How to Tell If Your Ex Is Waiting for You & What to Do about It

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Relationship experts point out signals that your ex wants you to rekindle the relationship
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Breakups are never easy, especially as you come to terms with losing someone so important to you. In the aftermath of a breakup, you might even find yourself looking for signs that your ex wants you back—but how can you know for sure if the signs are there? That’s where we can help. If you’re wondering whether a reunion might be possible for you and your ex, keep reading. Our comprehensive list of signs can help you figure out whether your ex is waiting for you and, if so, what to do about it.

Things You Should Know

  • Your ex may try to reconnect with you, establishing contact and catching you up to speed on their life since the breakup. They may even ask you to hang out.
  • They may tell you they want to be friends once more and even turn to you for help and personal advice to show you that you’re important to them.
  • When you need help, your ex will make themselves extremely available to you. It’s their way of showing you that you’re still a priority to them.
  • Your ex might even apologize and take responsibility for their past mistakes and work on improving themselves as they wait for you.
1

Your ex reaches out and contact you.

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  1. After a breakup, it’s normal to need space from one another; some exes go no-contact as they come to terms with what happened. So, if your ex texts or calls you after a period of radio silence, they might be reaching out because they’ve decided they miss you and want you back. [1]
    • Before you decide to start talking or get close to your ex again, reflect on the breakup. Why did it happen? Do you feel comfortable re-establishing contact ?
    • If your ex was toxic (manipulative, unsupportive, dishonest, or even abusive), cutting them off completely is likely your best option. However, if you truly miss your ex and want to try again, responding could be the right move.
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2

They share details about their life.

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  1. Once the two of you are talking again, does your ex start filling you in on everything that happened since the breakup? From personal updates to professional developments, big and small, they might tell you everything in detail. This proves how much you meant to them before—and how much they want to connect with you now. [2]
    • There’s no definitive rule on how much you should talk to your ex and share with them. Generally, it comes down to your specific situation and comfort level.
    • If things ended amicably, you might be totally fine chatting with them relatively soon after the breakup. If things ended badly, you might need some time to heal.
3

They want to be friends again.

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  1. Has your ex expressed a desire to be friends again out of the blue? If they directly tell you that they’d really like to be friends again, they may still have feelings for you and want to be part of your life once more. In fact, friendship may be their subtle way of getting close to you while they wait for you to rekindle the relationship. [3]
    • If you're not sure whether your ex wants to be friends or more, study their behavior. If they’re extremely friendly and agreeable, even after a painful split, they may be waiting for you.
    • Take care to set boundaries with your ex if you’re still getting over the breakup. Give yourself whatever time and space you might still need, and if you aren’t ready for friendship yet, tell them so.
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4

Your ex follows you on social media.

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  1. Did your ex block you on social media after the breakup, only to suddenly follow you again? Or did they never stop following you at all? An ex who still follows you and looks at all of your posts and photos might miss you and be quietly hoping that you’ll come back to them in time.
    • Of course, it’s possible that your ex forgot to unfollow you or hasn’t worked up the nerve to remove all their photos and mentions of you yet.
    • Still, you can usually tell if they’re waiting for you based on their behavior. If they regularly like or even leave positive comments on your posts, they may still have feelings for you.
    • Don’t be afraid to block your ex if you feel like you need some more space. It can take time to heal from a breakup , and you’re entitled to as much distance as you need.
5

Your ex asks you for advice.

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  1. If your ex still trusts you and feels like there could be a connection between the two of you, they might turn to you for help and advice—even before they turn to friends or family. They might ask for anything from your opinion on a professional dilemma to a recommendation on what movie they should watch that night. [4]
    • Feel free to offer your ex advice if you’re interested in reconciling, too. However, it’s a good idea to take some time and consider the situation before you start helping them.
    • Ask yourself if you’re comfortable giving them emotional support right now or if you might need some more time. Be honest with yourself; the most important thing is doing what’s healthy for you!
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6

They make plans to meet up with you.

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  1. While some exes might want to meet up in order to get closure from the breakup, an ex who is waiting for you may ask you if you’d like to hang out just for the fun of it. They’ll also be proactive, taking the initiative, replying to your texts quickly, and doing whatever they can to ensure the two of you meet up.
    • Your ex may also “accidentally” bump into you. Since they know all your favorite places to go (restaurants, coffee shops, grocery stores, and more), they might start visiting those places, hoping to see you.
    • If you don’t want to keep running into your ex, it may help to tell them that you aren’t ready to see them yet. Set a hard boundary, so they know where you stand, and go no-contact with them for a while.
    • Decide for yourself if it ever feels like your ex is getting out of hand. If they make you feel unsafe or threatened, don’t hesitate to file a police report and request a restraining order. Your safety and security come first!
7

They remember important dates.

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  1. Do you still get sweet texts from your ex wishing you a happy birthday or a happy holiday? Do they even remember the dates like a sibling’s birthday or your parent’s anniversary? If your ex still has feelings for you and can’t get you out of their mind, they’ll most likely remember dates that matter to you. [5]
    • You can sometimes tell if a text means something more based on the tone your ex uses. If they’re waiting for you, they’ll likely add a personal touch to the message and keep the chat going after.
    • For example, they might write, “Happy Birthday! I hope you had a brilliant day. You deserve it.” Then, if you respond, they might follow up with something like, “So, how’d you celebrate? Anything big?”
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8

Your ex is always available to you.

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  1. When you text them, do they respond as fast as they can? If you need help, do they come running—even at their own expense? Though your relationship is over, do they still give you their time, energy, and advice? Your ex may be trying to show you how much they cherish you (and be your knight in shining armor once in a while).
    • For example, if you got stranded at work and needed a ride home, your ex might eagerly step in to help you. If you needed advice on how to deal with a family problem, your ex would offer support right away.
    • Accept their help if you’re also interested in getting back together—but if you’re not, it’s best to tell them so rather than keeping them on the hook.
9

They’re still single.

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  1. Has it been months since the breakup, but your ex still hasn’t started dating again, even casually? If they’re waiting for you, your ex might not show any desire to date someone else in the meantime. They might even drop hints that they’re single around you, trying to see if you react. [6]
    • For example, they might say something like, “Looks like it’s just my cat and me this Valentine’s Day! What about you?” or make a gloomy social media post about being single.
    • On the other hand, if they’re not still single, your ex might introduce you to their new date. Do they insist you get to know their date or get a little lovey-dovey in front of you? They might be trying to make you jealous.
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10

They’re curious about your relationship status.

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  1. Does your ex casually ask if you’ve been seeing anybody or if you could see yourself dating again in the near future? If they’re preoccupied with your love life, they may be trying to find out if they still have a chance with you. This is especially true if they also stay single during this time. [7]
    • They might even ask your friends about you, too. If your friends report that your ex asked them about your relationship status, they’re probably waiting for you.
    • If you are dating someone, your ex might get jealous. If they seem upset or excuse themselves when you mention your date, they could be jealous.
11

Your ex feels regretful about the breakup.

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  1. Has your ex said that they blame themselves for the breakup or apologized for their part in it? An ex who is waiting for you probably regrets the events that led to your breakup and may even put all the blame on themselves (whether or not that’s accurate). They may even hope you’ll take them back if they apologize. [8]
    • If your ex did do something hurtful leading up to the breakup, showing regret and apologizing is a great first step towards getting back together (if that’s what you want).
    • However, the two of you will still need to work through your problems first. If you don’t, those problems will likely resurface (or worsen) in the new relationship.
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12

They take responsibility for their mistakes.

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  1. Does your ex want to discuss the events leading up to the breakup and find solutions to mistakes that they made? Have they accepted responsibility for their actions and asked if they can make it up to you? If your ex shows a genuine desire to understand where they went wrong before, they could be trying to get you back. [9]
    • If you’re interested in rekindling the relationship, your ex taking responsibility for their mistakes is an excellent sign that they’re ready to do the same.
    • Holding themselves accountable is a sign that your ex has matured and is prepared to make changes to build a healthier relationship going forward—which is exactly what you’ll need to do if you reunite.
13

Your ex is trying to improve themselves.

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  1. Your ex has expressed regret and taken responsibility for their bad habits; are they now putting genuine effort into fixing those problems? If your ex is making significant improvements in their life, they may understand that they’ll need to do more than wait for you—they’ll also need to show you that they’re capable of change.
    • For example, say they were always late to everything while you dated, and you felt neglected and disrespected as a result.
    • If your ex is waiting for you to come back, they might become very punctual whenever they do something with you to show you that things will improve if you give them another chance.
    • Rekindling a romance with an ex is very possible, but the most important part of that process is confronting old issues that could resurface. By doing that, your ex is trying to show you how serious they are about reuniting.
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14

Your ex reminisces about your time together.

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  1. Does your ex talk about their fondest memories from the relationship, often totally unprompted? When they’re waiting for you to come back (and pining for you in the meantime), your ex might continually bring up the “good old days” and their happiest moments with you, from your first date to a fun trip you took together.
    • They might bring up things that remind them of you. For example, they might say something like, “I passed by our favorite restaurant today. Remember all those times we’d go there and spend hours talking?”
    • Your ex may also frequently say things like, “We were so good together!” or “Being with you felt so right.”
15

They start flirting with you.

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  1. If your ex is waiting for you, they may start flirting with you to see if you feel the same way. They may use coy body language at first, then progress to teasing banter and suggestive comments when you’re together. They might also send you playful texts here and there to show you that they definitely still have feelings for you. [10]
    • Flirty body language includes prolonged, intense eye contact and touchy-feely behavior. When you’re together, your ex might find an excuse to touch your hand or lean into you so your forearms touch.
    • You may be able to tell when they start flirting since they’ll sound more like they did when you were dating. For example, they might text something like, “What’s cooking, good looking?” or “Hey, gorgeous. How are you today?”
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16

Your ex tells you that they miss you.

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  1. Have you gotten an emotional text from your ex claiming that they miss you or miss doing something with you? Chances are, saying that they miss you is your ex’s way of showing you that they’re waiting for you without having to come right out and say it.
    • For example, your ex might say something like, “I miss those nights we’d just fall asleep together on the couch, talking about everything. You’re so easy to talk to.”
    • Your ex may even drunkenly text or call you once or twice to say they miss you. However, they should be able to talk to you (and express their feelings) while sober, too.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 397 wikiHow readers for helpful ways to move forward with your ex after getting back together, and only 8% of them said Set boundaries about bringing up our past relationship. [Take Poll]
      • If you're open to getting back together, it might be best to put setting boundaries about your past on the back burner until you've both had a chance to start moving forward.

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      Tips

      • The more of these signs they exhibit, the more likely it is that your ex is waiting for you. If you only spot one or two, it’s also possible they’re just trying to be friendly. Remember to be careful and talk to your ex before jumping to conclusions either way.
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        Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0
      • Some couples get back together 1 to 3 months after their breakup, while others take a bit longer. Generally, however, most couples that reunite do so within 6 months of breaking up.
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        Helpful 2 Not Helpful 2
      • At the end of the day, if you decide that you want to reunite with your ex, the best way to handle the situation is to be honest and upfront about your intentions. Ask them out for a drink or to hang out casually, and let them know you’re interested in them romantically.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/laugh-cry-live/201305/after-the-break-up-what-if-he-wants-you-back
      2. ↑ https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/7-questions-to-ask-before-getting-back-together-with-an-ex/
      3. ↑ https://www.npr.org/2024/05/31/g-s1-1851/should-you-stay-friends-with-your-ex
      4. ↑ https://www.raq.org.au/blog/can-you-be-friends-your-ex
      5. ↑ https://www.bps.org.uk/research-digest/reasons-we-stay-friends-ex
      6. ↑ https://www.southcarolinapublicradio.org/2024-06-01/can-friendship-work-with-an-ex-3-questions-to-ask-yourself
      7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/sex-sociability/201709/can-you-remain-friends-your-ex
      8. ↑ https://www.npr.org/2024/05/31/g-s1-1851/should-you-stay-friends-with-your-ex
      9. ↑ https://www.researchgate.net/publication/318184933_Staying_friends_with_ex-romantic_partners_Predictors_reasons_and_outcomes_Friendship_with_ex-romantic_partners
      1. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/how-to-flirt/

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