Should I Text Him?

Take this quiz to see if you should hit him up!

To text or not to text, that is the question. When is it okay to be the one to reach out?

Answer these quick questions, and we’ll tell you whether or not you should text him.

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Questions Overview

1. What's your relationship to him, right now?
  1. He's an ex from a long time ago.
  2. He's my situationship.
  3. He's an ex from a recent relationship or breakup.
  4. Something else.
2. Who sent the last text?
  1. He did, a while ago.
  2. He did, pretty recently.
  3. I did, a while ago.
  4. I did, pretty recently.
  5. We haven't texted before.
3. What are you hoping might happen if you text him?
  1. I want a romantic relationship.
  2. I just want a friend or someone to talk to.
  3. I want to see how he's doing. It's been a while...
  4. Something else.
4. Be honest: Are you in a good place, mentally, to text him? (Are you lonely, stressed, etc.?)
  1. Totally! I've thought it through. My mind is clear.
  2. Maybe. My feelings are sorta complicated.
  3. Not really. I just want to text him because I can't help myself.
  4. I'm not sure.
5. How do you usually feel when you talk to him? (In person or over text.)
  1. I feel a rush, like I'm watching a thrilling movie and need to see what happens next.
  2. I feel comfortable and at home, like I've known him forever.
  3. I feel confused, agitated, or frustrated. Like, why is this so hard?
  4. Something else. / I'm not sure. / I haven't talked to him yet.
6. Is he currently single (or is he available)?
  1. No, he's in a relationship with someone (who isn't me).
  2. Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
  3. Does it matter?
  4. I'm not sure, or it's complicated.
7. Are the two of you on good terms right now?
  1. Yeah, we're chill!
  2. Not really.
  3. I'm not sure.
  4. We're not on any terms because we haven't talked yet.
8. Has he ever left you on read?
  1. Yeah, and it felt like it was on purpose.
  2. Yes, but I don't think it was on purpose.
  3. Nah, he always gets back to me eventually.
  4. I don't remember. / We haven't talked yet.
9. Choose the text you're most likely to send right now:
  1. "Hey. We need to talk."
  2. "I hope this doesn't bother you. Please hear me out..."
  3. "Hey! How's your day going?"
  4. "You know, I've been thinking about you recently..."
10. Has he ever raised any red flags before?
  1. He has a lot of red flags, honestly.
  2. He has some red flags, but I can live with them.
  3. He has one or two, but who doesn't?
  4. Not really.
11. What do your friends or family think about him?
  1. They don't like him, but I don't think they really get it.
  2. They like him, but they have some concerns.
  3. They like him, but idk how I feel...
  4. They don't know about him.

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We know it feels a little scary, but what's the worst that could happen? He doesn't text back? He tells you he's not interested? Okay, sure, that can sting, but it's nothing you can't shake off. And it's nothing compared to the best that can happen, right? You'll never know if you don't make the move!

It doesn't have to be dramatic or all-or-nothing. Just start a conversation. Say, \"Hey, how's your day going?\" or, \"I just saw this movie that reminded me of you,\" or even, \"What are you doing tomorrow? Wanna meet up?\" People text each other all the time. It's not a crime, it doesn't make you weird or desperate, and there's absolutely nothing to lose. Don't die wondering what might've happened, pick up the phone!","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/How-Many-Days-Should-I-Wait-to-Text-Him"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Is-He-Waiting-for-Me-to-Text-Him-First"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How Many Days Should I Wait to Text Him? Here's What Dating Experts Say","id":13006321,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/How-Many-Days-Should-I-Wait-to-Text-Him","relUrl":"\/How-Many-Days-Should-I-Wait-to-Text-Him","image":"\/images\/thumb\/7\/77\/How-Many-Days-Should-I-Wait-to-Text-Him-Step-6.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-How-Many-Days-Should-I-Wait-to-Text-Him-Step-6.jpg","alt":"How Many Days Should I Wait to Text Him? Here's What Dating Experts Say"},{"title":"Is He Waiting for Me to Text Him First? Learn When and How to Make the First Move","id":12740999,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Is-He-Waiting-for-Me-to-Text-Him-First","relUrl":"\/Is-He-Waiting-for-Me-to-Text-Him-First","image":"\/images\/thumb\/e\/e1\/Is-He-Waiting-for-Me-to-Text-Him-First-Step-15.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Is-He-Waiting-for-Me-to-Text-Him-First-Step-15.jpg","alt":"Is He Waiting for Me to Text Him First? Learn When and How to Make the First Move"}],"minimum":0,"image":"","image_url":""},{"number":2,"text":"You should text him, but keep it casual.","meaning":"Based on your answers, we're getting some mixed signals. We think you should text him, but be strategic and careful about it, while keeping it lowkey and casual. Think of this like a recon mission. You're just getting a feel for the vibe, forging a connection, and then you can see where you go from there.

You might still have some hangups, so now is the time to sus out those little nags. Wondering if he has a girlfriend? Wondering if he's as cool as you think he is? Or maybe you noticed a red flag and you want to clear the air? The only way you're gonna get answers is by asking the right questions and getting some banter going.

It doesn't have to be dramatic or all-or-nothing. Just start a conversation. Say, \"Hey, how's your day going?\" or, \"I just saw this movie that reminded me of you,\" or even, \"What are you doing tomorrow? Wanna meet up?\" People text each other all the time. It's not a crime, it doesn't make you weird or desperate, and there's absolutely nothing to lose. Don't die wondering what might've happened, pick up the phone!","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/How-Many-Days-Should-I-Wait-to-Text-Him"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Is-He-Waiting-for-Me-to-Text-Him-First"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How Many Days Should I Wait to Text Him? Here's What Dating Experts Say","id":13006321,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/How-Many-Days-Should-I-Wait-to-Text-Him","relUrl":"\/How-Many-Days-Should-I-Wait-to-Text-Him","image":"\/images\/thumb\/7\/77\/How-Many-Days-Should-I-Wait-to-Text-Him-Step-6.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-How-Many-Days-Should-I-Wait-to-Text-Him-Step-6.jpg","alt":"How Many Days Should I Wait to Text Him? Here's What Dating Experts Say"},{"title":"Is He Waiting for Me to Text Him First? Learn When and How to Make the First Move","id":12740999,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Is-He-Waiting-for-Me-to-Text-Him-First","relUrl":"\/Is-He-Waiting-for-Me-to-Text-Him-First","image":"\/images\/thumb\/e\/e1\/Is-He-Waiting-for-Me-to-Text-Him-First-Step-15.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Is-He-Waiting-for-Me-to-Text-Him-First-Step-15.jpg","alt":"Is He Waiting for Me to Text Him First? Learn When and How to Make the First Move"}],"minimum":0,"image":"","image_url":""},{"number":3,"text":"You shouldn't text him.","meaning":"Based on your answers, we're gonna go ahead and close this door for you. Then, we're gonna cover it in \"Caution\" tape and put a guard out front so you're not tempted to open it.

What we mean is that it seems, from where we're standing, that texting him isn't a great idea. Maybe you've got some not-so-happy history, or maybe he's off-limits because he's got a partner, or a shady past. Whatever the case, we don't like the looks of it, and we're here to do you a favor and tell you put down the phone. You'll be happier without him, trust us!

Instead, hit up a friend! Ask someone to hang out, or even find a different date to distract you. Work on a hobby, read a book, binge that new TV series you've been meaning to watch. Anything to keep your mind off of him and onto yourself. You're what's important here. This feeling will pass, and one day you'll find the guy of your dreams. He's not it. Block his number, then get yourself a nice beverage, put on some music, and take care of yourself. You deserve it.","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/How-Many-Days-Should-I-Wait-to-Text-Him"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Is-He-Waiting-for-Me-to-Text-Him-First"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How Many Days Should I Wait to Text Him? Here's What Dating Experts Say","id":13006321,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/How-Many-Days-Should-I-Wait-to-Text-Him","relUrl":"\/How-Many-Days-Should-I-Wait-to-Text-Him","image":"\/images\/thumb\/7\/77\/How-Many-Days-Should-I-Wait-to-Text-Him-Step-6.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-How-Many-Days-Should-I-Wait-to-Text-Him-Step-6.jpg","alt":"How Many Days Should I Wait to Text Him? Here's What Dating Experts Say"},{"title":"Is He Waiting for Me to Text Him First? Learn When and How to Make the First Move","id":12740999,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Is-He-Waiting-for-Me-to-Text-Him-First","relUrl":"\/Is-He-Waiting-for-Me-to-Text-Him-First","image":"\/images\/thumb\/e\/e1\/Is-He-Waiting-for-Me-to-Text-Him-First-Step-15.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Is-He-Waiting-for-Me-to-Text-Him-First-Step-15.jpg","alt":"Is He Waiting for Me to Text Him First? Learn When and How to Make the First Move"}],"minimum":0,"image":"","image_url":""}]" class="quiz_results_data"/>\"Which<\/picture>","alt":"Which Dating App Should I Use Quiz"},{"title":"Craft a First Message for a Dating App","id":14988883,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Dating-App-Message-Generator","relUrl":"\/Dating-App-Message-Generator","image":"\"Dating<\/picture>","alt":"Craft a First Message for a Dating App"},{"title":"Craft the Perfect Reply to Any Text","id":14995997,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Generator\/Text-Response-Generator","relUrl":"\/Generator\/Text-Response-Generator","image":"\"Text<\/picture>","alt":"Craft the Perfect Reply to Any Text"}],"number":1},{"text":"Calling","result":"We hear ya! In that case, check out these quizzes:","next_quizzes":[{"title":"Get the Best Rizz Line","id":14994367,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Generator\/Rizz-Generator","relUrl":"\/Generator\/Rizz-Generator","image":"\"Rizz<\/picture>","alt":"Get the Best Rizz Line"},{"title":"Break the Ice with a Conversation Starter","id":14987473,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Conversation-Starter-Generator","relUrl":"\/Conversation-Starter-Generator","image":"\"Conversation<\/picture>","alt":"Break the Ice with a Conversation Starter"},{"title":"Love Message Generator: Romantic, Personalized Messages","id":14967710,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Love-Message-Generator","relUrl":"\/Love-Message-Generator","image":"\"Love<\/picture>","alt":"Love Message Generator: Romantic, Personalized Messages"}],"number":2}]}" class="quiz_questionnaire_data"/>

When should you text him?

When not to text him:

  • You just broke up.
  • He’s your ex.
  • He’s given off red flag that make you hesitate.
  • He can’t hold down a relationship for more than a few months.
  • He’s not single or available.
  • He hasn’t responded to your double or triple text.

When you should text him:

  • You're both available.
  • You have chemistry when you hang out.
  • He’s been flirting or dropping hints.
  • He’s totally your type.
  • You just wanna chat with him.
  • You can’t stop thinking about him.

Rules for Texting Guys

1. Feel free to double text. Yeah, we’ll say it. We think all this anxiety around double or triple texting is silly. Guys love the attention, and you won’t come off as desperate, as long as you actually have something to say and aren’t just pinging his phone for no reason. Send him that essay. If he’s cool, he’ll love it. And if he has some weird hangups about double texting, he’s probably too high-maintenance, anyway.

2. Start casual. It’s tempting to go straight to, “Come over,” and while it’d honestly work on a lot of guys, it’s not the wisest thing. Start slow, with a casual conversation , and work up to flirting . That way, you have a chance to sus him out and see if he’s even worth your time.

3. Give him time. Send the text, put the phone down, and come back an hour later. If he doesn’t text immediately, or even the same day, don’t sweat it. Lots of people take their time texting, and it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like you, just that he’s got a whole other life to lead. Some day, maybe you’ll be important enough to each other that you get instant responses. Until then, you gotta work up to it.

4. Stay calm. If you’re nervous about sending a risky text, keep it in your drafts for a while, then come back later and read it again. If it still sounds good, send it. Otherwise, delete it and rethink. Whatever you do, stay calm, and remember: It’s just texting!

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