Q&A for How to Understand Gay and Lesbian People

Try to figure out what barriers are preventing you from accepting your child's sexuality. You can look at this from a spiritual, cultural, or societal lens. Try to remember that queerness has existed throughout history, and that your child isn't weird or different—they're actually part of a long lineage of queer ancestors. There are millions and millions of kids who identify as queer and live super long, healthy, and happy lives.

Remember he didn't become bi yesterday. He's been like this for a while now, and your friendship never suffered because of it, so why should it now? Of course, knowing it makes it a little awkward, but it doesn't have to. Just let him know you're glad he trusted you with how he feels, and keep enjoying your friendship. It takes time for the awkwardness to go away, but that's normal. Treat it like finding out what color T-shirt he's wearing under his sweater: the color has the same impact on your friendship as the being bi thing - zero.

People of all sexual preferences watch anime. And it is also not "weird" to watch anime, or to be gay.

Some are, some aren't, just like straight people. It's impossible to make such a broad generalization.

No. Accept her for who she is, love her, and don't treat her any differently than you did before you found out, but it is still your house and you are entitled to setting your own rules and boundaries. If you wouldn't allow your daughter's boyfriend to sleep in her room, you don't have to allow her girlfriend to do so. Just be consistent and make sure you're not acting out of prejudice.

Let him know you're there for him, and that you accept him for who he is. Make sure he knows that he can come to you if he needs someone to talk to.

It's up to you. You can tell him you're just not interested, you're already seeing someone, he's not your type, or you can just say that you're gay (if you are).

Understand that all people are different and unique and there's nothing wrong with that. It's natural for you to be upset about such a big change in your life, but try to understand that your mom is a person too, and she shouldn't pretend to be someone she's not. Maybe try being happy for your mom that she's found out who she really is.

If you believe that you will hurt her with your words or attitude, you should consider if it's really a good idea to see her. Your happiness should not be a detriment to her happiness. However, if you still want to see her, remember, not agreeing with someone is not an excuse to be aggressive or impolite, so, try to accept her for what she is, after all she clearly is important to you. Educate yourself about the gay community. Your granddaughter's innate identity is not "behavior" for you to "deal with" - it's who she is, was, and (most likely) always will be.

Your sexuality does not affect your happiness. Gay people are still people. They are exactly like you but are just attracted to another gender. They can feel sad, depressed, or angry if they are discriminated against for being gay, however.

It's up to you. If you feel the need to tell her, go ahead. Tell her you understand she can't reciprocate your feelings but you just wanted to let her know how you feel. And eventually you should try to get over this because nothing will come of it (assuming you're a boy).

Yes, of course. That person may identify as bisexual, pansexual, polysexual, or maybe they just don't want to label their sexual orientation, which is also completely valid.

You can't. That's who he is, you can't change him; you might need to consider going separate ways.

Of course! It can be very surprising. Just be very supportive!

That one is up to you. Is it something you WANT to do? If you want to, and you know your parents are not homophobic, then go for it. If they are homophobic, take caution and approach the subject gently. If you are in fear of being attacked or disowned, it is wiser to wait until you are moved out and in a stable safe environment before doing so. Just remember that no one is rushing you or pressuring you to come out. Just take your time and think carefully.

Offer support for her, tell her you understand why she feels the way she does, and gently explain to her about your sexual identity.

People may not understand gay people or believe it is natural because of the way they were brought up and lack of exposure.

The best way is to educate them, help them understand that it's perfectly okay for their son to be gay. You should generally act like it's no big deal (because it isn't).

Let them know that you understand and appreciate what they feel for you. Then, politely say that you can't return those feelings, but that you still want to maintain the friendship.

First, tell him about your sexual orientation and see how he reacts. Don't tell him right away how you feel. Take it slow. If that first conversation goes well, try paying him subtle compliments, making flirtatious comments, touching his hand or leg in conversation, etc. and see how he reacts to these. If it seems like you're getting the green light, go ahead and just tell him how you feel. Be patient.

There are different kinds of love. While a gay person may not romantically love women, they can have platonic loving relationships (friendships, family relationships) with women.

Being gay means only being attracted to the same sex. Being bisexual doesn't mean you have to be 50/50. You can prefer one or the other, but still be attracted to both.

You could inform your friends of your sexual orientation if you feel comfortable with doing so, however just make sure that they are accepting and supportive, maybe ask their view on LGBTQ+ rights before you do so.

You can't, and you shouldn't try. Being gay, bisexual, etc. is natural and people are generally born that way. You should accept people for who they are.

Not necessarily, though if you're male, you may want to consider the possibility that you find men sexually attractive.

Definitely. Nobody should feel rushed or forced into coming out, especially if there are concerns about a homophobic family member. When she is ready to tell him, you should offer to be there for the conversation if that would make it easier for her.

If I were you, I would first tell him, "Hey man, you shouldn't make fun of people just because they like the same sex." See how he reacts. If he is relatively respectful, it's probably safe to come out. If he continues making these jokes, maybe you should find more open-minded friends.

Pansexual: Attracted to all genders. Polysexual: Attracted to many, but not all genders.

It's not something you can "become." Either you're gay or you're not. If you aren't sexually attracted to people of the same sex, then you're not gay.

In some cases, they are picking up on their parents' homophobia. Kids are very perceptive. In other cases, kids just haven't been exposed to any gay people, and anything that is different can often be perceived as "weird." This is why it's important for parents to educate their kids about LGBTQ+ people and how they are just like everybody else.