Q&A for How to Stop Being a Loser

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  • Question
    What if everyone at my school dislikes who I am? Should I change myself then?
    Community Answer
    The people in school will not be in your life forever so even if they dislike you, remember that it's temporary. The only reason you should change is if people dislike you because you are harming others (you're a bully, rude, a gossip, etc.).
  • Question
    I am not good at anything. How can I change my personality?
    Community Answer
    You don't have to change your personality to develop a talent. Join a friend who has a hobby or activity he or she is passionate about and see if you like it. Keep exploring with different friends and family members until you find something that excites and interests you.
  • Question
    What if I'm ugly?
    Community Answer
    Believe it or not, confidence is the key. Great personality, manners, and good conversation skills are all you need, really. You have to embrace your insecurities and look for the good that is inside of you and how you can use that to your advantage.
  • Question
    Why do people bully me about my sexuality?
    Community Answer
    It's impossible to say why certain people bully others about particular things, but this can often occur as a result of insecurity, a bigoted environment growing up, bad experiences with that type of person, etc.
  • Question
    What if I have a really awkward past, and people think I am both arrogant and a loser?
    Community Answer
    Just try to be less arrogant and more friendly and polite with people. After a while, they will see that you've changed. Keep in mind that you can't please everyone, so don't worry too much what other people think.
  • Question
    How can I stop being a loser that everyone bullies?
    Community Answer
    You need to keep your head up high and be confident in yourself. The only reason you're getting bullied is because people can sense that you feel weak and insecure. Imagine yourself as much stronger and tougher than you really believe you are. Fake it 'til you make it.
  • Question
    What if no way of dressing makes me look good or feel confident? I am in shape and exercise regularly.
    Community Answer
    You have to find your style and try not to let others influence the way you dress. It is, however, a good idea to go shopping with a close friend to help you find what you like.
  • Question
    I have anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, social issues, and an eating disorder. What is a good way for me to make friends?
    Community Answer
    First of all, I hope you're getting help for this issues, ideally seeing a therapist on a regular basis. Secondly, you can make friends like anyone else. Talk to people around you and try to find common interests. Push yourself out of your comfort zone and talk to strangers. You never know who might become a great friend. You might also consider joining a support group for people suffering from one of the issues you mentioned, as it might be nice to have a friend or two that really understands where you're coming from.
  • Question
    How do I stop being a loser if I have no positive qualities and I can't talk to anyone about it?
    Community Answer
    Everyone has positive qualities, no matter how insignificant. A loser does not love themselves, and that is their only defining quality. Learn to accept yourself and that will be enough. Also, I'm sure there is someone in your life you can talk to. If you're a kid/teen, visit your school counselor. If you're an adult, consider seeking out a therapist or other mental health professional.
  • Question
    What should I do if I have trouble talking with people?
    Community Answer
    Start small, by talking to friends and family confidently, more loudly, more boldly. Say "hi" to people as you pass them. Learn to know that not everyone is judging you or hates you. If you like a person in school, say "Hi"; don't say anything else, just say hi, that thrill will get you more confidence. Then start saying "how are you?" and let the other person lead the conversation. Bring a friend so they can lead the conversation if it dies.
  • Question
    What if I have more negative traits than positive traits when I think of myself?
    Community Answer
    Then it is the time to change what you dislike about yourself and focus on developing your positive traits.
  • Question
    What if the reason I'm a loser is because of the hobby I do?
    Community Answer
    People's hobbies don't make them losers. Don't let the criticism of others keep you from doing what you enjoy. Find positive people who enjoy the same hobbies and interests, and don't make any time in your life for people who don't have anything better to do than judge what you like.
  • Question
    How do I stop cracking bad jokes that do not make sense?
    Community Answer
    It is likely you feel nervous or anxious in the situation and either want to appear funny or set the situation on fire so it cannot get any worse. Try keeping abreast of interesting books, news or TV show tidbits for conversation you can offer when you feel a bad joke coming. The Skimm offers Cliff Notes on current daily news. Find a funny meme to mention or ask a question about someone else's thoughts on something you find interesting.
  • Question
    How do I get a boy who friend-zoned me to like me? I'm so confused. It just seems that everything I do makes it worse!
    Sophia Feria
    Community Answer
    If there's a boy who doesn't like you, it is best to just let it be. While it hurts to get rejected, it wouldn't be fair to you or him if you were in a relationship that was based on making someone like you by changing the things you do or changing your personality. It doesn't mean that your personality is bad in any way, it just means your personality doesn't work well with his, which is completely fine! One day you will find someone who likes you for you and you won't have to change anything for them to like you.
  • Question
    What do I do if no one likes me?
    Community Answer
    There’s always going to be someone who’ll love you for you. Sometimes you just have to find your people. Never lose hope. Social media can help if you want to find someone who has the same interests as you. Discord is a nice place to meet people, Disboard is a place where you can join Discord Servers. Never lose hope, don’t stop being you.
  • Question
    My mom calls me fat, and it's making me self-conscious. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    The next time she says this, you could say something like, "I don't like it when you call me fat. it makes me feel bad about myself / it makes me self-conscious." Also, talk to her about ideas of perfection and point out that everyone has different ways of being in this world and it's unhelpful to be critical. If this doesn't work, the best thing to do is to build up your self-esteem so that even when people say bad things about you, you can still be happy with yourself. Try listing things that you love about yourself, think positively about yourself, and be confident in who you are. Don't think negative thoughts or try to change yourself or go on unhealthy diets.
  • Question
    What if I have a negative reputation because I was violent toward my girlfriend and cheated on her?
    Community Answer
    Sincerely apologize to her. Whether she wants to continue the relationship is up to her. Either way, do better next time.
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