How to Recognize Anxiety if You're Autistic

After considering your body, evaluate your own thoughts. Reflect on what you were just thinking about before you stopped.

1. 1
   Notice if you feel powerless or small. If you are anxious, you may feel that you have no control over what happens, and that you can't protect yourself or others from bad events.

   • Feeling powerless or overwhelmed may also be a sign of an oncoming meltdown or shutdown.
2. 2
   Consider if you were just thinking about something bad. If you were imagining how to respond to a negative situation, or worrying about something that could happen, this could make you stressed.

   • Is something bad going on, or did something bad just happen? (See the next section.)
   • Were you perseverating on a problem?
   • Were you thinking about a difficult situation or relationship in your life?
   • Were you thinking about a group of people who upset you, like racists or anti-autism organizations?
3. 3
   Notice if you're perseverating. Perseverating isn't always a bad thing, but it can be trouble if it hinders forward progress, or if it is making you upset. If you are perseverating on a problem—getting "stuck in a rut" and having trouble snapping out of it—this can be a sign of anxiety. ^[4]
4. 4
   See if you keep on focusing on "what if" or "how" ideas. A little "what ifs" can lead to creative problem-solving, but if you cannot rein them in, you have a problem. Focusing too much on the future can prevent you from staying calm in the present. Here are some examples of thoughts that can overtake you.

   • "What do I do if my social skills prevent me from holding down this job? How will I support a husband and kids someday?" (what ifs)
   • "How am I ever going to get my degree in time? I don't have the organization skills for a side job yet!" (hows)
   • "I can't believe I forgot the homework for the second time this month! I'm a terrible student! Maybe I'm too disabled for college after all..." (spiral of faulty logic)
5. 5
   See if you are "clinging" to a person, or staying in a certain area. You may stick to a place or person because they feel safe to you, and feel anxious about leaving them. (If this is a major pattern, it may be agoraphobia. ^[5] )

   • Following around a person (This includes constantly trailing behind your dad or big sister to avoid your homework. Just because they don't mind doesn't mean it's a good pattern.)
   • Avoiding leaving the house
   • Feeling/faking sick and wanting to avoid work/school
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Due to alexithymia, you may not realize that you experienced something stressful until later on. Delayed emotional reactions happen—you could be upset by something that happened just now, five minutes ago, half an hour ago, or yesterday.

1. 1
   Reflect on what you were just doing. Did you just witness something you consider bad or wrong? Have you just gone through something difficult? You may not have immediately realized that an experience was hard.

   • Were you reading/watching the news and hearing about sad things?
   • Did you just witness or fail to stop injustice (however small)?
   • Did your schedule abruptly change? Was somebody late when you were expecting them?
   • Did you undergo a rocky transition?
   • Were you on an anti-autism website?
2. 2
   Consider your most recent social interactions. Since autistic people can have trouble understanding social boundaries, you might not instinctively realize when someone else crossed them, and was being rude or mean to you.

   • Did you seem unable to get through to them?
   • Did they cut you off?
   • Did you feel at all small or insecure after the conversation, when you weren't before?
   • Did they make you feel that your feelings were invalid or unimportant?
   • Did they make you look bad in front of other people?
3. 3
   Think about your current workload. If you have a major project, or exam/evaluation coming up, the approaching date might make you nervous. Anxiety can also happen if you feel that you are falling behind, or that you put off your work too much.

   • Is it painful to think about your workload? Would you prefer to skip this step and keep reading?
   • Do you feel prepared?
   • Do you feel that your boss/professor/supervisor likes you, or at least feels neutral towards you?
   • How are your time management skills?
4. 4
   Consider any moderate or major life transitions you're going through. This might make you more stressed and anxious than usual.

   • Moving house
   • Changing jobs or schools
   • Losing friends or loved ones
   • End of a vacation
   • Independence milestones (first sleepover, first sleepaway camp, preparing for college, moving out of parents' house or supported living)
5. 5
   Consider the relationships in your life. Are any of them particularly strained? This may lead to stress in your life. Run through the major family, school/work, and therapy-related people in your lives.

   • Do you feel that they will listen to you if you have a problem?
   • Do they listen when you say no?
   • Do you feel on edge, worthless, or incompetent when you are around them?
   • Do they force compliance or do things that cause you physical pain (including sensory-related pain)?
   • Does a specific person come to mind as you read this list? (Someone may jump out right away. Or it may take deep thought to realize that some of these things are true.)
6. 6
   Consider additional stresses brought on by autism advocacy. If you are trying to change the culture with regards to autism, you may be fighting a difficult battle. Autistic people are often silenced and spoken over, which makes your job particularly difficult. ^[6] You must be careful to take care of yourself, because your empathy for other autistic people may make it difficult to handle the things you read. Be especially cautious when learning about the following:

   • Anti-autism rhetoric
   • ABA and destructive autism therapies, from chelation ^[7] to the Judge Rotenberg Center ^[8]
   • The exclusion of autistic adults from the autism discourse ^[9]
   • Self-absorbed parents whose attitude is belittling to their children
   • Therapies or techniques that personally harmed you
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