How to Respond When Someone Says They Are Sick

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Kind phrases and gestures for someone who is ill
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When a friend, family member, or colleague tells you that they’re ill, it can be hard to find the right words to say. It’s okay if you aren’t sure whether you’re saying the perfect thing or not—the most important thing is to be empathetic, honest, and supportive. That being said, we’ll help you out by providing you a list of exactly what to say—and not to say—to someone who’s sick, whether they’re just a bit under the weather or managing a serious illness.

The Best Things to Say to Someone Who Is Sick

  1. “Aw, that’s awful! I’m sorry you’re sick.”
  2. “Heal up and know that I’m thinking about you.”
  3. “Wishing you lots of love and strength while you recover.”
  4. “I’m sorry you aren’t feeling good. Is there anything I can do to help?”
  5. “Do you want me to bring you some food? What is your favorite food?”
  6. “I’ll be by your side every step of the way, on good days and bad days.”
  7. “You mean so much to a lot of people. I hope you’re feeling very loved right now.”
Section 1 of 11:

What to Say to Someone Who Isn’t Feeling Well

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  1. If a person in your life is sick with a cold, the flu, or another mild illness, it’s best to politely express your empathy and offer any support or help (if needed). If the ill person is just an acquaintance, you can stick with something simple like “I’m sorry to hear that, hope you feel better !” If it’s a close friend, however, you might add some teasing humor to cheer them up, like “You better bounce back quickly so we can hang out!” Here are some more examples of how to respond when someone says they’re not feeling well: [1]
    • “Aw, that’s awful! I’m sorry you’re sick.”
    • “I hate it when the coolest people in my life get sick!”
    • “I’m sorry you aren’t feeling good. Is there anything I can do to help?”
    • “I’m sorry to hear that! Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need anything.”
    • “Oh man, I’ve been there before. Seems like there’s something nasty going around.”
    • “I can swing by and drop some soup off if you want. I know how tough it is to be sick.”
    • “You better get healthy soon. I don’t have anyone to crack bad jokes with if you aren’t around.”
    • “You have no right getting sick just when I need my best work friend! Jk. Feel better!”
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Section 2 of 11:

What to Say to a Seriously Ill Person

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  1. If someone is dealing with a more serious illness or health crisis, make sure to acknowledge their feelings and offer a concrete show of support while also letting them lead the conversation—focus on listening and empathy, rather than being overly preoccupied with your own reaction. If you truly feel shell-shocked, it’s okay to be honest with them and say that you’re speechless or aren’t sure of the right words. Here are some examples of what you might say: [2]
    • “I’m really sorry you’re going through this.”
    • “Do you want me to bring you some food? What is your favorite food?”
    • “I’ll be thinking about you. I would be devastated if anything happened to you.”
    • “Just want you to know that I’m thinking about you. Fingers crossed today is a good one.”
    • “What you just shared with me was so heartfelt and I really appreciate you opening up to me in this way.”
    • “If you want to scream, or cry, or whatever, I’m here for it. You can say or do whatever you need to do right now.”
    • “If there’s anything you need from me, tell me. Seriously. I can watch your dog, or offer rides on the weekend. Just let me know.”
    • “I don’t know what to say right now, but I want you to know that I am 100% here for you, and will be by your side every step of the way.”
    • “Sending through your Monday morning reminder that you’re important to me and I’d be lost without you. Adore you to the moon and back.”
    • "Do you have heaps of appointments again this week? I’m around, and have heard I’m not bad for a non-Uber driver. I can take you wherever you need to go (as long as we can stop for snacks on the way)."
Section 3 of 11:

What to Say to Someone Experiencing Cancer, Chemo, or Terminal Illness

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  1. When someone’s been diagnosed with cancer or another serious or terminal illness, it can be incredibly difficult to find the right words to express your love and care for them. [3] We recommend offering some kind (but not overly positive) words, as well as a concrete offer of support that takes something off their plate—most importantly, be yourself and just let them know that they’re being thought of. Here are some examples: [4]
    • “You mean so much to a lot of people. I hope you’re feeling very loved right now.”
    • “It’s ok to feel upset and angry. I’m always here if you want to get things off your chest.”
    • “I can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now, but I’m always here if you want to talk it out.”
    • “I’m here if you need anything, and my phone is always on if you need to talk or rant or cry.”
    • “I have an UberEats discount code I want to use. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?”
    • “I know I’m not religious, but I’m praying for a miracle cure. Not sure if He’ll listen but hey, may as well ask!”
    • “You’re so important to me, and I’m so glad to know and have known you. You’re an incredible person.”
    • “So sorry to hear your news. We’re all thinking of you. Let me know if you’d like a visit sometime. I’d also love to take you to your next doctor’s appointment (or bring a meal by, go for a walk with you, mow your grass). Can I help out next week?”
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Section 4 of 11:

What to Say to Someone Who’s Just Had Surgery

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  1. Going through surgery is always a stressful experience, even if the reason for the surgery isn’t super serious. Whatever the case, it’s nice to send an empathetic, positive, and caring message to anyone who’s just had surgery. Let them know that you’re thinking of them throughout their healing and recovery period, or use one of these examples to lift their spirits: [5]
    • “ How are you feeling ?”
    • “Sending you healing vibes.”
    • “I hope your pain disappears ASAP.”
    • “Wishing you lots of love and strength while you recover.”
    • “Please let me know if you need a ride or just want to talk.”
    • “Can’t wait to (insert your favorite activity to do together) with you again soon.”
    • “I’ve dealt with hospital billing before. Please let me help you with the insurance negotiations; I’m good at it.”
    • “So glad you’re in the right hands – you have an incredible team of medics working hard to get you feeling better again soon.”
Section 5 of 11:

What to Say to a Religious Person Who’s Sick

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  1. If you know that this sick individual is religious, it’d probably give them a lot of comfort to turn to their faith at this time. [6] Whether you’re religious or not, consider mentioning God or prayer in your response to them. However, avoid sending faith-based or spiritual messages to anyone if you don’t know that they are also religious. If they are, here are some examples to choose from: [7]
    • “We pray that you’ll be wrapped up in God’s arms during this difficult time.”
    • “Thinking of you and hoping that your faith brings you comfort and fortitude.”
    • “All of us at (place of worship) are thinking of you and keeping you in our prayers.”
    • “Sorry to hear you’re unwell. Remember that God is always with you and keeps you in His light even through times of darkness.”
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Section 6 of 11:

Choosing What to Say Based on Your Relationship

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  1. If one of your colleagues isn’t feeling well or is dealing with a serious illness, send them a professional yet heartfelt message. Depending on how closely you work together or if you have a relationship outside of the office, be sure to extend your sympathies or offer a concrete way that you can help them out during this time. Here are some examples: [8]
    • “Hope you feel a little better every day.”
    • “Sending you love as you walk this journey.”
    • “Can’t wait to see you back in the office soon.”
    • “Heal up and know that I’m thinking about you.”
    • “Work isn’t the same without you! Get better soon.”
    • “Sending you well wishes. Hope you recover soon.”
    • “Get well soon—can’t wait to have you back in the office!”
    • “Don’t worry about those reports. We’ve got them covered :)”
    • “Sorry to hear you’re sick. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything while you’re gone.”
    • “So sorry to hear you’re having a hard time right now. I’m here if you ever need to talk.”
    • “I’m sorry to hear you’re not feeling well. I want to drop off (a meal, some flowers, a card from the office) . Can I come by one day next week?”
  2. When a friend is sick, your messages and responses can be a little bit more humorous, friendly, and intimate. The most important thing is to change as little as possible about your typical friendship dynamic. Let your friend know you love them and that you’re there for them, but also avoid treating them any differently or like you can’t be yourself around them. Here are some examples: [9]
    • “You feeling well enough for some hot gossip?”
    • “I’m always on the other end of the phone when you need me.”
    • “I’ve always admired your strength and resilience, but it’s also okay to feel like crap.”
    • “Whatever you need, I’m here to help. You’re doing amazing, and I’m so proud of you.”
    • “We’ll get through this together. I’m always here for you, day or night, no matter what happens.”
  3. Having a relative fall ill can take a real toll on the whole family, but it’s important to extend your well wishes and let your family member know that they’re loved. Tell them that you’re thinking of them and—if you live nearby— offer to help them out in some way or bring by some of their favorite foods. Here are some examples: [10]
    • “Warmest wishes for a speedy recovery!”
    • “I hope you’re feeling better and better every day!”
    • “Get well soon! I’m sure you’ll be back to your lovely self in no time.”
    • “Thinking of you, and sending healing thoughts. You’re such a strong person, and I’ve always admired your courage and strength.”
    • “Everyone in our family is thinking of you, and we’re going to set up a meal roster for you starting next week. Let me know if you have any special requests!!”
  4. If your spouse or significant other is ill , you’re probably taking on the brunt of caring for them and supporting them—and we’re sure they’d do the same for you. Remind them frequently that you love them dearly and that nothing will make you leave their side. Here are some more examples of what you might say: [11]
    • “I’ll be by your side every step of the way, on good days and bad days.”
    • “You can get through this, and I’ll be right here with you. We’re a team.”
    • “You’re amazing, and you inspire me every day. I’m so lucky to have you in my life.”
    • “I love you, and I’m here for you. Whatever happens, we’ve got each other, and I think that makes us pretty lucky.”
  5. Your parents have taken care of you for your whole life, so now is probably a good time to return the favor. As difficult as it likely is to put aside your own emotions right now, focus on providing some support to your parent and assuring them that you’re there for whatever they need throughout this challenging time. Here are some examples of what you might say:
    • “You’re strong, and I know you’ll get through this. Just take it one day at a time.”
    • “You always looked after me, and now I’m here to look after you. How can I support you right now?”
    • “The rest of the family and I will take care of everything. You just focus on taking care of yourself.”
  6. 6
    What to Say to a Sick Child It can be incredibly hard to reconcile that a child in your life can be sick—whether they’re a family member, friend, student, or your own child. Normally, you want to leave any overly optimistic notes out of your message. For younger kids, however, it’s okay to instill them with a little bit of hope and positivity, like you might in one of these message examples: [12]
    • “You’re being so brave. Get well soon, my little fighter!”
    • “Sorry things aren’t much fun right now — I hope that changes soon.”
    • “You’re a superstar, and I’m so proud of you! Can’t wait to go out for ice cream together when you’re feeling better.”
    • “I bet everyone at school is missing you a ton, but I’m sure it won’t be long before you’re playing with your friends again.”
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Section 7 of 11:

What Not to Say to Someone Who Is Sick

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  1. Avoid minimizing the situation or offering advice and empty platitudes. While there’s no one perfect way to respond to someone when they’re sick, there are a few notable phrases and messages that are best avoided. We’ve outlined these below, but keep in mind that most people will understand your good intentions—if you say something that doesn’t sit quite right, just move on from that moment and try something different. [13]
    • “What can I do to help?” This message seems nice and obviously displays good intentions, but it puts the onus of the what on the ill person. Instead of offering to do something (like bring food or help out around their house), just do it.
    • “At least you’re not… Avoid any sentences that start with “at least.” You may feel like you’re trying to offer some sort of silver lining, but seeing the positives in a truly painful situation will likely come off as useless or irritating to a seriously ill individual.
    • “When I was sick, I… You may have experienced a similar illness or situation, but that doesn’t mean the two experiences are the same. Making a comparison between you and the sick person may make them feel shut down or unable to share their unique experience with you.
    • “My thoughts and prayers are with you.” Even with the best of intentions, this phrase is ultimately a cliche that people turn to when they don’t know what else to say. It doesn’t come off as super heartfelt, so it’s best to say something more like “I’m thinking of you.”
    • “Did you try that ___ I recommended?” Avoid offering any type of natural medicine, mindfulness exercise, or other believed "cure." Even if you’re just trying to help, trust that your sick friend is getting all of the medical advice they need from their doctor and other health advisors.
    • “Everything will be okay.” The truth is, you don’t know if everything will be okay. Offering this overly optimistic phrase to an ill person is only likely to remind them of that fact—plus, it’s totally okay for them to be feeling down and angry right now.
Section 8 of 11:

Other Ways to Send Support to an Ill Person

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  1. 1
    Send a get-well card with a small gift. Pick out a nice ‘get well’ card that fits their personality and preferences, then write a heartfelt ‘get well’ message on the inside of the card. Go the extra mile by pairing your card with a bouquet of flowers or a sweet treat. If you can’t bring your card and gift to their home in person, companies like Moonpig will deliver cards and small gifts for you in as little as 24 hours.
  2. 2
    Send a gift box from their favorite store or a local company. Many companies and stores have pre-designed gift boxes to give to anyone who needs a bit of a pick-me-up. Choose a gift box from the ill person’s favorite store, or just get them any package with a delightful combination of cute, comforting, and day-brightening items. Herbal teas, fluffy socks, puzzle books, chocolate truffles…whatever you think they’d like best! [14]
  3. 3
    Make them a delicious meal or dessert and drop it off at their home. One of the simplest yet most supportive things you can do is whip up a home-cooked meal and deliver it to them. Someone who’s sick likely physically cannot or will struggle to have the energy to cook for themselves, so making sure they have some delicious and hearty treats—like chocolate chip cookies or lasagna—will go a long way in showing how much you care. [15]
  4. 4
    Set up a food roster with their other friends and family members. Delivering one meal is fantastic, but it’s even better to set up a digital meal roster with all of the colleagues and loved ones who may want to support this person. Use a digital meal calendar like Take Them A Meal and input the names of everyone who’s participating and all of the dates when they’ll need delivery. This way, everyone will just have to pitch in a little to make sure that their sick loved one gets a whole lot of support. [16]
  5. 5
    Book them an at-home self-care session. If your friend or family member loves to be pampered and is well enough to get a treatment done, organize for a professional clinician to visit their home and give them a little bit of special treatment. A pampering session could be a manicure, pedicure, haircut, or even a facial! Being able to take care of themselves will probably make them feel happier, healthier, and more like themselves again. [17]
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Section 9 of 11:

Should I call, text, email, or send a card to a sick person?

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  1. Choose a mode of communication based on your relationship. If you find out that someone in your life is sick from a source other than them, you may want to reach out to them immediately—but what’s the best way to do that? You could text them, call them, send an email, or send a card. None of these are bad options, but whether one is more appropriate than another really depends on your relationship—so we’ve outlined when you may want to use each one below:
    • Sending a get-well card: Cards are a good option for anyone who’s dealing with a long-term illness or major health episode, and they work for pretty much any person in your life. A card is heartfelt and sweet and lets someone know you care without any added pressure.
    • Calling them on the phone: Phone calls are a good way to reach out to people who are dealing with moderate-to-severe illnesses, but they can feel invasive or stressful. For that reason, they may be better used for when you have a close relationship with the ill person. In either case, don’t expect them to pick up and leave a heartfelt message that emphasizes that there’s no need for you to return their call.
    • Shooting them a text: Texts are more casual, so they’re best for close friends and family members or when someone is experiencing a mild illness. Similar to phone calls, however, they may put pressure on the other person to respond, so make sure to end your text with something like “Please don’t feel like you need to respond to this if you aren’t up to it.”
    • Sending them an email: Emails can be a nice middle point between cards and calls—they’re easy to send, and you can write a longer message or even include a heartwarming visual or photo of the two of you. They also don’t imply the need for a more immediate response from the recipient.
Section 10 of 11:

Can I use humor when speaking to a sick friend?

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  1. Consider your friend’s mood and your relationship dynamic. Before throwing in a funny joke with your “get well” message , it’s important to read the room. Does your sick friend seem like they need a distraction? Do they seem tired of talking about their illness? Are you typically the friend they turn to when they need a bit of levity and humor, rather than sympathy? If you can’t give an easy “yes” to any of these questions, it’s probably best to play it safe and skip the humor. [18]
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Section 11 of 11:

Key Takeaways for Speaking to Someone Who’s Sick

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  1. There’s no one right way to respond to someone when they tell you that they’re sick. However, there are certain things to keep in mind as you continue to talk to and support them. From the do’s to the don’ts, here are the most important things to remember as you interact with anyone who isn’t feeling their best:
    • Listen to them with empathy and let them guide the conversation.
    • Keep being yourself and try to keep treating your friend as normally as possible.
    • Avoid giving advice or asking tons of questions, unless they invite you to.
    • Try not to take it personally if they ever seem distant or angry—it’s not about you.
    • Avoid making things seem better or worse than they are. Be realistic and genuine.
    • Save heavy emotions for when they aren’t around. Vent to other friends, not them.
    EXPERT TIP

    Eze Sanchez

    Life & Relationship Coach
    Eze Sanchez is a Life & Relationship Coach and the Founder of Eze Sanchez Coaching in Gainesville, Florida. He's been practicing as a coach since late 2016 and has more than 1,000 hours of collective training and experience in personal development. He specializes in helping people find self-acceptance, self-empathy, and self-love through building accountability and kindness for themselves. Eze has an Associates Degree in Mechanical Engineering from the University of Central Florida, a diploma in Massage Therapy from the Florida School of Massage, and a certificate from the Satvatove Institute School of Transformative Coaching.
    Eze Sanchez
    Life & Relationship Coach

    Begin with empathy, or a verbal reflection of what they’re experiencing. Empathy could be something like, "I imagine that this is frustrating to not be able to do some of the things you love to do." And then get the yes or no from them, rather than imposing your own opinion of what you think this must be like for them.


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  • Question
    How do you comfort a sick person over text?
    Eze Sanchez
    Life & Relationship Coach
    Eze Sanchez is a Life & Relationship Coach and the Founder of Eze Sanchez Coaching in Gainesville, Florida. He's been practicing as a coach since late 2016 and has more than 1,000 hours of collective training and experience in personal development. He specializes in helping people find self-acceptance, self-empathy, and self-love through building accountability and kindness for themselves. Eze has an Associates Degree in Mechanical Engineering from the University of Central Florida, a diploma in Massage Therapy from the Florida School of Massage, and a certificate from the Satvatove Institute School of Transformative Coaching.
    Eze Sanchez
    Life & Relationship Coach
    Expert Answer
    Try to respond with empathy by giving them a verbal reflection of either what you hear they're experiencing or what you imagine that they're experiencing (if they haven't said anything). For instance, you could say "I imagine that this is very painful and maybe frustrating to not be able to do some of things you love to do."
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.southernliving.com/culture/what-to-write-get-well-card
      2. ↑ https://www.nm.org/healthbeat/healthy-tips/emotional-health/the-best-and-worst-ways-to-support-a-friend-with-a-serious-illness
      3. ↑ https://www.cancer.org/cancer/caregivers/when-someone-you-know-has-cancer.html
      4. ↑ https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/docs/default-source/members/sigs/spirituality-spsig/spirituality-special-interest-group-publications-fenwick-nearing-the-end-of-life-guide.pdf?sfvrsn=ef164fa6_2
      5. ↑ https://www.caringbridge.org/resources/what-to-say-to-someone-before-surgery
      6. ↑ https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/psychology/open-ended-question
      7. ↑ https://www.countryliving.com/life/a43553648/get-well-soon-messages/
      8. ↑ https://www.groupgreeting.com/blog/2023/12/16/what-to-tell-a-coworker-who-is-sick/
      9. ↑ https://www.nm.org/healthbeat/healthy-tips/emotional-health/the-best-and-worst-ways-to-support-a-friend-with-a-serious-illness
      1. ↑ https://momentumunlimited.org/blog/2019/02/07/my-friend-is-sick-why-dont-i-know-what-say/
      2. ↑ https://www.loveboxfoundation.org/blog/love-notes-for-a-sick-friend-doctor-or-nurse
      3. ↑ https://childrenscancer.org/what-to-say-when-theres-nothing-to-say/
      4. ↑ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2563280/
      5. ↑ https://www.aubreeoriginals.com/6-steps-to-the-perfect-get-well-gift-basket/
      6. ↑ https://www.kansashealthsystem.com/news-room/blog/2020/03/how-to-help
      7. ↑ https://www.mamamia.com.au/rosters-for-helping-sick-friends/
      8. ↑ https://www.kansashealthsystem.com/news-room/blog/2020/03/how-to-help
      9. ↑ https://hub.jhu.edu/magazine/2016/summer/humor-therapy-nursing-medicine/

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