Q&A for How to Make Yourself Not Love Someone

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How do you get over someone you still love?

Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP
Clinical Therapist
Rebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is also a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers.

Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP

Clinical Therapist

Expert Answer

Talk with your ex so you can get closure. Closure is an important, valuable way to help you feel like you have a voice and the opportunity to discuss some of the unfinished business between you and your partner. Go into this conversation with a goal in mind, so you understand a little more about your inner thoughts and feelings related to the relationship. Stick to the goal of the conversation; this way, your needs are being met, and the conversation can remain productive.

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Question

Is it normal to be scared to love someone?

Community Answer

Yes, it's normal to be scared to love someone because you know deep down there is a chance you could be hurt or rejected in the process. But it's important to put these fears aside and love anyway. Otherwise you'll be missing out on one of the best parts of life.

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Question

What do I do if my ex still loves me but I don't love my ex?

Community Answer

Tell them that it's over and stop taking their calls, responding to their texts, etc. It will be much easier for both of you if it's a clean break. They will get over it eventually.

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How can I accept that the relationship is over if I still love my ex?

Community Answer

Don't stay in contact with your ex. Write down all the reasons your relationship wasn't working, and refer to that list whenever you are missing your ex.

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How do I not love someone when I'm obsessed with them?

Community Answer

It’s infatuation, not love. We have all gone through this. The best way to get over it is to avoid them for a while (as much as you might not want to). Distract yourself with other things and it'll get easier with time.

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Is it possible that having a crush on someone can make your life hard?

Community Answer

Yes, it is possible. But the more you keep it to yourself, the more it makes your life harder. So, try asking your crush on a date.

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What if I've fallen in love with my cousin?

Community Answer

Remember that we can't date anyone who is related to us by blood. Try to find out what made you fall for your cousin. Your cousin might have a heartwarming smile, or have a caring personality and other reasons.Then use those traits to help you find someone else similar and fall for that person. Besides that, you can try to distance yourself from your cousin, give yourself time to move on and also wish your cousin and yourself to be able to find true love.

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How do I keep from falling in love with people I meet on the internet?

Community Answer

Remember that you don't know this person. Everyone seems great on the internet, because they're carefully curating their personality to present the best side of themselves. The person you think you know on the internet is actually a total stranger and could be anybody. That is not an appropriate way to fall in love. If you feel yourself developing feelings for someone online, put some distance between yourself and that person for awhile. Meet some people in real life.

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