Q&A for How to Speak at a Funeral

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What do you say when you speak at a funeral?

David I. Jacobson
Funeral Home Director
David I. Jacobson is the founder of Chicago Jewish Funerals, an independent Jewish owned funeral provider that evolved into two funeral homes in the Chicagoland area. With over 30 years of experience serving families, David is a leading expert on Kavod Hamet, the Jewish traditions of honoring and respecting the dead. David is an active funeral director that serves people planning and in need of funerals, lecturing to congregations, community groups, and schools extensively about the values of the Jewish funeral as well as the dying process and the value of one’s legacy.

David I. Jacobson

Funeral Home Director

Expert Answer

Talk about your loved one and the relationship you had together. You can also talk about how they affected your life.

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Question

How can I say goodbye to a friend?

Community Answer

Talk about the memories you shared and how special your friend was.

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How do should I end my two minute speech at a funeral?

Flutasmoradas

Community Answer

Use a closing statement as advice for those listening to your speech.

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How do you not cry while giving a speech?

Community Answer

There is no shame in crying during a speech, but if you're worried about it, try to take deep breaths and bring a handkerchief up in case you need it.

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Question

What if I don't know the deceased?

Kitkattheactress

Community Answer

You can always fake it, ask people about them or look them up. That said, you shouldn't speak if you didn't know them, and you should tell the family.

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If the original speaker gets too emotional to carry on and calls me up (even though I didn't know the deceased well), what do I do?

Community Answer

You could say that you don't know enough about the person and can't make a speech about him\her. Kindly say, "No thank you. I didn't know him\her very well."

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WHAT IF U ONLY KNOW THE WORST PART OF THE DECEASED

Community Answer

In that case, it's probably better not to speak at the funeral at all. If anyone asks you to, just politely say, "I'm sorry, I'm not comfortable doing that."

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