Q&A for How to Tell Someone to Stop Flirting With You

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I made a big mistake and lashed out at the person and told them never to speak to me that way, and now I fear for my scholarship at school. I already told my teacher but I still have anxiety about it. What should I do?

Tom De Backer

Top Answerer

There shouldn't be any fear. If they flirted with you, and you didn't like it and then told them so, that's perfectly fine and you did the right thing. This is on a personal level. Your scholarship is on a professional level. They must keep the two separate. If they cancel or change your scholarship because of this, you have a solid reason to sue them in court. If it took lashing out to get them to stop, it may be that flirting had turned to harassment, which is another good grounds for a lawsuit.

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Question

There's this guy who is a natural flirt. He's admitted he is. I have certain standards and I don't think it would work out between us. What should I do?

Community Answer

He is not serious about you. Ignore him.

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There was a guy sitting at my table and every once in a while he would try to touch my shoulder. What do I do?

Community Answer

If you're not interested in him, move down so he isn't close enough to touch you. If he doesn't get the message, just say, "Please don't touch me." and leave it at that.

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There's a guy who keeps being nice to me at school. But I've rejected him twice now, and every time I'm not rude to him he gets the idea that I'm giving him another chance. What do I do?

Nothanks1

Community Answer

Tell him you're flattered but you are not interested, and him coming on to you is uncomfortable. Cut the friendship off if he still does not understand the boundaries you set.

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Question

Sometimes I flirt unknowingly. How do I know if I am flirting, and how do I stop?

Community Answer

If you don't intend it to be flirtatious, you're not being flirtatious. You're just being nice. Maybe learn to read social cues better.

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Question

How do I find a boyfriend?

Community Answer

Try to learn more about them as a person. If you connect, maybe you will find a boyfriend.

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What do I say when a girl has a boyfriend, but keeps touching me inappropriately?

Community Answer

Just be honest: let her know that you don't like the way she's touching you. Explain why so she knows exactly how you're feeling; if you think it's creepy, awkward, or scary, tell her. If she continues, you might want to consider talking to her boyfriend about it so he's aware of what his girlfriend's behavior is like when he's not around.

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Question

Should I tell my mom that her boyfriend came onto me or let it go?

Community Answer

You should tell your mom. If her boyfriend is coming onto you, then it's very possible he's coming onto other women, meaning he's potentially unfaithful to your mom. She deserves to know about his behavior so she can decide whether or not she wants to stay in a relationship with him.

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My boyfriend often complains that I don't pay that much attention to him. I've never been one to show my feelings, but I do love him a lot, am I being a bad girlfriend?

Community Answer

Find ways that you are comfortable being attentive and affectionate and focus on these. Tell him how you feel, and if there's something you're not comfortable doing, speak up. Sometimes in a relationship you have to do things that don't come easily, this is how we learn and grow, so try to make an effort.

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How do I learn to reject people automatically? I'm not asexual, but I never want to allow myself to date anyone, and I don't want to be impolite. How do I do it if they tell me they like me?

Community Answer

You can just say "I'm sorry, I'm not interested." Usually that's enough. You can tell them that you're flattered, or that you think they're great, but aren't in a good place to go out with them or don't have those kinds of feelings for them. If you know the person well, you can be honest and explain why you don't want to date anyone.

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What do I do if the flirter makes really bad jokes?

Community Answer

Don't laugh. Smile politely and make some excuse for getting away.

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What do I do if he is already in my car?

Community Answer

Drive the car back to where you picked him up and tell him how you feel. If you feel like he's not getting out of the car, get out yourself and tell him you're going somewhere and he has to leave.

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