Q&A for How to Talk in an Arranged Marriage Meeting

The reason may be that the girl wants to be at home, caring and taking care about her husband or husband family or maybe taking care of the house. Talk to her about this and find out what her reasons are, then give your reasons as to what you'd hope she might consider doing.

No. But I suppose if your parents are strictly for this kind of matchmaking, it may give them a peace of mind, and ultimately, indirectly, make your married life more successful (as they will be less likely to regret the match).

Go with your heart. That's not long to know someone before getting married, but no one can force you into it if that is not what you want.

First and foremost be yourself, be confident, speak out honestly, all the condition from both ends. Be polite to her and i she asks about your interest,hobbies, go for it.

Ideally, yes. Both people should be flexible in their attitudes toward work/child care and this should be up to the couple to decide what will work for them. However, for many cultures where arranged marriages are the norm, it is most common for the men to work and the women to raise the children for a number of reasons. The point the article is making is that you should be clear about your expectations and how flexible you are willing to be.

If you notice anything suspicious or they seem desperate, they might be hiding something. If you are sure of the guy, you can get engaged first and convince them to postpone the wedding to your preferred date. Try to get the guy's perspective on why they might be hurrying things if you can speak to him without his family present. If you have any hesitation about the guy, don't agree to the marriage.

Your first meeting should be an easy one, keep it simple by not asking any serious questions about the future etc. You can ask about work, hobbies, etc.

You cannot know or thoroughly check out any person through video calls (or even in person) within few minutes of meeting. It takes months together to know a person. Just try to get to know the other person's interests. You can convey your interests as well to elaborate the conversation.

Can you talk to him directly and ask? You might suggest a health check-up for the purpose of setting your mind and heart at ease. Your other option is to get in touch with the guy's relatives/friends, though that could be awkward if word got back to him (especially if you didn't ask him first).

Ask her about her hobbies and her interests. What's her favorite movie? Her favorite shows? Is she into any sports?

There is no ideal age difference because the best couple is one that thinks along the same wavelength, has similar interests, communicates, and spends time with one another. If you do not feel the age difference is a barrier to a good relationship, then the age difference does not matter.

Any girl in that situation would be hesitant, so that is not a factor in your decision. Did you like her? Her looks, sure, but that's only superficial. Her behavior, posture, eyes? Did you feel any desire to be near her? Those are the factors that you might better base your decision upon.

Honesty is not always the way to go; be nice. Say something like, "I truly don't feel this is the right match for me."

Ask how she feels about this marriage. Does she want to get married? What does she think of your son? Ask what she expects from the marriage. Ask if she has questions, answer them honestly, then get her opinion of your answers. Tell her what you think, as well as what your son thinks/expects/etc. Then ask how she feels about that part too.

Keep it small at first, read her reactions and never push beyond any boundaries. Pull back after the first few conversations. If she liked your attention, she'll come talk to you. If she didn't, she'll respect you for leaving her in peace. You always win if you retreat.

Have in mind the questions you want to ask beforehand. Practice a little in front of a mirror as well. In the first meeting, ask light-hearted questions about her interests and her goals rather than scrutinizing her past. If the first meeting goes well, you will have time to ask more questions in future meetings.

It is not a comparison. If you have meetings setup with 10 girls, for example, you always choose yes or no for that girl and that girl alone. If you said no for girls 1, 2 and 3, then when you see 4 you want to reconsider about 2, it's too late. You don't keep someone as a 'maybe' just to see if you can't find anything better. If you think you can find better, go look for it and forget all others. If you want to go for someone, let nothing stand in your way.

First impressions are always important, so you'll want to dress to impress. Show them that you're taking the arrangement seriously by dressing up in nice clothing. Go for a look that is simple, yet sophisticated so you don't look like you're trying too hard. If you're a man, some well-fitting slacks, a collard shirt, and a nice pair of shoes should do the trick. For a woman, a nice dress that isn't too short or too tight is always a safe bet.

Since you're getting to know her quickly before the wedding, take some time to make a list of things you want to learn about her such as questions about her family, work, finances, and religion, as well as personal questions like her taste in music, favorite foods, and movies that she loves. That way, you can get to know a lot about who she is and what she likes in a short amount of time. Start off with non-serious questions first to ease the tension and start the conversation. For instance, you could ask her what her favorite movie is and talk about it for a little while before you move on to other questions.

You'll want to dress up, but not so formal that it looks like you're trying too hard or is over the top for the occasion. A nice dress that isn't too short or too tight is a good choice. You can also go with a nice but comfortable pair of shoes and add some jewelry such as earrings, bracelets, and a necklace to tie your outfit together. You may also want to put on some makeup so he sees you looking at your best and you make a good impression.

The bride has her rights to deny a proposal. That's why it is called an arranged marriage. If you don't feel right about him and his conversations, speak with your family's deciding members in a way they'll understand and freely deny him. Your parents will convey the message to him. Or you can say so directly, if that's how you respond to proposals. Just say a positive and a mild negative something like, he is good in his studies but he is not the type you are looking for.

Your mother should go like an equal and speak clearly and amicably about the marriage proposal. Requesting or trying too hard might give them an edge and their strictness may turn even more strict. Let their communication be like any arranged marriage proposal, discussing and asking questions about the couple their education, work, interests, etc. Leave the rest to what they say.

Loving your spouse after an arrange marriage might not be typical romantic love. It might be more the type of love that is based on respect, culture, wanting to make a traditional family with the relationship to keep the family name running. Affection grows in mutual admiration. They both have to make an effort to love or else it won't happen.