What Does "Sorry to Hear That" Mean?

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Learn how (and when) to use this sympathetic phrase
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If you’ve ever let someone know that you’re going through a tough time, you’ve probably heard the reply, “I’m sorry to hear that.” Generally, you use this phrase to express your sympathy to someone. If you want to learn more about the phrase “sorry to hear that,” you’ve come to the right place! We’ll provide a definition and explain how to use the phrase in conversation. We’ll also provide alternatives if your looking for a different way to express sympathy, so keep reading!

Things You Should Know

  • "Sorry to hear that” is a phrase used to express sympathy when someone tells you sad or unpleasant news.
  • It is a perfectly acceptable way to express your sorrows, but it’s a bit formal on its own.
  • To make the phrase more meaningful, add personal details and offer your support to the person who is struggling.
Section 1 of 3:

“Sorry to Hear That” Definition

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  1. It’s usually offered as a reply when someone tells you sad or unpleasant news. [1] Here are some examples of “sorry to hear that” in conversation:
    • Person 1 : “My girlfriend just broke up with me last night.”
      Person 2 : “Oh no, I’m sorry to hear that! I know you really cared about her.”
    • Person 1 : “I’m bummed because I just heard I didn’t get that job I applied for.”
      Person 2 :“I’m so sorry to hear that! I know you’ll find a great job soon.”
    • Person 1 : “I just got word that my grandfather passed away.”
      Person 2 : “I’m truly so sorry to hear that. I know you two were close.”
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Section 2 of 3:

How to Use "Sorry to Hear That"

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  1. “Sorry to hear that” is a polite and acceptable way to express sympathy , though it can come across as formal or detached on its own. If you’re talking to someone you don’t know well, it’s appropriate to simply say “I’m so sorry to hear that." If you’re talking to someone you’re closer to, add personal details and offer support to make the phrase more meaningful. [2] For example:
    • “I’m truly sorry to hear about your grandmother's passing. She was an incredible woman. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.”
    • “I’m sorry to hear you didn’t get into the school you were hoping for. You’re so talented, intelligent and capable—it’s truly their loss!”
    • “I’m so sorry to hear about the break-up. I know you must be hurting right now, so if there’s anything I can do to help or cheer you up, I’m here for you!”
Section 3 of 3:

Alternatives to “Sorry to Hear That”

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  1. When a loved one is going through a tough time, your first instinct might be to “cheer them up.” Your intentions might be good, but this can make them feel like they can’t share their difficult emotions with you. Instead, tell them you're there to talk about their feelings (whatever they may be). Remember, they likely just want to feel heard. [3]
    • Avoid saying things like, “You’ll feel better in no time,” or “Things could be worse.”
    • Simply let them know that you’re ready to listen, and that they can be completely honest about how they’re feeling. [4]
  2. It’s natural to want to offer your “thoughts and prayers” to someone who's struggling. However, because this phrase has become so overused, it’s now seen as hollow and inauthentic. [5] To avoid sounding insincere, be specific and personal when you’re telling someone they are in your thoughts and prayers.
    • “I’ve been thinking of you since I heard about your father’s passing. I’m sending love your way and praying you’ve been able to find peace.”
    • “I heard about your diagnosis, and I just wanted to let you know that I’ve been thinking of you. I hope you’re feeling okay, and I’m wishing you strength.” [6]
  3. When someone goes through a difficult event, like the death of a loved one or a mental health crisis, they may struggle with their everyday needs. While expressing your sympathy, offer to help them with basic tasks or chores. [7] This gives them one less thing to worry about, so they can focus on healing.
    • “I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m available to drop off dinners for your family this week, so you don’t have to worry about cooking. Just let me know what days work best for you!”
    • “I know you’re going through a tough time right now with the divorce. If you need any help with getting the kids to school, they are completely welcome to carpool with my kids.”
    • “I’m so sorry you’re struggling with your mental health. I’m free to come over this weekend to do some laundry and help out around the house, if that works for you.” [8]
  4. Sometimes, your presence alone is enough to let them know you care . If your loved one is not quite ready to talk about their difficult situation, simply offer to be in the same physical space as them. [9] This helps them feel less alone without pressuring them to open up.
    • “I know you said you weren’t ready to talk about what you’re going through, but do you want to have a movie night? We can hang out and get your mind off things.”
    • “I’m so sorry about everything. I can come over with ice cream, cookies, and face masks if you want to relax and have a self-care night.”
  5. When you’re trying to be sympathetic toward someone, you might feel tempted to talk about a similar situation you went through to relate. Your heart may be in the right place, but this shifts the focus of the conversation to you instead of them. To avoid this, validate their emotions and resist the urge to say you know exactly how they’re feeling. [10]
    • “Thank you so much for sharing your emotions with me. That sounds really tough, and I’m so sorry you’re in pain.”
    • “I’m so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how you’re feeling right now, and I want you to know you can talk to me about anything.”
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/sorry
      2. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-help-someone-going-through-a-tough-time
      3. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/refuge-in-grief
      4. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/refuge-in-grief
      5. ↑ https://www.dictionary.com/e/history-phrase-thoughts-prayers/
      6. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/what-to-say-when-someone-is-sick-tips
      7. ↑ https://www.colorado.edu/ova/ways-express-sympathy
      8. ↑ https://www.samhsa.gov/mental-health/how-to-talk/friends-and-family-members
      9. ↑ https://www.colorado.edu/ova/ways-express-sympathy
      1. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-help-someone-going-through-a-tough-time

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