it being awkward?
    Community Answer
    Things usually get awkward when we overthink them. I would simply say "I need a hug."
  • Question
    How do I hug a guy I have a crush on?
    Community Answer
    Talk to him, then open your arms to hug him when you say goodbye. He will likely come in to hug you back.
  • Question
    How do you hug someone at least 1 foot shorter than you?
    Community Answer
    Hug around the waist, as this allows the other person to hug you around the neck.
  • Question
    How do I hug my crush if we're both girls?
    Community Answer
    The same as if she were a boy. Just go into it like you're hugging a friend; one of you will naturally go into a position around the neck and the other one will go around the waist. Don't force it; just see which your partner goes for and take the other spot.
  • Question
    I am autistic, which means I find it difficult to understand signals. How can I know if someone wants a hug?
    Community Answer
    To be honest, I don't think it's easy for anyone to know that every time. Try this article on knowing when it's okay to hug someone.
  • Question
    Can I give a hug the opposite way?
    Community Answer
    Yes, you can.
  • Question
    How do I hug someone if I don't know if they want a hug?
    Community Answer
    Ask that person if they'd be comfortable with you hugging them first. If not, just wait until they hug you or ask them again at a later time.
Ask a Question

      Return to Full Article