Q&A for How to Keep a Secret

Try to keep conversation away from the topic of your secret. This way you are less likely to tell someone by mistake. If this is not possible, tell yourself to keep this secret before answering every question or making any statement.

This problem is very common. Just keep the topic of boyfriends as far from your parents' minds as possible. But know that if the relationship is serious, you will probably have to end up telling them.

Have a talk with them about how important it is to you that they keep that secret. They might not realize the implications for you if they share it, so make sure they understand.

Talk about other things with your friends. Also distract yourself from the secret. If it is not on your mind as often it is less likely that you will tell someone by mistake.

Tell her that you don't wish to speak about it, and try to avoid the topic. If she does continue to talk about it, tell her, softly, that you don't want to tell her.

You need to trust the person with whom this happened and trust yourself to never tell. Or, you may want to come clean about it.

Ask yourself how this secret would affect the people you plan to tell. How would it affect you or anyone else the secret concerns? Would you be helping someone, or potentially hurting someone?

Write it in a locked diary, and you can tell a trustworthy family member if you must talk about it.

Talk to her about the seriousness of cheating and try and get her to break one of the relationships off. If you can't get her to do it, you may have to talk to her boyfriend about it.

Try telling a very trustworthy family member. They won't share your secret.

It's bad to share secrets, unless keeping the secret means someone would be killed or injured.

Don't talk about Wicca around your parents at all. If you ever look up Wicca-related things on your computer, phone, etc., do it in an incognito window or delete your cache and browser history afterward. Keep any Wicca-related items in a safe, secret place, and preferably not in your house at all. Boxes that you can lock are useful, but you'd still want to hide the box. Only talk about your beliefs with people you trust and be careful with what you write down. That's a hard secret to keep, especially for someone very young, but it's possible.

If keeping the secret is making you stressed or unhappy, and you don't think you can tell your parents, tell another trusted adult like a school counselor, teacher, religious leader, or even a friend's parent. Some secrets can be shared with a close friend, who might be able to support you or help you decide what to do.

It's rather rude to want to exclude your girlfriend, and you may want to evaluate whether this is a worthwhile relationship at all if you don't feel compelled to prioritize her or share special parts of your life with her. If there's something you want to do with your friend that wouldn't suit your girlfriend, you could celebrate with each of them separately on different parts of the day or different days, or could invite them both for a small celebration and then go do whatever you want to do with your friend (you can tell her it's a birthday treat from him to you, or something). If you're completely averse to having her around, the most honest thing would be to break up with this person or to tell her what it is that makes you wary of inviting her. If you want to go the worst route and stick with your original plan, then keeping a secret should be easy as long as your friend doesn't tell anybody, and if she asks, you can say you're not having a party or it's a small thing with family

Write it down in your diary and lock your diary and/or you can tell it to your parents if they are good secret keepers and trustworthy.

How about just leaving your spouse if you are no longer loyal to them. It's always better to live honestly, and your spouse should not be someone you would ever manipulate this way. Either be loyal or end the marriage.

The best way to NOT tell anyone is to write it in a well-hidden diary or on a piece of paper that you then burn or rip up.

Consider not telling them the secret next time and confront them.

It depends what it is. Friends may leak your secret, even accidentally. If you really don't want to take that chance, tell a school counselor or a therapist.

I would start by finding a really good hiding place. You might even want to change your hiding spot every few days or weeks so no one catches on. In the mean time, don't tell anyone that you even have a journal. People can't go looking for something if they don't know it exists!

No, that's not a nice thing you do. You could really hurt that person.

Don't tell anyone about it.

Accept responsibility for what you did, apologize and understand that she may not feel comfortable confiding in you any longer.

The best thing is to think about the favor you're doing for this friend. It's a show of loyalty and you may feel like a better friend yourself.

Tell them she is lying about you, and have a talk with her, too. Somebody who does that isn't being a very good friend.

It takes a long time to gain back trust after you've lost it. You will have to prove yourself to be trustworthy and not do anything to betray the person's trust again. See How to Rebuild Trust .

It is a bad idea. They're called "private parts" for a reason. They're private. The only exception would be if you or someone you know is being touched in a private area without permission or consent. If that is the case, tell an adult right away.

The best thing to do is honestly the hardest; own up to it. Have a sense of humor about it and own it. People will respect your honesty and it will blow over.

Usually past behavior tells you whether someone is trustworthy. It's generally not a good idea to tell important secrets to someone you haven't known long enough to make that call with.

First off, see what happens. If they don't tell anybody, you don't need to worry.