Q&A for How to Tell Your Mom You Are Gay

Trust your guts. If deep down you don't think she's going to respond in a productive and supportive way, don't tell her. If you want to come out, tell someone you know you can trust. Whether it's an uncle, sibling, or whatever, you don't have to jump right to your mom if you're not comfortable with that.

You should never feel obligated to come out. Don't come out until you're ready. When you are ready, take deep breaths and remember that you are not alone.

No. Who you come out to (or not) and in what order is your choice and yours alone.

Give it time. Remember that there's not just gay and straight, you could be somewhere in between, or you could just be figuring yourself out. You're never too old or too young to do this, and remember that a person's sexuality can change over time.

Being gay isn't a disease, so there's no way to "cure" it. People delude themselves that "religion" will "fix" their kids. I'm sorry your mom is one of those people. On the upside, you'll meet lots of other gay people and may have a great time!

A lot of parents will say something like that at first, but they usually become more understanding with time. Just tell her. If she says you're confused, tell her you aren't, that you've been thinking about this for a while. Then just give her some time to get used to the idea.

Support her!

Tell the parent you trust the most first, then ask him or her to help you come out to your other parent. Having someone there with you while you come out might be both comforting and reassuring.

Your sexuality isn't a choice, it's part of who you are. Your sexuality, whether it be anything, is just like your eye color - people may not always see it, but it's there for you to lay your eyes upon. Once you decide that is the right thing for you, it's important to accept it and learn to love yourself, no matter what.

Think it over and plan it. Then you just feel it. When you and your mother are alone, or when she's in a particular good mood, or when the conversation has gone quiet, that might be the right time to seize the opportunity.

If you have already discussed your sexuality with your mom, she should be open to hearing about your discovery. Set aside time to have a conversation with her or wait for the subject to come up naturally. You can also write a letter or find another creative way to tell her.

Look for an LGBTQ+ group in your community or online for advice and support.

Make sure you tell your mom you don't want anyone else to know yet, if that's how you feel.

Prepare for this ahead of time. Ask another family member or a friend's parents if you could possibly stay with them temporarily. If you can't find anywhere to stay, postpone coming out until you're sure you can do so safely.

First of all, if there is a chance they will disown you, have a contingency plan in place for where you will go. You never know how they will react until you tell them though. Just break it to them gently, tell them it's not a choice, it's not a phase, you've always been this way and you're still the same son/daughter that you've always been. Give them some time and space to get used to the idea and they might surprise you. If you're really anxious try talking it over with another more accepting family member first and ask them for advice.

If you think your family won't accept you, don't come out. It's not worth the risk. Stay safe. You can try dropping hints (basically mention LBGTQ issues while talking), and see how they react. If they react positively, you can come out. If not, wait until you have a stable job and your own place before you come out.

Say to her: "This is who I am and you can't change that". Say it in a nice way then give her some room so she can take it all in.

Any age, as long as you are comfortable with the decision.

It depends on what you're comfortable with. If you think your parents might have a negative reaction, or them knowing would make things difficult for you, I would advise keeping it a secret. As for your friend, try to figure out if he is gay too! Bring up LGBT issues and/or famous gay people/couples and see how he reacts. If you think he is accepting, try hinting that you are gay or at least tell him you are questioning.

You don't need to tell them if it's going to cause problems for you at home. Wait until you aren't dependent on your parents before you tell them.

It sounds like she has conflicting feelings about it. Maybe something happened to her in the past that caused her to have a bad opinion of gay people, even though she knows it isn't right to judge. I can't tell you what would happen to your relationship for sure. If you're not quite ready to come out, you could try saying something like, "Mom, it makes me uncomfortable when you say things like that about gay people because I know some nice gay people at school." See how she responds and go from there.

If this is a real question, you have a real problem. If you are 18 or over, you should move away as soon as you can so you can have your own life and don't have to worry about your parents hurting your loved ones. If you are under 18, you need to be very careful to keep your crush/boyfriend safe.

If you haven't seen any signs of homophobia with your family, try bringing up the subject and have a conversation about it.

If you are straight, then you don't have to come out.

Just because you are not fully sexually developed yet doesn't mean you don't know that you're gay. Ask your mom how old she was when she started developing feelings for guys or "knew" she was straight. She was probably younger than 12. There is no magical solution to this problem, your mom is in denial and you really just have to wait for her to accept that this is the way things are.

Tell him and then run away, that's what I did. Or text him and tell him as you leave town for a trip. You may be surprised at his ability to accept you for who you are if you give him time to process it. But if you fear for your safety, don't tell him, or make sure someone you trust is with you.

Most anxieties are basically rooted in uncertainty against the unknown and prejudices. Homophobia may be due to too little information. Often phobias quickly disappears when faced with it. Therefore, it is a good idea to help your family to understanding and insight. This can be done through books and websites. In addition, it is important that you talk with your family and explain how you feel and try to answer the questions they might have and try to understand why they have difficulties with homosexuality. That way you can refute their prejudices and have an equal talk. It is important that you stand by your sexuality and that you express this, no matter what your family say.

No, it's not bad to think you are/be a lesbian at any age, and you should not listen to anyone who tells you otherwise. The only downside to you realizing this at such a young age is that people will likely tell you that it's a phase or that you're too young to know. Be cautious about who you tell (some people are not accepting), and be patient with people who may not believe you, even if it's frustrating.

Yes. It's just as valid a medium as face-to-face, and means you can prepare exactly what you're going to say, AND you don't need to see her first reaction (some people have bad first reactions that they immediately regret).

Imagine yourself kissing someone of the same gender, then imagine yourself kissing someone of the opposite gender. Compare the two. If you like kissing the same gender experience the most, you are homosexual. If you like the opposite gender experience the most, you are heterosexual. If you like both experiences, then you are most likely bisexual.