Q&A for How to Tell if Your Guy Friend Is Gay

Well, you just ask. Before talking with someone about their sexuality, though, ask yourself why you want to know this, and why it matters to you. If you are inquiring due to a desire to find connection or from a place of empathy or support, these are good indicators that your question is more likely to be well received and possibly helpful as opposed to harmful or hurtful.

Because that is what friends do. It does not at all mean that he's gay. And so what if he is? Gay guys need friends, too.

The only way to tell for sure is if he tells you. If he is flirting with you, there is a good possibility that he is attracted to you, though.

No. The only thing that makes you gay is being attracted to people of the same gender.

No. The only way you're gay is if you feel romantic, sexual, and/or intimate feelings to men specifically.

It is possible. You may want to consider why he is lying or making up excuses. He might be afraid of how you will treat him if he admits to being gay, or he may just not be ready to be 'out' yet. For some gay people, it is very difficult to accept one's own sexuality, especially if they grew up being told that it's terrible to be gay, and even if other people are accepting they are still ashamed to admit it because of this. It's also possible that he just isn't gay and you are mistaken. Either way, it's probably annoying him if you keep asking or insisting that he's gay; I would suggest that you leave it alone.

Don't ask, and try not to assume. Just give him space. If your son is gay, hopefully he will tell you in his own time.

It's a touchy subject for many people. If your friend gets defensive, you can try reassuring them that you aren't judging them at all and that you have no problem with them being gay if they are, but if they still seem reluctant to talk about it, back off and drop the subject.

Find a right time to talk to him about your crush on him, knowing full well he might be gay. Be patient and don't push him too hard to like you, respecting his choice and being completely understanding of anything he has to tell you. If he doesn't like you that way, it's okay, as there are lots of guys out there. Don't treat it as a rejection either, it's just a fact of life and you're not expected to know.

You can and should never judge a person's sexual orientation based on how they look.

If you like it, then enjoy it! If you don't, then gently (but assertively) make it clear that you're not interested in him romantically and would like him to stop.

Assuming he wasn't joking, then probably, but you should let him know if this kind of comment/request makes you uncomfortable so he will stop in the future.

Maybe he was just curious, or he could be asking it because he's gay and wanted to know if you are, too.

You should forget him and find you a nice gay man!

He could be gay, but there are also straight men who make jokes like this. If he actually has had sex with his male friends, he might not necessarily be gay, he could be bisexual, or he could identify as straight and just have decided to experiment.

You could confront your friend and ask him about it. You could also just leave it, if he wants to come out to you he may want to do it on his own terms. Him being bisexual doesn't change the fact that he likes you.

Go ahead and tell him that you've got a little crush on him. He may be interested. If he isn't, play it cool and go back to being friends.

He could be, but there are a lot more straight people who hate gays than there are closeted gay people who hate gays.

There is no cure; being gay is not a disease. I'm sorry you're struggling, but understand that you're normal; your sexuality is okay. You're not a bad person and you deserve to love and be loved just like everyone else. I hope you find a support system and learn to accept yourself.

Just be patient and wait. You will figure it out over time. There is no urgent need to label yourself. Living honestly and doing what makes you happy is what's important. If someone asks, you can just be honest and say you're still figuring it out.

This depends on the type of relationship you want with him. While sex is a big part of a healthy relationship, relationship are more than just sex. Try talking to him openly and honestly about how you feel, but never ever force him or anyone into having sex if it isn't what they want.

Many straight young men have piercings in a variety of places, including their nose. You can't tell if someone is gay from something like this.

If he is, in fact, gay, continue being friends with him. His sexuality does not hurt you.

Honestly, just ignore them. As long as you know what you are, that's the only thing that matters.

Don't snoop on him, it's very intrusive. Although he may be your husband and you expect him to tell you everything, some things are hard to talk about. Ask him about it. He may be trying to figure out a way to tell you and if you bring it up that will relieve some of his worry. Open communication is key.

You need to trust your partner to make their own decisions about their sexuality and not assume things about them.

Not all gay people fit into stereotypes. It's possible that he told you about his other friends calling him gay because he wanted to see what you'd say. Gay people often try to feel someone out before coming out to them to see how they react to the subject. Ultimately, it's up to him to decide when he's ready to tell people he's gay. He might not even be sure himself yet, and for that matter, he might not be gay at all. Just focus on being a supportive friend.

There is a stereotype that women like to shop, and a stereotype that all gay men are feminine. So many people assume gay men like to go shopping. Of course, these stereotypes are not universally true at all - not all women like to shop, not all gay men are effeminate, and whether or not they are effeminate does not determine how much they enjoy shopping.

Make plans alone with your friend in a space that you feel comfortable in, then tell him you have something to say and you hope he will understand. After you tell him, you can ask if he has any questions, and if he is your true friend, he will support you.

Not necessarily. Being single does not equal being gay. Some men are bisexual, or are even asexual--meaning they don't find anyone attractive! They could also just hate the idea of being in a committed relationship. Chances are, he's straight, but he just hasn't found anyone yet.