You care deeply for them and the chemistry is off the charts—but is it true love, or is it limerence? While limerence is more akin to infatuation, true love involves intense connection and abiding commitment, and usually grows between people over time. It’s possible for limerence to turn into true love as you both move beyond the honeymoon stage (that is, the early months of your relationship, when everything is new and fresh and spicy), but it doesn’t always.
Wondering if you’re in love or limerence? Answer a few questions, and we’ll tell you our thoughts. Just click “Start Quiz” to begin!
Questions Overview
1. They make you feel…
- Nervous with a rapid heartbeat.
- Electric, anxious, and thrilled.
- Excited, fun, and carefree.
- Calm, happy, and safe.
2. Do you find you’re constantly on alert for signs they return your feelings?
- Yes, totally! I’m obsessed!
- Yes, mainly when I’m feeling very anxious.
- Not really, but it’s nice to know they reciprocate!
- Hardly ever. I feel very confident they care about me!
3. When they show they return your feelings, you feel…
- Totally euphoric, like nothing else even matters.
- Exhilarated. It’s a rush!
- Excited and pleased.
- Content and satisfied.
4. “Everything I do, see, and experience reminds me of them.”
- Absolutely true
- Mostly true
- Mostly false
- Definitely false
5. Do you ever have anxious thoughts about them that you just can’t shake?
- Yes, constantly. I can’t chase these obsessive thoughts away.
- Yes, almost always. I can’t stop thinking about them.
- Not really. It happens sometimes.
- No, hardly ever.
6. “I tend to analyze all of their actions and everything they say to death.”
- Definitely true
- Mostly true
- Mostly false
- Definitely false
7. “I can remember every interaction we've had, in detail.”
- Totally true
- Mostly true
- Mostly false
- Totally false
8. “I’m so afraid of being rejected by them. I think about it all the time.”
- Totally true
- Mostly true
- Mostly false
- Totally false
9. Is there anything you don’t like about them?
- No way. They’re absolutely perfect.
- For the most part, no. I’m even in love with their flaws!
- Sure, they have some bad qualities, but I can ignore them.
- They possess both good and bad traits, and I love and accept them for who they are.
10. Say you make plans to hang out with a few friends next weekend, and then they ask you out. What do you do?
- I bail on my friends and go out with them. My buds understand!
- I ask my friends if they’d mind if I rainchecked so I could go out with them.
- I meet up with my friends but cut the hangout short so I have time to go out.
- I tell them I’d love to go out, but I already made plans, and ask if we can pick another time.
11. You shoot them a text or DM, but several hours go by without a reply. You feel…
- Panicky and distressed.
- Restless and impatient.
- Uneasy, but I can distract myself.
- Fine—they’ll respond when they can.
12. “I spend a lot of time imagining my future with them.”
- Very true: I dwell obsessively on it obsessively.
- Pretty true: I have every detail mapped out.
- Mostly false: I plan our future, but my expectations are rooted in reality.
- Definitely false: I think about our future and factor them in, but I mostly focus on the present.
More Quizzes
Did you like this quiz?
Yes
No
New: Get Your Personality Profile!
Take all 8 quizzes to get a detailed report on your true personality type. Discover your inner self!
Human Emotion
Discover Emotion
Main Char. Type
Get CFAK Type
Color Aura
Find Color
Soldier, Poet, King
Discover Role
Hogwarts House
Discover House
Intro/Extrovert
Learn Traits
Dating Personality
Get Dating Type
Love Language
Find Language
- Constant, intrusive thoughts about your crush or partner<\/li>
- Idealization of your crush or partner<\/li>
- Connecting every experience you have with your crush or partner<\/li>
- Intense fear of rejection by your crush or partner<\/li>
- Extreme mood swings dependent on whether your crush or partner seems to reciprocate your feelings (for instance, you feel elated when they text you or absolutely devastated when they don\u2019t like your Instagram post)<\/li>
- Overwhelming awkwardness or shyness around your crush or partner<\/li>
- Spending an excessive amount of time grooming yourself to impress your crush or partner<\/li><\/ul>
If you said yes, you\u2019re not alone! It\u2019s estimated that as many as 50% of people experience limerence at some point in their lives, that all-consuming, delicious obsession over a crush or significant other. Limerence usually fades over time, typically for one of the following reasons:- The limerent person gets to know their crush or partner better and realizes the object of their affections is, like all of us, flawed. The limerence either turns to a deep and abiding love with a committed partner, or the feelings fade and the limerent person moves on from their crush or partner.<\/li>
- The object of the limerent person\u2019s affection doesn\u2019t return their feelings, and the limerent person is heartbroken\u2014but ultimately heals.<\/li>
- The limerent person doesn\u2019t pursue their feelings (perhaps because they know the relationship would never work out for some reason), and they fade over time.<\/li><\/ul>
Limerence in and of itself isn\u2019t a \u201cbad\u201d thing\u2014like we said, it\u2019s fairly common, and it often goes away in time. It can even be fun! But in some cases, limerence can disrupt your life. If your life centers around your crush or partner and if you find you can\u2019t stop obsessing over them, try to remember these tips:- Your crush or partner isn\u2019t perfect. You may view them as a deity and crave a mere glance in your direction\u2014but they\u2019re human, just like you!<\/li>
- Following that line of thinking, their approval isn\u2019t everything, and their love won\u2019t complete you. Nobody is ever completed by love from somebody else.<\/li>
- You\u2019re worthy of and capable of achieving happiness and peace, whether you\u2019re single or in a relationship, so invest in yourself! Dive into your passions and do what makes you feel fulfilled.<\/li>
- Go easy on yourself for experiencing limerence, and show yourself some grace and compassion. You\u2019re unlikely to lose your feelings overnight.<\/li><\/ul>
These reminders may help you reframe your feelings and shake them off more easily, but in some cases, limerence can last a long time, and you may benefit from talking things through with a mental health professional. Limerence is sometimes a sign of unresolved past trauma and\/or mental health issues, but not always\u2014as we said, it\u2019s a very common occurrence, and though it can be overwhelming to deal with, it often fades in time.
While you\u2019re waiting for your feelings to fade, we recommend checking out some of these relevent wikiHows on limerence and intense crushes:- The Four Stages of Limerence<\/a><\/li>
- How Long Does a Crush Last? (And What\u2019s the Difference Between Limerence & a Crush?)<\/a><\/li>
- 3 Ways to Overcome an Infatuation<\/a><\/li><\/ul>","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Choose-a-Therapist"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Get-Over-a-Crush"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Choose a Therapist","id":45124,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Choose-a-Therapist","relUrl":"\/Choose-a-Therapist","image":"\/images\/thumb\/d\/d7\/Stop-Alcohol-Cravings-Step-3-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Stop-Alcohol-Cravings-Step-3-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Choose a Therapist"},{"title":"How to Move On from a Crush (And Stop Thinking About Them)","id":191738,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Get-Over-a-Crush","relUrl":"\/Get-Over-a-Crush","image":"\/images\/thumb\/c\/c2\/Get-Over-a-Crush-Step-12-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Get-Over-a-Crush-Step-12-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Move On from a Crush (And Stop Thinking About Them)"}],"minimum":0,"image":"","image_url":""},{"number":2,"text":"You may be in limerence.","meaning":"Based on some of your answers, it seems like you may be dealing with limerence more than true love. These are some common symptoms of limerence\u2014do you identify with any of them?
- Constant, intrusive thoughts about your crush or partner<\/li>
- Idealization of your crush or partner<\/li>
- Connecting every experience you have with your crush or partner<\/li>
- Intense fear of rejection by your crush or partner<\/li>
- Extreme mood swings dependent on whether your crush or partner seems to reciprocate your feelings (for instance, you feel elated when they text you or absolutely devastated when they don\u2019t like your Instagram post)<\/li>
- Overwhelming awkwardness or shyness around your crush or partner<\/li>
- Spending an excessive amount of time grooming yourself to impress your crush or partner<\/li><\/ul>
If you said yes, you\u2019re not alone! It\u2019s estimated that as many as 50% of people experience limerence at some point in their lives, that all-consuming, delicious obsession over a crush or significant other. Limerence usually fades over time, typically for one of the following reasons:- The limerent person gets to know their crush or partner better and realizes the object of their affections is, like all of us, flawed. The limerence either turns to a deep and abiding love with a committed partner, or the feelings fade and the limerent person moves on from their crush or partner.<\/li>
- The object of the limerent person\u2019s affection doesn\u2019t return their feelings, and the limerent person is heartbroken\u2014but ultimately heals.<\/li>
- The limerent person doesn\u2019t pursue their feelings (perhaps because they know the relationship would never work out for some reason), and they fade over time.<\/li><\/ul>
Limerence in and of itself isn\u2019t a \u201cbad\u201d thing\u2014like we said, it\u2019s fairly common, and it often goes away in time. It can even be fun! But in some cases, limerence can disrupt your life. If your life centers around your crush or partner and if you find you can\u2019t stop obsessing over them, try to remember these tips:- Your crush or partner isn\u2019t perfect. You may view them as a deity and crave a mere glance in your direction\u2014but they\u2019re human, just like you!<\/li>
- Following that line of thinking, their approval isn\u2019t everything, and their love won\u2019t complete you. Nobody is ever completed by love from somebody else.<\/li>
- You\u2019re worthy of and capable of achieving happiness and peace, whether you\u2019re single or in a relationship, so invest in yourself! Dive into your passions and do what makes you feel fulfilled.<\/li>
- Go easy on yourself for experiencing limerence, and show yourself some grace and compassion. You\u2019re unlikely to lose your feelings overnight.<\/li><\/ul>
These reminders may help you reframe your feelings and shake them off more easily, but in some cases, limerence can last a long time, and you may benefit from talking things through with a mental health professional. Limerence is sometimes a sign of unresolved past trauma and\/or mental health issues, but not always\u2014as we said, it\u2019s a very common occurrence, and though it can be overwhelming to deal with, it often fades in time.
While you\u2019re waiting for your feelings to fade, we recommend checking out some of these relevent wikiHows on limerence and intense crushes:- The Four Stages of Limerence<\/a><\/li>
- How Long Does a Crush Last? (And What\u2019s the Difference Between Limerence & a Crush?)<\/a><\/li>
- 3 Ways to Overcome an Infatuation<\/a><\/li><\/ul>","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Choose-a-Therapist"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Get-Over-a-Crush"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Choose a Therapist","id":45124,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Choose-a-Therapist","relUrl":"\/Choose-a-Therapist","image":"\/images\/thumb\/d\/d7\/Stop-Alcohol-Cravings-Step-3-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Stop-Alcohol-Cravings-Step-3-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Choose a Therapist"},{"title":"How to Move On from a Crush (And Stop Thinking About Them)","id":191738,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Get-Over-a-Crush","relUrl":"\/Get-Over-a-Crush","image":"\/images\/thumb\/c\/c2\/Get-Over-a-Crush-Step-12-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Get-Over-a-Crush-Step-12-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Move On from a Crush (And Stop Thinking About Them)"}],"minimum":0,"image":"","image_url":""},{"number":3,"text":"Sounds like love to us.","meaning":"Based on your answers, you may have some crushy feelings happening, but overall, you seem like you\u2019re really in love! Maybe you started out having intense limerent feelings for your crush or partner, but over time, they\u2019ve turned into deep, secure feelings. Will you and your crush or partner end up together forever? You\u2019re not sure\u2014but you\u2019re hopeful about it.
Whether you\u2019re going on ten years as a couple or you\u2019re still hoping your crush returns your feelings, true love is more about seeing the other person as a human being and knowing your worth doesn\u2019t depend on their ability to love you in return. Basically, it sounds like you\u2019ve got a good head on your shoulders and feet solidly on the ground: your expectations for your relationship with your crush or partner are realistic and hopeful and (mostly) unclouded by delusion or infatuation. Go you!","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Choose-a-Therapist"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Get-Over-a-Crush"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Choose a Therapist","id":45124,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Choose-a-Therapist","relUrl":"\/Choose-a-Therapist","image":"\/images\/thumb\/d\/d7\/Stop-Alcohol-Cravings-Step-3-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Stop-Alcohol-Cravings-Step-3-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Choose a Therapist"},{"title":"How to Move On from a Crush (And Stop Thinking About Them)","id":191738,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Get-Over-a-Crush","relUrl":"\/Get-Over-a-Crush","image":"\/images\/thumb\/c\/c2\/Get-Over-a-Crush-Step-12-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Get-Over-a-Crush-Step-12-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Move On from a Crush (And Stop Thinking About Them)"}],"minimum":0,"image":"","image_url":""},{"number":4,"text":"It\u2019s true love!","meaning":"Based on your answers, you seem like you\u2019re really in love! Love often begins as a crush\u2014maybe even limerence, which is sort of like a crush on steroids\u2014but over time, as you\u2019ve gotten to know your partner and realized they\u2019re not the perfect superhuman you may have initially believed them to be, your fluttery crush feelings turned to solid, deep, abiding love, trust, and affection.
We say \u201cpartner\u201d and not \u201ccrush,\u201d just because most of the time, true love involves mutual feelings that develop over months or years of dating, while limerence is often one-sided or happens during the honeymoon stage of a relationship. This isn\u2019t to say you aren\u2019t in love if you\u2019re not dating your crush yet\u2014maybe you\u2019ve known them for a long time and have accepted they\u2019re not\u2026well, perfect.
Whether you\u2019re going on ten years as a couple or you\u2019re still hoping your crush returns your feelings, true love is more about seeing the other person as a human being and knowing your worth doesn\u2019t depend on their ability to love you in return. Basically, it sounds like you\u2019ve got a good head on your shoulders and feet solidly on the ground: your expectations for your relationship with your crush or partner are realistic and hopeful and unclouded by delusion or infatuation. Go you!","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Choose-a-Therapist"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Get-Over-a-Crush"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Choose a Therapist","id":45124,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Choose-a-Therapist","relUrl":"\/Choose-a-Therapist","image":"\/images\/thumb\/d\/d7\/Stop-Alcohol-Cravings-Step-3-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Stop-Alcohol-Cravings-Step-3-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Choose a Therapist"},{"title":"How to Move On from a Crush (And Stop Thinking About Them)","id":191738,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Get-Over-a-Crush","relUrl":"\/Get-Over-a-Crush","image":"\/images\/thumb\/c\/c2\/Get-Over-a-Crush-Step-12-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Get-Over-a-Crush-Step-12-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Move On from a Crush (And Stop Thinking About Them)"}],"minimum":0,"image":"","image_url":""}]" class="quiz_results_data"/>![\"Soulmate](\"\/images\/thumb\/a\/ad\/Soulmate_name_quiz.png\/-crop-375-300-375px-Soulmate_name_quiz.png\")
<\/picture>","alt":"What's My Soulmate's Name Quiz"},{"title":"Does My Crush Like Me Quiz","id":13907873,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Relationships\/Does-My-Crush-Like-Me-Quiz","relUrl":"\/Relationships\/Does-My-Crush-Like-Me-Quiz","image":"![\"Does](\"\/images\/thumb\/4\/45\/Does_my_crush_like_me_quiz.png\/-crop-375-300-375px-Does_my_crush_like_me_quiz.png\")
<\/picture>","alt":"Does My Crush Like Me Quiz"},{"title":"Lasting Love Estimator","id":14682200,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Relationships\/Love-Estimator","relUrl":"\/Relationships\/Love-Estimator","image":"![\"Love](\"\/images\/thumb\/7\/76\/Love_estimator.png\/-crop-375-300-375px-Love_estimator.png\")
<\/picture>","alt":"Lasting Love Estimator"}],"number":1},{"text":"No","result":"Ok! Try these quizzes next:","next_quizzes":[{"title":"Do I Have a Crush Quiz","id":13890252,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Relationships\/Do-I-Have-a-Crush-Quiz","relUrl":"\/Relationships\/Do-I-Have-a-Crush-Quiz","image":"![\"Do](\"\/images\/thumb\/d\/db\/Do_i_have_a_crush_quiz.png\/-crop-375-300-375px-Do_i_have_a_crush_quiz.png\")
<\/picture>","alt":"Do I Have a Crush Quiz"},{"title":"Does My Crush Like Me Quiz","id":13907873,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Relationships\/Does-My-Crush-Like-Me-Quiz","relUrl":"\/Relationships\/Does-My-Crush-Like-Me-Quiz","image":"<\/picture>","alt":"Does My Crush Like Me Quiz"},{"title":"Am I In Love Quiz","id":13203013,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Relationships\/Am-I-In-Love-Quiz","relUrl":"\/Relationships\/Am-I-In-Love-Quiz","image":"![\"Am](\"\/images\/thumb\/c\/cc\/Canva-i-am-in-love-with-you.jpg\/-crop-375-300-375px-Canva-i-am-in-love-with-you.jpg\")
<\/picture>","alt":"Am I In Love Quiz"}],"number":2}]}" class="quiz_questionnaire_data"/>
- How Long Does a Crush Last? (And What\u2019s the Difference Between Limerence & a Crush?)<\/a><\/li>
- The Four Stages of Limerence<\/a><\/li>
- How Long Does a Crush Last? (And What\u2019s the Difference Between Limerence & a Crush?)<\/a><\/li>
- The Four Stages of Limerence<\/a><\/li>
![\"Does](\"\/images\/thumb\/4\/45\/Does_my_crush_like_me_quiz.png\/-crop-375-300-375px-Does_my_crush_like_me_quiz.png.webp\"\/)
<\/picture>","alt":"Does My Crush Like Me Quiz"},{"title":"Lasting Love Estimator","id":14682200,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Relationships\/Love-Estimator","relUrl":"\/Relationships\/Love-Estimator","image":"![\"Love](\"\/images\/thumb\/7\/76\/Love_estimator.png\/-crop-375-300-375px-Love_estimator.png.webp\"\/)
<\/picture>","alt":"Lasting Love Estimator"}],"number":1},{"text":"No","result":"Ok! Try these quizzes next:","next_quizzes":[{"title":"Do I Have a Crush Quiz","id":13890252,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Relationships\/Do-I-Have-a-Crush-Quiz","relUrl":"\/Relationships\/Do-I-Have-a-Crush-Quiz","image":"![\"Do](\"\/images\/thumb\/d\/db\/Do_i_have_a_crush_quiz.png\/-crop-375-300-375px-Do_i_have_a_crush_quiz.png.webp\"\/)
<\/picture>","alt":"Do I Have a Crush Quiz"},{"title":"Does My Crush Like Me Quiz","id":13907873,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Relationships\/Does-My-Crush-Like-Me-Quiz","relUrl":"\/Relationships\/Does-My-Crush-Like-Me-Quiz","image":"![\"Am](\"\/images\/thumb\/c\/cc\/Canva-i-am-in-love-with-you.jpg\/-crop-375-300-375px-Canva-i-am-in-love-with-you.jpg.webp\"\/)
<\/picture>","alt":"Am I In Love Quiz"}],"number":2}]}" class="quiz_questionnaire_data"/>
What is limerence?
As many as 50% of people experience limerence at some point in their lives, and while limerence may eventually turn into love, the two are not one and the same. While love is characterized by mutual respect, trust, and commitment, limerence is more like a roller coaster ride…in the middle of a tornado…while you’re on fire the entire time. Limerent people usually exhibit the following traits:
- Consistent, intrusive thoughts about the limerent object (LO)
- Idealization of the LO
- Associating every experience the limerent individual has with the LO
- Extreme fear of rejection by the LO
- Extreme mood swings dependent on the LO’s behavior (for instance, the limerent individual might super happy when they get a text from the LO, or absolutely destroyed when the LO forgets to reply to a text)
- Excessive awkwardness, clumsiness, or shyness around the LO
- Spending a lot of time improving their appearance to impress the LO
As you might notice, limerence sounds an awful lot like a crush—and it is! Limerence is like a crush on steroids! But the key difference is that while the desired outcome of a crush is for the person you like to like you back, when it comes to limerence, the (usually unconscious) goal is to stay in the exciting state of not knowing whether the LO returns your feelings. In other words, limerent individuals enjoy the experience of passionately desiring someone who may or may not love them back.
There are actually three stages of limerence:
- Infatuation , in which you fall head over heels for the LO: everything suddenly becomes about them! You basically become obsessed. You can’t stop thinking about them, and all of your plans revolved around them.
- Crystallization , in which your feelings become even more intense and you begin to view the person as some perfect being without flaws. You idealize them and put them on a pedestal, viewing them really as more of a god than an actual flesh-and-blood human.
- Deterioration
, in which the limerence eventually wears off and you begin to see the LO more realistically. You realize they’re just a person, after all, and the feelings for them fade (and, in some cases, are transferred to a new LO, and the cycle begins again).
Sometimes, limerence can turn into true love as you start dating someone and begin to see them as a human being, with flaws and imperfections. But in some cases, limerence may be a sign of certain mental health conditions or unresolved past trauma: people with relational trauma from early-childhood attachment wounds may be more likely to struggle with limerence than other people.
But the good news is, you may be able to work through this with a licensed therapist. They’ll help you unpack any unresolved issues that may contribute to your tendency to experience limerence, so that you can be more open to experiencing true, deep, abiding love. Because you’re worth it!
Want to learn more?
To learn more about limerence, visit these sites:
| Rank | All-Time Top Quizzers | Quizzes |
|---|---|---|
|
1
|
 Dreemurr_Memer
|
525 |
|
2
|
 PepperBelle
|
432 |
|
3
|
 TheNotSoGreatUnknown
|
432 |
