Q&A for How to Stop Being Racist

You can try voicing your concerns to the person who made the racist comment. If that seems too difficult, you could voice your concerns to your friend, and maybe the two of you can have an open conversation with the person who made the comment. See the "working with others" section of this article for tips.

Yes. That phrase is factually wrong -- people can make mistakes, redeem themselves, and go their entire lives without ever repeating those mistakes. As long as you've learned from racist comments you've made in the past and avoided repeating them again, then I wouldn't worry.

Don't let one mistake stop you from having good interactions with other people. Just smile and try to listen more than you talk. It may be a little uncomfortable at first, but so are lots of things that are worth doing. Your mistakes don't define you; it's how you respond to them.

You're not racist - you can wear whatever is comfortable to you! Anyone accusing you of racism for that is being ridiculous. Some people find cultural appropriation to be offensive, e.g., when white people dress up like Native Americans for fun or when people wear something that's normally worn for religious purposes just to be 'fashionable'. But that's different than finding something from another culture to be useful, and using it. Everyone everywhere does that to some degree, and it's a good thing! It's no more 'racist' to wear a Chinese-style straw hat than it is to eat Chinese food, or than it is for people in China to wear Western-style clothing that obviously originated from outside their country. If you were wearing it as some cultural statement/stereotype - like, "Hey, look, I'm a Chinese person, haha!" - then it could maybe be considered racist.

Yes - everybody can be racist. Some people believe that there are power structures in place that prevent minorities from being racist, but that is not the generally accepted definition of the word. Someone is racist if they discriminate against someone on the basis of their race due to believing that their race is superior.

Spend time talking with people in the culture you're prejudiced against. The more you see people of a race as individuals with the same basic wants and needs as us, the more your prejudice will abate.

Everyone is a person and worthy of dignity and respect. Think of everyone you encounter as an individual and not a member of a group. Once we recognize individuals as human beings, with individual thoughts, feelings and experiences, we grow, and learn to shed these negative connotations.

You can't. People are individuals and will do as they please, even if others find it offensive. You can say things such as, "Hey, saying that is offensive to some people. I think you need to think about what you just said."

This is a tricky subject because many people have a connotative definition of the word racism where only the people in power (which is typically the majority group, which are whites in most of the English-speaking world) can hurt the people under them. With that definition, it is impossible, in their minds, for the "oppressors" to become oppressed themselves, which results in the assumption that all whites are racist, or perhaps, that all racists are white. However, believing that the whole of a certain race believes a certain way actually is racist, too, according to the denotative, dictionary definition of the word. So yes, anyone can be racist, not just whites.

It's not racist as long as you do not think those women are inferior or less of a human based on their race. It's normal to have preferences and like certain qualities in a person. Everyone has their preferences when it comes to romantic and sexual attraction. It's important to know, though, that people of all races are valuable and equal.

By finding black people you're not afraid of. Look for the people with the best human qualities (people with the closest interests and values to you, people who suit you best) across all skin colors. If it's too tough to find them in the area you live (very bad neighborhood in the city with very violent racial tensions), look for them in the media, or even better, find yourself a pen pal on any social network. That works for elimination of prejudices about any race, nationality, sex, sexual orientation, etc. The general rule is: the more you interact with interesting and reasonable people of different backgrounds, the more tolerant you become, and thus, the less scared of "aliens" you are.

Ask them if other people were racist about them, how would they feel. Ask them if they'd be offended, ask them if they'd like it. Tell them good things about the people they are racist about, praise them in front of the racist person. Make a plan together with the person they are racist about to do something nice for the racist person so they could change their opinions about them.

Read up on the history of the n-word, and why it's harmful. Whenever you're singing along to a song with the n-word in it, try substituting a harmless word, like "person" (which has the same amount of syllables, so you won't loose your rhythm). Try to pay attention to your usage of the word. When you catch yourself about to say it, stop. Take a breath, and then reword what you were going to say. If you do say it, apologize immediately, and say "I know this is a really bad habit, and I'm working hard on changing it. I'm really sorry if I upset you." Show understanding and empathy to anyone you upset. Finally, forgive yourself and keep working on it. Changing a bad habit can be difficult work, and gaining more awareness is half the battle. You're doing great!

The people that follow the customs and practices of said culture decide the ownership of their culture. Fundamentally, this is because the adherents are the ones who cannot escape the consequences of being part of their culture. For example, Native Americans were not allowed to wear traditional dress or speak their language for over 100 years. The value of their culture was eliminated by oppressors and they could not help it. When a white person wears a Native American headdress to Coachella, they are disrespecting Native American people and the oppression they went through by relegating their tradition to a fashion fad.

It depends on how you're doing it. It's okay to use it to check yourself, like pausing to think "Would I make this assumption if that person were white?" or "Would I treat a white person the same way?" It may be a handy litmus test for checking your attitudes or actions. However, if you need to constantly imagine people as white, that might be a sign of unconscious prejudice. You may also be vulnerable to "colorblind racism," such as when people say "I don't see you as black!" Make sure that you're teaching yourself to view all races and skin tones as good and worthy of respect. So it can be a useful litmus test, but if you have to rely on it, it may be a sign of some hidden prejudices you need to unpack. And remember: not being racist is a skill, and you can get better at it over time!

That completely depends on the situation. First, be sure that the person's words or behaviors are actually motivated by racist attitudes: it can be easy to jump to conclusions here, so if there's any ambiguity, try to assume the best. Secondly, if you can find it in your heart to do so, be understanding. There was a time when you didn't know as much as you do now as well. That said DON'T tolerate abuse. With dignity and compassion, set that person straight if you can.

Learn from her mistakes. Watch her actions and take note of the reactions of others -- racism will always make you unpopular. If you catch yourself doing those things, don't beat yourself up about it. Notice them, make note of the thoughts or actions in your head, and work against your prejudices in the future whenever you have the opportunity.

Cultural appropriation is an act of entitlement. If you do not belong to that culture, you are not entitled to pretend that you do. It's particularly offensive if the culture you are appropriating has a history of being oppressed or colonized by the culture you actually belong to. The short answer is - it doesn't belong to you.

The next time you have one of those thoughts, pause. Ask yourself "Where did this come from? Why am I thinking this way?" Did you learn it from somewhere? Did you make a logical flaw, like making a generalization about a group based on an individual? Is it a stereotype from the media? Everyone thinks bad things from time to time, and as long as you aren't acting on those thoughts, no harm has been done. Sometimes your thoughts come from things you've seen or heard, and thus aren't reflections on your character. Just keep challenging those thoughts, thinking about where they came from, and choosing to stay respectful and kind of other people. Your worst moments don't define your character. What matters is how you handle them.

Start a group that protests against racism. Encourage people to join it. Also, try to expose yourself to people from different countries and cultures. Perhaps the simplest way is to love your neighbor (whoever that neighbor may be) as yourself. If everyone did that, we wouldn't have a problem with racism.

You should understand that one event or group doesn't define an entire ethnic group. Its easy for the human mind to take a single event or group or statement and use it to paint a generalization towards a much larger whole and it takes effort to override this. Make sure you're not getting biased information. You can't believe everything that you read. There are really no major political movements that are "targeting whites." Try to educate yourself on the opinions and experiences of the other side of the political spectrum.

Then you'll have to deal with being wrong. Of course white privilege exists. For example, in the US, the average white child goes to better schools than children of color do, Congress is made up of mostly white people, and white ex-convicts are more likely to be hired than black people without a criminal record. Your belief, or lack thereof, won't change the facts. It's hard to understand what it can feel like for a person of color if you aren't one. Limited research, or research done in bad faith, isn't always enough. It can take months or years of learning to get a decent understanding of the many ways racism impacts society. Having white privilege doesn't mean your life is or has been easy. It just means that racism isn't one of the things making it harder. Try to be empathetic towards people who face these barriers.

Go to your students union and befriend some of the local students who know the area. If you have a band of friends who know the location well, you're doing well. Don't just hang out with your own kind. You'll live up to a stereotype if you do.

It's hard to fight against something that was habit for so long. Be nice, that's a good way to start. Then go big by making new friends you wouldn't have made before.

First, recognize that you may not be able to change their minds, so don't be discouraged if they seem resistant to you. The best thing you can do is just educate others on why their beliefs, words, positions, etc. are racist. Don't back down and be sure that you can back up your statements with evidence.

As long as you are not using said items for profit, or taking them out of context, you are okay. Some things can still be viewed as offensive by the culture from which you are borrowing, so be aware of that.

Accept the fact that not everyone is going to like you. That's a given. It's just a fact of life, regardless of race. However if it's racially-motivated animosity and it is really causing you to feel bad about yourself as a person, do some research about all the positive accomplishments of people of your race. Take all that in an don't let someone's faulty perception of make you feel bad about yourself. That's how the racists win.

That person may or may not know that he/she is portraying racist ideals so do not become defensive and rude to that person but rather calmly and politely explain to them why the costume is racist and tell them how your feel about it. Try to reason with them. Remember to be polite when confronting the person and do not verbally abuse them, otherwise the person may feel that you are attacking them and retaliate negatively. If the person does become defensive,do not continue the conversation as it's best not to start a fight.

Remember that you aren't doomed to be racist. You had a setback, that's all. You met some really bad apples, and started making generalizations. Be cautious about creating prejudices from statistics. For example, young white men are much more likely to commit mass shootings, but does that mean that you should start hating and fearing all young white men? Of course not! Keep in mind that lots of factors can impact crime statistics, like poverty, unfair policing, unfair sentencing. (For example, if your mother couldn't afford life-saving medicine like insulin, you might steal things too.) Work on recognizing the difference between a few bad apples and an entire group being bad. Look for friends with integrity, regardless of skin tone, and challenge any prejudiced thoughts that float through your head. Finally, keep in mind that pessimism can be a side effect of going through a rough time. If you're friendless, lonely, or struggling, consider talking to a counselor for some extra help getting through this rough patch.

Being racist is wrong, and the first step in changing is recognizing racism in yourself and others, which you are doing. Stand up to your dad when he is being racist or prejudiced. You can talk to a therapist about the changes you are trying to make.