How to Take Life Less Seriously and Live a Happier Life

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Learn how to loosen up and enjoy your life
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If you've been accused of taking life too seriously, you're not alone. It's easy to get caught up in all of the demands that life can throw at you and forget to pause and share some laughter or a smile—but that's no way to live! That's why we talked to several expert life coaches to find out what you can do to stop taking life quite so seriously and start enjoying the time you have.

Taking Life Less Seriously

If you want to stop taking life so seriously, start by pausing to acknowledge and appreciate the moment. The more you can stay in the present, the less anxiety you're likely to feel. Accept change as an opportunity to learn and grow.

Section 1 of 3:

Best Ways to Stop Taking Life So Seriously

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  1. When you find yourself taking something perhaps a little too seriously, shake yourself out of it by putting things in perspective. Often, as much as something is annoying you in the minute, you can pull yourself out of that mindset if you realize that you probably won't even remember it happening in the short-term future. [1]
    • Focus on what's really important and what will really make a difference in your life, rather than getting worked up about something just because it doesn't go the way you might want.
  2. If you take things too seriously, you're also likely to take things personally. You might jump to conclusions about what someone meant without considering other equally likely possibilities. [2]
    • For example, if someone points out to you that you have a small stain on your shirt, they're likely just trying to be helpful—not imply that you're not able to look presentable.
    • Keep in mind that most people don't have some hidden agenda and aren't trying to send you any hints that go beyond what they literally said.
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  3. Being able to find the humor in life doesn't mean that you're being immature or not taking things seriously. It's totally possible to laugh at a situation while also taking the steps necessary to deal with it. Being able to laugh at your own mistakes is the first step toward taking life—and yourself—less seriously. [3]
    • Licensed clinical psychologist and professional life coach Susan Pazak notes that "when we take life and situations so seriously, we do not allow ourselves to find humor in much of anything," and advises that you "watch funny shows and cartoons or read comics to allow yourself to laugh. Laughter is medicine to the soul."
  4. You never know where life is going to take you and no matter what you do, you can't control or predict the future. When you focus on the present and eliminate your attachment to a particular outcome, it's a lot easier to relax and let go. Developing the mental flexibility to accept the future as it comes is a huge part of not taking life too seriously. [4]
    • Executive life coach Guy Reichard recommends becoming open-minded and non-attached, so that you can "accept change, deal with how [you] feel about it, [and] find something positive to look forward to."
  5. Take a long, hard look at how you're thinking about things. Make a list of the things that you value the most and challenge any beliefs or assumptions you have that run counter to those values. You'll take things less seriously when you can replace those beliefs or assumptions with more positive ones. [5]
    • Life coach Taylor Rochestie believes "a great thing is to have an endless thankfulness type of mentality."
    • "I like to believe what you seek is what you'll find," Rochestie continues. "If you're actively seeking ways to be thankful, your mind is filled with surrounding yourself with positive types of feelings, positive emotions, positive thoughts, positive words."
  6. It's easy to get stuck in a rut and fall into the trap or tedium. Even a small departure from your routine, such as taking a different route to work, will remind you to pause and focus on things that you'd normally miss. It also keeps you out of your head and more focused on the present moment. [6]
    • These little detours and breaks from routine can also enhance your creativity by knocking your brain out of autopilot and forcing you to focus on the present.
  7. Taking things too seriously creates a self-perpetuating cycle of stress. Starting a meditation practice is a great way to improve the ability you have to cope with stress and relieve tension. Breathing exercises , positive affirmations , and keeping a journal will also help. [7]
    • Make long-term lifestyle changes, such as eating healthy foods and exercising regularly. This will also improve your ability to handle stress .
  8. Dance, aerobics, or any kind of expressive movement helps loosen you up mentally and physically. Not only is it great exercise, it also gives you an outlet for emotional expression. [8]
    • Taking a class in dance, yoga, aerobics, or even improvisational comedy is a great way to meet others and also practice letting loose in the presence of others, which will help you stop taking life too seriously.
  9. Music doesn't just make time go by a little faster, it can help you stop taking life too seriously. Upbeat music can motivate you and keep you alert while soothing classical can relax you. There's even evidence that music can reduce anxiety and increase emotional expression. [9]
    • Soothing classical or down-tempo music can also help you relax if you're feeling particularly tense and stressed out.
  10. Making time to laugh every day builds up your sense of humor so that you can more readily find the humor in daily life. Here are some things you can try: [10]
    • Watch a funny TV show, movie, or video
    • Visit a comedy club
    • Read comics in newspapers or online
    • Share a funny story with friends
    • Host a game night with friends
    • Play with animals or children
    • Go to a laughter yoga class
    • Engage in light-hearted and fun activities
  11. It's likely you have a funny story of something that happened to you long ago that wasn't funny at all in the moment. A key to not taking life too seriously is seeing that humor in the moment without needing years of time and distance first. If you can see the humor in any situation, it makes it a lot more difficult to take it too seriously. [11]
    • For example, if you're frustrated that you can't get your printer to work, you might make a joke about how the least advanced piece of tech you have is always the thing that fails.
    • It's also really hard to be upset when you're laughing. Something that might've triggered outrage can also cause a fit of laughter if you just look at it the right way.
  12. A good de-clutter is a great way to start taking life—and the things in your life—less seriously. After all, all of the material things in your life are just things, right? Instead, focus on the people that make moments memorable. [12]
    • Rochestie cautions that "everything that you bring into your life becomes the things that you talk about, the things that you think about, and the things that you're doing" and would caution you to critically evaluate what you're bringing into your life and how it's affecting you or changing you.
  13. Positive, supportive people can give you helpful feedback and the safety you need to kick back and have a good time. The more time you spend around them, the more positive and laid-back you'll feel in your overall life, even when you're not around them. [13]
    • Reichard encourages you to "do more activities that sponsor or invoke positive emotions like spending time with people [you] love and enjoy being with or spending time in nature, playing, being active, generally having fun.
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Section 2 of 3:

What Taking Life Too Seriously Looks Like

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  1. If you take life too seriously, you might worry that something bad will happen if you let down your guard. You might feel as though you have to prepare for every possible contingency or you'll let everyone down. If you take things too seriously, you might also: [14]
    • Feel the need to over-explain yourself constantly
    • Believe that you're always competing with others, even for basic human needs such as attention and affection
    • Avoid anything too far outside of your comfort zone for fear something bad might happen
    • Interrupt moments of levity to remind people of something serious
    • Worry or obsess over every little detail
Section 3 of 3:

Why do I take everything so seriously?

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  1. Reichard notes that "it's very common to feel stressed out during or after particular challenges, but cautions that "feeling burnt out comes after being stressed and taxed for too long." Being stressed out (or worse, burnt out) magnifies small things and makes them seem more important, which will cause you to take them more seriously. [15]
    • What to do: Reichard recommends that you return to your breath and "make a sincere and gentle effort to relax, to center, and to ground [yourself]."
    • Rochestie emphasizes that "adversity gives us our best chance to inspire, and adversity gives us our best chance to define who we are."
  2. When you're a perfectionist, every detail becomes equally important to get absolutely right, which can become a surefire way to take things too seriously. [16]
    • What to do: Get feedback early on so you can recalibrate how much work you really need to put into something. Focus on your values and what you want to get out of something rather than on everything being perfect.
  3. When you feel insecure, you're likely to feel the need to prove yourself with everything you do. This means that you'll give even the smallest tasks elevated importance, which can lead you to take life too seriously. Insecurity can also lead you to assume the worst about things that other people say or do. [17]
    • What to do: Remind yourself that you have intrinsic value regardless of your performance. See mistakes as learning opportunities and focus on your personal growth rather than what other people think about you.
    • Pazak would encourage you to "speak with a coach or counselor to release old beliefs and develop confidence. When we are confident and fear-free we will naturally be assertive with our thoughts and feelings."
  4. In business, it's natural to set goals that reward efficiency and productivity, but in life, this mindset can cause you to take things a bit too seriously. Trying to control and plan for every possible outcome can lead to extreme stress and anxiety. [18]
    • What to do: Rochestie notes that "people who are successful are focused on progress. And they're focused on the journey not the outcome.... So do everything you can to realize that every day has potential."
  5. When you take things too seriously, you typically have a heightened sense of danger. This heightened sense causes you to assume people mean the worst when they say and do things that could be interpreted confrontationally. This also leads you to assume the worst when planning for different occasions or events, which can make it really difficult to actually relax and unwind. [19]
    • What to do: Practice approaching people with curiosity rather than assuming the worst. If you're not sure what they meant by something, just ask!
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/communication-success/202209/how-let-go-little-things-and-see-the-big-picture
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-would-aristotle-do/201011/why-do-some-people-take-things-so-personally
      3. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/laughter-is-the-best-medicine.htm
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/communication-success/202209/how-let-go-little-things-and-see-the-big-picture
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/your-wise-brain/202105/be-less-serious-about-everyday-life
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/memory-medic/201304/getting-out-rut-break-bad-habits
      7. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/relaxation-techniques-for-stress-relief.htm
      8. ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/dance-health-benefits
      9. ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/can-music-improve-our-health-and-quality-of-life-202207252786
      1. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/emotional-health/laughter-is-the-best-medicine.htm
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/communication-success/202209/how-let-go-little-things-and-see-the-big-picture
      3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/your-wise-brain/202105/be-less-serious-about-everyday-life
      4. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/your-wise-brain/202105/be-less-serious-about-everyday-life
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/your-wise-brain/202105/be-less-serious-about-everyday-life
      7. ↑ https://hbr.org/2019/04/how-to-manage-your-perfectionism
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-would-aristotle-do/201011/why-do-some-people-take-things-so-personally
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/having-sex-wanting-intimacy/202209/the-dark-side-being-goal-driven
      10. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-would-aristotle-do/201011/why-do-some-people-take-things-so-personally

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      If you want to stop taking life too seriously, work on shaking things off that aren’t a big deal, and learn to laugh at the things around you. When you feel intense seriousness, stop and ask yourself, “Is this worth getting upset over” or “Is it really so bad?” Likely, the answer is no! Instead of getting upset, try to see the upside in these inconveniences. For instance, if traffic is stopping you from getting to work on time, instead of getting upset, be happy because you get to take a new route to work. If you still feel uptight, take some time to loosen up. Try dancing, or taking a yoga or aerobics class to get yourself moving. In your downtime, you can also seek out opportunities to laugh, like watching a funny movie, sharing a funny story, or going to a comedy night. To learn how to surround yourself with more fun-loving people, read on!

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      • Sanja Filipovic

        Jul 31, 2017

        "I loved everything, especially how I want to prove myself and how being too serious does more harm than good. I ..." more
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