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Technology can be a positive, fun part of life. Many people, especially young adults, enjoy spending a lot of time online. Unfortunately, the digital world can have just as many dangers as the "real" world. Online predators are one of the greatest threats to your personal safety on the internet; they are people who exploit others for sexual or other harmful purposes. If you or someone you know regularly uses the internet, it is important to take steps to stay safe. It is vital that you learn the warning signs of predators and know what steps to take if you encounter one. If you learn the signs and use your common sense, you can continue to stay safe online.
Steps
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Learn common traits of predators. There are many characteristics that are typical of them- Generally, they are outgoing and engaging. Not all people who are outgoing and engaging are one, but some are. If you meet someone online who seems overly friendly, be cautious.
- They may use the Internet to develop a relationship with someone they know from the neighborhood, work, or school over a period of time, or actively target their prey.
- Be aware that they can be complete strangers or someone you actually know.
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Understand "grooming". It is the process of developing a relationship with someone in order to gain their trust. It can happen over a relatively short period of time, such as one conversation, or it can also occur over a longer period of a couple of weeks or even months. [1] X Research source- Predators can try to use many ways to gain someone's trust. For example, they can try to ask for information about them.
- They are typically adults but can be of any age. During the initial interactions, they might lie about their age in order to gain trust.
- If they learn that you play soccer, for instance, they might say something like, "Where do you play? I play every weekend. Which team are you on?" They will agree with you, but may not know the details of the topic, so ask them about details of what they claim is true.
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Be wary of requests to meet. When you are unsure who you are dealing with online, there are several specific things to look out for. Being aware of warning signs can help keep you and your family safe. After befriending someone, many online predators will ask for an in-person meeting. This is a red flag. [2] X Research source- If someone says, "I really need to meet you in person", be aware that could be a sign of a predator.
- Be especially cautious if there are repeated requests. If someone tries to insist on meeting you, you need to question their motives.
- Try saying, "I enjoy chatting online about school, but it's making me uncomfortable that you are pressuring me to meet. Would you mind cooling it?"
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Watch out for flattery. Online predators often try to establish a deep emotional connection with their prey using many tricks. They may offer compliments as a way to gain favor. Be wary of effusive flattery. [3] X Research source- If someone has pictures of themselves online, they might make unusual comments about their appearance. Make sure that only friends you know and trust can view your photos.
- Consider it a warning sign if someone says something like, "You're so pretty. I can get you a modeling contract."
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Identify suspicious behavior. Any statement that can be perceived as a threat is a warning sign. An online predator might try to scare a person into doing what they want. If someone threatens you, exit the site or chat room immediately.- A threat could be something like, "Don't tell your parents you've been talking to me. I'll find out."
- They could also threaten you by saying, "If you don't meet me, I'll tell your friends your secrets."
- A request for personal information is also suspicious. Do not give out your phone number or address.
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Look for changes in your child's behavior. Maybe you are concerned that they are being targeted by an online predator. There are several warning signs you can look for. Think about whether your child: [4] X Research source- Is secretive about online activities
- Seems obsessed with being online
- Tries to hide the screen from view when an adult enters the room
- Receives calls or texts from someone you don't know
- Downloads pornography and or makes their own pornography for the predator
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Talk to your child. If you are worried that they are interacting with a predator, your first step is to talk to them. Make it clear that you are worried, not angry. Ask them questions to determine what is going on.- For example, you could say, "Being online seems like it is really controlling your mood lately. Is there some reason for that?"
- You could also say, "I'm concerned about your safety. Let's go over the ground rules for staying safe online again."
- Remind them that they can trust you. Explain that you are just looking out for their best interests.
- Make sure they know the warning signs of a predator. They also need to know never to share personal information.
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Check your computer. If you suspect that an online predator is targeting someone in your home, you can check your computer. Make sure that you have security software installed. This can help protect your computer from spyware and viruses.- Run a security scan to see if any programs have been added to your computer without your knowledge.
- Check for suspicious downloads. Look to see if there is any concerning new material on your computer, such as pornography.
- Make sure to regularly inspect all of the devices in your house. Don't forget laptops and tablets, and phones.
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Contact the CyberTipline. This resource is mandated by Congress. You can contact the tipline 24/7 to report suspected incidents of abuse. You can report inappropriate sexual advances and any distribution of unsolicited sexual material. [5] X Research source- Go to the website at www.cybertipline.com
- You can also call 1-800-843-5678
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Check the sex offender registry. Many online predators have been convicted of a sexual offense. The sex offender registry is public information. Check your area to see if a potential sexual predator lives in your community. [6] X Research source- Family Watchdog is a site that allows parents to check their area for registered sex offenders. Enter your address to determine if anyone in your area is registered.
- You should also check the address for your child's school, and other frequently visited areas.
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Contact the authorities. If you or someone you know is concerned that you are being targeted by an online predator, you should report it. Contact the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children to make a report. You can reach that agency at 1800TheMissing.- You can also contact the FBI to make a report.
- If you are concerned about immediate danger, contact your local police department. Ask for an officer to come to your home to take a report.
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Set boundaries. If you have a minor who is regularly online, make sure that they follow basic safety guidelines. Set clear rules for their online activities. Then, clearly communicate these boundaries to them.- Make a "no delete" rule. Tell them not to clear their browsing history or cache. From time to time, check to see what they've been looking at.
- Set a time limit. For example, allow them to be online in the evening, but make sure they disconnect by 9 p.m.
- Be aware of who their "friends" are. Make sure your teen can clearly explain who they are interacting with.
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Purchase safety software. Sometimes boundaries aren't enough. You can use technology to help keep your family members safe. Consider purchasing security software to install on all family computers.- These programs can send alerts when someone tries to access questionable sites.
- Safety software can also record all online activity, so you can tell with certainty which sites your child has visited.
- Some programs can also prevent new windows from opening. This can help keep you and your family from accidentally stumbling into dangerous territory.
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Guard your privacy. Make certain that everyone in your household knows how to protect personal information. Hold a family meeting and talk about specific information that should never be shared online. Caution family members against sharing: [7] X Research source- Your home address
- Phone numbers
- Personal e-mail addresses
- Locations of schools
- Any details about physical appearance
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Avoid chat rooms. One of the best ways to stay safe is to avoid going into a private chat room. If someone asks you (or your child) to leave the group chat, consider this a warning sign. Inappropriate comments are most often made in private rooms.- Leave a chat immediately if you feel uncomfortable. Teach your family members to do the same.
- If asked to go into a private chat room, you can say, "No, thanks. I'm cool hanging here with the group."
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Listen to your instincts. Go with your gut. If something feels "off", you need to do something or say something. If your instincts tell you that you are dealing with a predator, cut off contact immediately. Tell your parents or a friend about your suspicions.- This is good advice for parents, too. If your instincts tell you that your child is dealing with a predator, don't ignore the feeling.
- Talk to your child immediately, and investigate your suspicions.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow do I keep my child safe online?Scott Nelson is a Police Sergeant with the Mountain View Police Department in California. He is also a practicing attorney for Goyette & Associates, Inc. where he represents public employees with a myriad of labor issues throughout the state. He has over 15 years of experience in law enforcement and specializes in digital forensics. Scott has received extensive training through the National Computer Forensics Institute and holds forensic certifications from Cellbrite, Blackbag, Axiom Forensics, and others. He earned a Master of Business Administration from the California State University Stanislaus and a Juris Doctorate from the Laurence Drivon School of Law.I believe limiting the use of electronic devices to public rooms in the house is usually a good start. Children shouldn't use these devices in their bedroom, especially with the doors closed. This way, you'll be able to have a visual of what they're looking at, monitoring their reactions. This will also create more engaging interactions between you, as you'll be able to ask questions and start discussions about what they're doing online. Use this as an opportunity to provide guidance and support your child as they navigate the internet.
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QuestionOne of my close friends keeps asking me for my age. Is that a warning sign?Community AnswerNot necessarily. They might just be curious. They might even want to make sure they're not talking to some middle-aged predator themselves - and could find it shady that you're so resistant to tell them how old you are. There isn't anything wrong with asking about someone's age or sharing your own.
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QuestionHow do I know if I am talking to a predator?Community AnswerA predator will start out innocently, but will eventually turn the conversation toward inappropriate topics, sexual in nature. Then he will want to meet you in person, and will try to pressure you into it. Don't ever share personal information online, especially your name, address, and phone number. You never know who you're really talking to.
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Tips
- Always remember that if a user of the site you're on makes you uncomfortable or appears to be a predator, there are other sites you can visit to get away from danger.Thanks
- If you are a parent and you feel your child/teen needs more protection/guidance, then buy a site blocker or monitoring program. Don't let online enemies in your home to begin with.Thanks
- A large number of online predators will lie about their age to either match or more closely mesh with the target's young age (i.e a 35-year-old man bumping his age down to the early 20s for instance).Thanks
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Warnings
- Never give out any extra personal information other than an online name. Also, don't ever send them a picture of you, especially if you're undressed. Online information and pictures can be used against you.Thanks
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References
- ↑ http://internetsafety101.org/grooming
- ↑ http://www.safeteens.com/how-to-recognize-grooming/
- ↑ http://www.safeteens.com/how-to-recognize-grooming/
- ↑ http://internetsafety101.org/predatorwarningsigns
- ↑ http://internetsafety101.org/predatorsresources
- ↑ http://internetsafety101.org/predatorsresources
- ↑ http://internetsafety101.org/predatorsrisk
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Reader Success Stories
- "Maybe add a step to stop it if it keeps happening. This is great and helped me confirm my suspicions about a boy. But now an older man is following me online. He private chatted me and nothing seems wrong; I'm kind of wary, though." ..." more
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"Maybe add a step to stop it if it keeps happening. This is great and helped me confirm my suspicions about a boy. But now an older man is following me online. He private chatted me and nothing seems wrong; I'm kind of wary, though."
..."
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"A guy had been messaging me for a few days and asked me my street name and address, of which I didn't reply to. I want to be sure, this helped me."
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"I found out I was talking to a predator. This potentially saved my life!"
"Great stuff! I now know that my Internet friend is legit. Thanks!"
"Don't use your real name as your username, use a fictional name."
