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If you've got your eye on a guy, you've probably thought about sliding into his DMs. It's a great way to make your first move, but there are few things to keep in mind before you go through with it. To make sure you get a reply and not just a read receipt, follow these key tips.

1

Make sure your profile reflects your personality.

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  1. Is your profile picture an image of you, or is it a screenshot from a cartoon? Make sure you're sharing some great photos of yourself and noting your interests on your profile so your personality shines. [1]
    • Share pictures that highlight your interests, like images of you roller skating, playing an instrument, or hanging out at the beach.
    • Try not to feel pressure to look a certain way to seem appealing to him. Being proud of who you are is a super attractive quality! [2]
    • If you don't like having pictures of yourself online, that's okay, too. Just make sure you introduce yourself or tell him who you are when you DM him.
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3

Ask about something on his profile to break the ice.

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  1. If he's got a bunch of pictures of himself surfing, ask what beach is featured in his photos. Perhaps his Twitter is all retweets from different musicians he likes. DM him a question about his favorite bands. He'll likely be flattered by your interest and answer! [3]
    • Try something like, "Hey that surfing picture is awesome! What beach is that?" or "I love Blink-182, too. What's your favorite album?"
    • Reader Poll: We asked 235 wikiHow readers how they initiate a conversation with a guy online, and 49% said talk about something on his profile. [Take Poll]
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5

Ask him for a recommendation.

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  1. If you're unfamiliar with a lot of things he likes, ask if he's got any suggestions for cool things to check out. This could include bands, movies, books, and even local artists worth supporting. Start by complimenting his taste to make your message friendly and flirty.
    • Perhaps he's always referencing books that he likes. DM him something like, "I love all the books you've been posting about lately! I'm looking for new stuff to read. Do you have any recommendations?"
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6

Bring up how you two know each other.

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  1. Be sure to include some personalized details, whether it be the messages you shared on Tinder, the funny conversation you had at a party, or the fact that you both go to the same university. If you've never met but share mutual friends or interests, reference those.
    • If you've never met, say, "Hey my name's Sharon! We're in the same English 101 class."
    • Maybe you met at a party and bonded over your shared interest in graphic novels. Message him, "Hey it's Rob! We met last weekend. I ended up checking out that book you recommended. It was so awesome!"
9

Keep the convo going with open-ended questions.

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  1. Avoid asking questions with yes or no answers, as these can make the conversation come to an end sooner. As you continue to message back and forth, respond with what comes naturally. It's totally normal to be a little nervous, but try not to take too much time thinking of the perfect response so you don't slow down the convo. [7]
    • For example, if you've been talking about his interest in playing guitar, ask him something like, "How did you first get into guitar?"
    • Follow that with your own experience with guitar: "I've always wanted to play guitar, but I ended up taking piano lessons growing up instead" or "I play guitar, too. I like playing electric especially. What about you?"
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10

Ask him to hang out in person.

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  1. After sending a few messages back and forth, ask him if he would ever want to meet up in person. [8] If you don't live in the same area, suggest that the two of you get together if you're ever in the same city. [9] Once he says yes, give him your phone number or ask him for his to take things off social media. That way you can start texting about your fun new plans. [10]
    • Message him, "I really like talking to you. Would you ever want to get a drink?" You can also suggest getting dinner, seeing a movie, or hanging out at a park.
    • If you're not in the same city, try, "Let me know if you're ever in town! I'd love to meet up and get dinner."

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      Expert Interview

      Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about online dating, check out our in-depth interview with Christina Jay, NLP .

      1. Christina Jay, NLP. Matchmaker & Certified Life Coach. Expert Interview. 11 February 2020.

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