22 Signs You’ll Never Get Married (But Will Still Be Happy Anyway)

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Marriage can be daunting. The relationships, the commitments, the financial questions. There can be loads of pressure to get hitched–from parents, friends, even ourselves–but is marriage for everyone? Is it a realistic option for you? Would it even be possible? Here are 20 reasons you’ll never get married, and why that might not be such a bad thing after all.

Things You Should Know

  • If you enjoy being single or value your sexual freedom, marriage might be not be a good fit for you.
  • Having divorced parents or divorced friends can give you a negative opinion on marriage, and make it less likely to happen for you.
  • People who weren't raised religious are less likely to get married, compared to those who were.
  • If you don't believe in marriage as an institution or find fulfillment in your other relationships, you could be less likely to get married.
1

You enjoy being single.

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  1. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s perfectly possible to live a full and meaningful life without sticking a ring on it. [1] Satisfaction comes in many forms, and not everyone will be satisfied by marriage.
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2

Your standards are high.

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  1. There’s a lot to consider before getting married to someone, like your compatibility with your partner, their career, whether they want children, etc. Wanting someone who checks all the boxes isn’t a bad thing, it’s actually pretty prudent. [2] Of course, it could mean you’ll never find anyone who does pass every test, but maybe you’re better off without them, then.
3

You’re afraid of commitment.

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  1. You’re committing yourself to one person, and maybe even one way of life, for what might be the rest of your life. That’s a lot to ask someone, and for some people it’s too much. There are plenty of ways to express your affection and commitment to another person without making vows. [3]
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4

You’re afraid of divorce.

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  1. Maybe your own parents got divorced, or you have friends whose relationships ended that way. Divorce is a common occurrence, and it’s a risk you have to consider. Maybe that’s a risk you’re more comfortable not taking. [4]
5

You value your sexual freedom.

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  1. Many marriages are monogamous, and many partners require that you only ever sleep with them. It’s totally understandable to value your own independence. [5]
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6

You don’t believe in marriage as a concept.

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  1. And you’re not alone: more and more young people aren’t subscribing to what passes as “traditional” marriage. [6] You might find the whole deal outdated–signing a contract to be together with one person indefinitely might not align with your ideals, and you could be better off looking for alternative arrangements in your romantic relationships.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 348 wikiHow readers what they think of marriage, and 73% of them said that marriage is important to them and they plan to get married one day. [Take Poll] It might feel like every single person around you plans to get married, and maybe it is the majority—but there are still many people who believe the same things as you (the stats prove it!).
7

You don’t need marriage to feel fulfilled.

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  1. It doesn’t need to be romantic relationship, or even any sort of relationship with another person. You might find your career fulfilling enough, or your hobbies or how you spend your time otherwise. [7] If you’re already happy with your life as it is, why look for something you don’t need or even want?
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8

You’ve already lived with your partner for years.

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  1. There are a number of reasons this might be: one partner might not want to get married, and living with them influences the other partner’s own opinion in the same direction. Or, it could be that you and your partner are just comfortable living together without getting married, and so don’t feel the need to shake things up with a legally-binding contract. [8] Whatever the reason, your relationship is working already, so why mess with it?
9

You resist other people’s expectations.

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  1. Today, marriage is often viewed as the expected end-game of a relationship. But if you tend to defy expectations, it’s only natural for you to defy the expectation of marriage, too. [9]
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10

You have life plans that don’t involve marriage.

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  1. Many people who aim for marriage want a long-term relationship, and even to have kids. If your interests and passions lie somewhere else, why distract yourself with marriage? There are plenty of other worthy goals to have, and many of them don’t involve a ring around your finger. [10]
11

You don’t want to jeopardize your own identity.

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  1. After all, many people who choose to get married also change their last name, and they have a whole other person to consider when making big life decisions . But you know who you are and you want to be true to yourself without compromising that. [11]
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12

You’re committed to your other relationships.

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  1. Marriage is just one of many ways to interact with and be close to people, and it’s not necessarily the best way. You might be someone who feels satisfied and fulfilled with your relationships with friends, family, and peers, and marriage doesn’t even need to factor into your social web. [12]
13

You don’t want to have kids.

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  1. In addition, many men want to wait to have kids, and many women don’t. [13] The subject of children can be a divisive one, and maybe one you’d rather not touch at all. Not wanting kids is a dealbreaker for a lot of potential partners, but it doesn’t have to mean you throw in the towel and get hitched. You can also be in a relationship without getting married or having kids–the best of both worlds! [14]
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14

You think marriage is too complicated.

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  1. When you make vows, there’s plenty to consider: what to do with your money, if you’ll have children, if you’ll be monogamous. You don’t have to worry about those questions when you’re single, and not worrying about is as good an answer as any. [15] There’s nothing wrong with wanting to keep your simplicity and freedom.
15

You’ve never really thought about it.

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  1. There are plenty of other things to worry about, and you don’t need marriage to add another one. Or maybe marriage just doesn’t fit with your own personality and interests, the way plenty of people have never considered taking up horseback riding. Whatever the reason, if marriage doesn’t seem to concern you, there’s probably no reason it should start concerning you now. [16]
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16

You don’t want to live with someone else.

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  1. Most couples who take the vows move in together as part of the expectations that come with marriage, but you’re more comfortable going it alone. Not all couples cohabitate, and plenty of couples are perfectly happy commuting to each others’ homes rather than sharing a bathroom forever. [17]
17

You don’t have a stable job.

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  1. And it does make sense–much of marriage is about stability, and many potential partners are looking for a partner with decent income. [18] But that doesn’t mean you should sacrifice the job or the lifestyle you enjoy just to make another person happy.
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18

The person you’re dating doesn’t want to get married.

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  1. Maybe one of these reasons applies to your partner, and not necessarily to you. You can’t force your partner to get married, and so marriage might just not be a possible route for your relationship. [19] You can still remain in a loving and committed partnership without getting up on an altar.
19

You’re not religious.

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  1. After all, many religions value marriage as a necessary step in a romantic relationship, and religious people are more likely to be in a relationship than those who aren’t. [20] But if you’re not religious, marriage might not mean as much to you, and you might not be in such a hurry to get hitched. [21]
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20

You come from a nontraditional family.

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  1. If you come from a home that existed outside the model of the nuclear family, it could be that marriage just isn’t your cup of tea. [22] And if that unconventional home life worked for you as a kid, why shouldn’t it work as an adult?
21

You’re asexual.

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  1. Many married people expect sex to be a regular component of their relationship, but your sexuality doesn’t factor sex into the picture at all. It can be tough (but not impossible!) to find an understanding partner. [23] In the meantime, consider the upsides of being single!
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22

You just don’t want to get married.

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  1. Sure, there are plenty of logical, rational, financial, and social reasons you might never get married, or even want to get married, but it doesn’t have to be that complicated either. It could just be that even the word “marriage” puts a bad taste in your mouth, and that’s okay, too. [24]

Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    What to say when someone asks why you're not married?
    Kemar & DeAnne Johnson
    Relationship Experts
    Kemar & DeAnne Johnson are Relationship Experts and Hosts of the “It’s Relational Podcast”. They specialize in effective communication and thorough comprehension as well as maintaining a healthy intimate relationship. They are high school sweethearts who have been married for over eight years and together for over 13 years. They have co-authored an Ebook called “The Top 25 Tips to Have a Beautiful Long Lasting Relationship.” They are also proud Jamaicans who value their roots, upbringing, and culture very much! They both attended Herbert H. Lehman High School and CUNY New York City College of Technology.
    Kemar & DeAnne Johnson
    Relationship Experts
    Expert Answer
    Well, this is always going to be a nagging question for everybody. It usually takes a little bit of a tough answer to give people when asked that. If you answer something like, "Oh, down the line we're going to do it” or other unsure answer, you'll open up a Pandora's box for people to question your relationship. So try to tell them to be patient and say that you'll marry when you both feel ready to take that step.
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      • Rather than focusing on what you’re missing by not getting married, focus on the positives! You have the freedom to make your own decisions and be the person you want to be, without someone else interfering.
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      • Find fulfillment in your other relationships. Your friends and family can offer plenty of opportunities for affection and care. Try to be more mindful of the platonic relationships in your life.
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      • Explore other relationship options. Alternative forms of romance are becoming more standard and widely accepted. You don’t need to be married to take part in a loving and fulfilling relationship.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201311/top-8-reasons-not-marry
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201311/top-8-reasons-not-marry
      3. ↑ https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/cant-make-commitment/
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201311/top-8-reasons-not-marry
      5. ↑ https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/dont-want-relationship/
      6. ↑ https://www.bentley.edu/news/nowuknow-why-millennials-refuse-get-married
      7. ↑ https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2019/07/case-against-marriage/591973/
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/199803/not-married-and-not-interested
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/202009/record-number-americans-have-never-married-and-never-will
      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201011/time-calls-marriage-luxury-yacht-remember-what-happened-the-last-cruise
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201311/top-8-reasons-not-marry
      3. ↑ https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2019/07/case-against-marriage/591973/
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/valley-girl-brain/201302/why-you-arent-married-yet
      5. ↑ < https://www.bentley.edu/news/nowuknow-why-millennials-refuse-get-married
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201311/top-8-reasons-not-marry
      7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/valley-girl-brain/201302/why-you-arent-married-yet
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/valley-girl-brain/201302/why-you-arent-married-yet
      9. ↑ https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-share-of-never-married-americans-has-reached-a-new-high
      10. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200407/the-marrying-kind
      11. ↑ https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-share-of-never-married-americans-has-reached-a-new-high
      12. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200407/the-marrying-kind
      13. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200407/the-marrying-kind
      14. ↑ https://slate.com/human-interest/2022/01/no-interest-sex-advice.html
      15. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/202009/record-number-americans-have-never-married-and-never-will

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