Q&A for How to Keep Your Mouth Shut

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  • Question
    I keep forgetting to keep quiet. I make up my mind as to not say unnecessary things but then I forget about the resolution! What can I do?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    As with anything, practice makes perfect. Also, instead of remembering that you want to keep quiet, remember why you want to keep quiet.
  • Question
    What methods can I use or distractions can I make to stop myself from talking too harshly?
    Community Answer
    By self-checking your words. Think about how you would feel if someone said the same thing to you.
  • Question
    How can I stop myself from always finding excuses for my mistakes and trying to prove I'm right?
    Community Answer
    Be honest. I'm speaking from experience, and what I do is stop when a) the person I'm talking to looks bored or b) they seem to get the point. Realize that you don't have to be right in everything. It's not going to influence your life if someone declares that hamburgers are Asian food or something. My point is, most of these little things aren't going to matter a day from now, a year from now, so let them go.
  • Question
    It's hard to stay quiet because that's how I express my feelings, so how do I stop expressing my feelings by talking and express them in a different way?
    Community Answer
    Perhaps be more conscious of the context and occasion rather than "keeping quiet". If you are a naturally bubbly and loud personality, don't talk when the context requires you to be quiet and calm. However, let it all out when the context permits this, such as at parties, hanging out with friends or when outdoors. As for expressing your feelings, don't fall into the trap of making it all about you; be considerate of other people and let them express their feelings too. Sometimes being loud and wanting to talk about feelings all the time is a way of shutting others up and being the center of attention, so be careful to avoid being that kind of person.
  • Question
    I'm passionate when I talk and I'm hard of hearing (can't be fixed). My family always says I'm screaming. I don't mean to, but they take me wrong and get upset with me. Should I keep my mouth shut all the time?
    Community Answer
    No, you shouldn't have to. Make them sit down, and explain the situation to them. They're your family and they're bound to resolve your issue with a cool and calm disposition. Keeping your mouth shut is not the solution to your problems.
  • Question
    When is the best time to keep my mouth shut?
    Wendy Lapointe
    Community Answer
    I was always told, "If you can't say nothing nice, then don't say anything at all."
  • Question
    I always talk to people who are too good to me. But I go too deeply with them, into all personal things, which is not necessary. How do I avoid this?
    Community Answer
    Just make sure you don't get interested too much and I'm sure you'll be fine. If they carry the conversation too far maybe you could make an excuse to step back.
  • Question
    How do I control letting hurtful words come out of my mouth when I am upset with someone? I have a bad habit of confronting them immediately when angry or upset with someone.
    Community Answer
    Make yourself count to thirty before confronting them. Step out of the room before challenging them. Do not do it over the phone. Imagine that every word is a physical blow. If you think about your situation differently, and force yourself to take the time to calm before confrontation, you should then stop hurting others.
  • Question
    How do I stop someone from changing the subject when I talk?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Just keep coming back to your subject until you have said all you want to say. Or, directly confront them. "Hey, don't change the subject, this is important to me. You're being disrespectful."
  • Question
    How do I keep quiet in class?
    Community Answer
    Understand that class time is for learning, not for showing off or getting attention. Focus on taking notes. If you have questions, you can talk to the teacher after class.
  • Question
    Why I can't I shut my mouth from saying unnecessary things? I am always into nonsense. The worst part is that I will just realize after that I have already offended my friend. What can I do?
    Community Answer
    Just keep it to yourself and if the cat gets out of the bag just apologize and try to cover it up with a joke.
  • Question
    How do I stop myself from making many insulting jokes?
    youtube_roamer
    Community Answer
    Think before you say something. Think how people may analyze the joke and take it. If you realize they may be offended or hurt, then keep your mouth shut during a conversation or try to think of something different to say.
  • Question
    If I see something negative, should I say something?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    I have a mental list for this. Some things I promised myself that I will never let slide, such as littering or physical abuse. And because I promised myself that, I can let go of the urge to react to other things, like people aggressively merging in traffic ahead of me. So yes, if you see something negative you should respond, but only if it's important enough to you. It can be very exhausting to try and mend every wrong in the world. Besides, it's often better to do things right yourself instead of pointing out others' mistakes.
  • Question
    How do I stay calm and silent?
    Drew Hawkins1
    Community Answer
    One way you can stay calm and silent is to think about what you want to say and imagine how the conversation would play out, but don't actually say anything. Forcing yourself to imagine saying what you want to say before you actually say it will help you control immediate emotional responses, which will help you stay calm in a situation.
  • Question
    What are the benefits of silence?
    Drew Hawkins1
    Community Answer
    Silence makes it easier for you to practice active listening, meaning you can pay attention to not only what someone is saying, but how they're saying it because you won't be distracted with your own thoughts about what you should say next. Additionally, if you choose to be silent rather than complain or whine about something that bothers you, you won't be seen as difficult or a complainer.
  • Question
    Is sitting in silence good for you?
    Drew Hawkins1
    Community Answer
    Sitting in silence can potentially relieve stress and help you calm your mind. You can try silent activities like meditation, yoga, or even reading to keep your mind distracted from trying to come up with the next clever or interesting thing to say. It can also be a useful strategy to practice sitting in silence rather than saying something when you're angry. If you feel yourself getting emotional, try sitting quietly rather than saying the first thing that comes to mind. It's better to not say anything than to say something mean or hurtful that you'll regret.
  • Question
    How to be more quiet instead of talking back?
    KY_GirlatHeart
    Community Answer
    Don't open your mouth. If you know what you're going to say is disrespectful and hurtful, then don't say it. If you feel yourself getting mad, simply let the other person know that you need a break and walk away. When you feel calmer, you can join the person you were talking with again and resume the conversation in a calmer way.
  • Question
    How can I be quiet when someone is insulting me when he's angry with me?
    KY_GirlatHeart
    Community Answer
    You have two options: 1.) Sit there and let him insult you, but reassure yourself in your mind that you know that what he is saying is not true. 2.) Hold up your hand and calmly yet firmly say, "I need a break right now." and walk off.
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