How to Upgrade Your Life As a Teenager

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You may want to make sure you get the most out of your teenage years. Working hard as a teen can help you develop good habits you can carry into adulthood. There are a variety of ways you can upgrade your life as a teenager. Figure out your goals and passions, pursue success academically and elsewhere, work on your self-esteem and self-image, and make sure you foster positive relationships.

This article is based on an interview with our certified life coach and professional astrologer, Tracey Rogers. Check out the full interview here.

Part 1
Part 1 of 4:

Identifying Your Passions and Setting Goals

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  1. If you have goals set, you'll be able to make the most out of your teenage years and form valuable memories pursuing your passions. There may be certain things that you have a natural aptitude for, or talents or skills you've spent years developing. Considering your strengths can help connect you to your passions and allow you to set personal goals. [1]
    • Is there anything that always came easily to you? Look back to your early childhood. Maybe you never had any interest in playing sports with your classmates, but loved to sit for hours drawing pictures during recess. Maybe you always aced math quizzes without much effort.
    • Consider things you seem to have a knack for, or that others have complimented you on. You may, for example, love taking pictures with your smart phone and uploading them on Instagram. You may get a lot of compliments on your pictures. You may benefit from pursuing photography more seriously. You could look into taking a photography class in school or at an art center.
  2. Do not limit yourself as a teenager. Have fun and make the most of this time by exploring a variety of pursuits. Join many different extracurricular clubs. Look into taking classes in a variety of fields. On your own time, read about subjects that intrigue you, like art, history, science, and culture. You'll end up making great memories that will make your teenage years a valuable time of your life. [2]
    • It's okay if you try something and dislike it. Don't waste time doing something you hate. Stick to the pursuits that make you feel happy and inspired.
    • You'll also make friends while exploring your interests. Having a solid friend group will help you form lasting memories for your teenage years.
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  3. Passions should make you feel excited and invigorated. Considering what inspires you in your day-to-day life can help you identify passions. Maybe you love reading about artists in class, and find going to art museums personally invigorating. This may mean you have a passion for art or art history. Spend your time pouring your energies into your personal passions. [3]
    • Conversely, think about things that rub you the wrong way. Oftentimes, feelings of jealousy or frustration with another person are rooted in your own insecurities. If you feel miffed that your cousin's piano recitals and plays get so much attention from your family, maybe you wish you were more creative yourself. You may want to consider pursuing theater or music to see if you like it.
  4. After you've spent some time considering your passions, set goals for yourself. It's important to have goals as a teen, as these can help shape the trajectory of your adult life. Writing down a variety of goals for a given year, semester, or summer can help you upgrade your life. [4]
    • Start by writing down the abstract. Just jot down some ideas on where in life you want to improve. For example, you may write something like, "I want to be a better writer."
    • Try to narrow down your goals into concrete terms. How might you go about achieving some of your abstract goals? What small goals can you set along the way? For example, "I want to write 20 pages by the end of the summer."
  5. Specific and realistic goals work best. Passions and interests are often abstract, so when writing goals you should work on specifying how you want to pursue these things. For example, maybe you're interested in animal welfare. A goal like, "I will avoid using products tested on animals," is a more specific goal than, "I will do my part to end animal cruelty." [5]
    • Set a series of specific and concrete goals that move towards a larger purpose. If you want to be a writer, you can set goals for how many books you will read each semester, and decide to write for a set number of hours each night.
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1 of 12

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Part 2
Part 2 of 4:

Fostering Positive Relationships

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  1. You want to share your teenage years with worthwhile people. Having a solid group of friends can help you learn and grow. Work on developing quality friendships that will raise your self-esteem. This way, you'll have a group of friends you can share memories and experiences with as a teen. [6]
    • Your friends should be supportive of you. They should not tease or belittle you, and should encourage you to make good decisions. In turn, you should also be supportive of your friends' pursuits and interests.
    • The best way to find a group of friends is to get involved. Join clubs relevant to your interests. Be social and make an effort to reach out to others. Having likeminded friends is important to upgrading your life as a teen.
  2. Not all relationships are positive. A friend should be supportive and caring. If someone in your life makes you feel bad about yourself, that person is probably not worth your time. You do not want your teenage years to be tainted with memories of bad friends and troublesome relationships. [7]
    • Watch for signs of abuse in a relationship. Abuse can be physical. You should not stay with friends who hit you, kick you, or otherwise physically harm you. However, abuse can also be emotional. It can come in the form of teasing, bullying, threats, or intimidation.
    • End relationships that are detrimental. Sever off contact with someone who is hurting you, physically or emotionally, and seek support from other friends or family members. Open up about what is going on so others can provide you comfort and advice.
  3. It's great to be open to trying new things as a teen, and important to making the most of your teenage years. However, you should not do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. True friends will not try to pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. Peer pressure comes in a variety of forms, and can create unnecessary stress and tension in your life. Know how to identify and avoid peer pressure. [8]
    • You may be pressured to drink, smoke, or use drugs. Anyone who forces you into a situation that is unhealthy or dangerous is not a friend. You should look for friends who support you and understand your comfort zone.
    • Your friends may also pressure you to do things you're not interested in doing. It's good, to an extent, to have friends encourage you to try new things and overcome fears and insecurities. However, if you're truly uninterested in a given activity, your friends should respect your decision.
    • Peer pressure can also come in the form of excluding others. There may be a certain person in your friend's group who's being ostracized or left out. Do not participate in these kinds of tactics. Remember, you would feel bad if you were left out. You do not want to do the same to another person.
  4. During your teenage years, you may find yourself dating for the first time. Romantic relationships can be a great way to live life to the fullest and make your teenage years matter. You can learn a lot about yourself through dating. If you want to pursue romance, make sure your relationship is fun, healthy, and beneficial. [9]
    • You and your romantic partner should be able to share things. Find someone you can talk to and learn from. You should find a partner who makes you laugh and you genuinely look forward to seeing.
    • Romantic relationships do get physical. Many people experiment with sexual activity for the first time in their teenage years. It's normal to want a physical relationship. However, you should not engage in sexual activity until you feel ready and should always use birth control and condoms to prevent pregnancy and STDs. If your partner pressures you, this is not a solid romantic relationship and you should get out.
    • Like friendships, romantic relationships can be abusive. Your partner should be supportive and loving. Anyone who harms you physically or emotionally is not worth your time.
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Part 3
Part 3 of 4:

Setting Yourself Up for Future Career Success

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  1. Grades are important to your success as a teen, and you'll actually find fulfillment if you pursue your intellectual curiosities. Work on maintaining a high GPA if you want to upgrade your life. Good grades can help you professionally and also help you learn about yourself and your passions.
    • Practice good study habits. Make sure you make a schedule for yourself in regards to your homework and studying for exams. Try to do your homework shortly after school. Work and study in a well-lit area free of outside distractions. Keep your laptop and cell phone powered down while you work.
    • If you're struggling with a specific subject, talk to your parents about hiring a tutor. You can also talk to your teacher and ask him or her how you can go about improving your grades in that subject.
  2. Experience is important for finding a job and getting into a good college. It's also important to making your teen years memorable and fun. Finding extracurriculars will help you live life to the fullest, in addition to upgrading your life via professional success.
    • Remember your goals and passions as you choose activities. If you're fascinated by journalism, join the student paper. If you want to work in science, join an after school science club. If you're working in areas you love, you're far more likely to have a great time during your teenage years.
    • Teenage years can help prep you for success down the road, so try to take on leadership positions when possible. Being the Editor-in-Chief of your school's newspaper is far more impressive than just being a writer.
  3. Volunteering can be a great way to bolster your resume, and you'll also build lasting memories. It can also help you pursue your passions and interests, allowing you to develop your character as a teenager. Volunteer for organizations you're passionate about. Look for local non-profits that accept volunteers. Volunteer to help out with events for your school. If you go to church with your parents, volunteer there. Work for a local political party.
  4. As you're pursuing jobs and internships, you'll end up getting a variety of interviews. Work on fostering good interview skills as a teen. This will increase your chances of landing a job or internship. [10]
    • Make sure you dress the part. You want to wear something that looks professional. You should avoid jeans and a t-shirt, baggy pants, or gaudy jewelry. Strive for dress pants and a nice button down top instead. Make sure you wear appropriate dress shoes as well.
    • Research the company ahead of time. The more you know, the more invested you'll look in the job. Spend some time browsing a company's website prior to the interview.
    • Use your body language. Sit up straight and smile and nod to show the interviewer you are listening. Ask questions at the end of the interview. Choose open ended questions that show you're interested in the company. For example, "What do you like about working here?" or "What's the company culture like?"
  5. A part-time job can be a great way to get some experience in when you're a teen, and many people bond with co-workers. Even a job like pizza delivery or working in a grocery store can provide fun and lasting memories. You'll end up meeting people your own age and developing a friend's group from work. Having some work experience can also help you down the road, as you prepare for college and later the work force. [11]
    • You can look on job boards online to find job leads. You can also ask around at local businesses. Look for help wanted signs in coffee shops and restaurants.
    • Talk to your parents, relatives, and siblings. They may know someone in your community who is looking for employees.
    • Try to find a job you feel like you would enjoy. You may not land a highly professional job as a teen, but look for work that you feel will be fun. If you love riding your bike, for example, consider a job as a bike delivery person.
  6. If you want to pursue success, you should write a resume. A resume is an overview of your professional experience, which you can use to apply for jobs and internships. Gaining some work experience in your teenage years can set you up for success later in life. [12]
    • Resumes are usually formatted using headers and bullet points to list work and educational experience. Formatting should be consistent throughout and you should use a font that's legible, like Arial or Times New Roman. It can be difficult to write a resume for the first time, so ask your school's guidance counselor for advice.
    • You may not have a lot of work experience as a teenager. That's okay. Many people hiring teens for jobs and internships understand a teen's experience is limited. List things like volunteer work you've done. If you've been part of a club or organization, list that as well. Academic success may reflect well on you if you're applying for an internship, so mention your GPA and whether you've been on the honor roll.
  7. Internships are a great way to bolster your resume. They can also provide you with lasting memories of your teenage years. A lot of internships are targeted at college students, but some businesses may offer internships specifically for teenagers. [13]
    • Internships provide hands-on experience working in an organization. As an intern, you'll start to learn the professional aspect of a certain industry. You'll be supervised by a team of professionals who will help you gain professional experience.
    • Ask adults you know, like teachers, parents, and school counselors, about where to find internships in your area. You can also browse job sites for internships. You can possibly create your own internship with a family member or friend's company.
  8. You should also work on preparing for college as a teen. Things like internships, jobs, volunteer work, and extracurriculars will set you up for future success career-wise. However, you should also work on researching colleges.
    • Look at colleges in and out of your state. Research a college's reputation, faculty, and culture. You want to find a university with a solid reputation where you feel you'll fit in.
    • Pay attention to requirements for college. Start thinking about how to get great standardized test scores so you can attend a top university.
    • Ask your parents if they'll take you to tour colleges. Seeing a college campus can help you decide if a given college is a good fit for you.
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Part 4
Part 4 of 4:

Maintaining a Positive Mood and Self Image

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  1. You'll be surprised to find how much of your mood you can control. When you're a teen, you experience a range of powerful emotions. It's normal to feel sad and frustrated, and important to experience negative feelings, but you can also work on ways to feel happy and positive. This will allow you to better enjoy the experiences you have in your teenage years. [14]
    • Have a ritual you can engage in when you're feeling down. Maybe there's a TV show that makes you laugh. Maybe there's a song you like to listen to. When you're having a bad day, make a point of taking 15 minutes to yourself to cheer up.
    • Find ways to interrupt a bad mood. If you can't stop feeling down, do something to distract yourself. Play a video game. Read a book.
    • If you're feeling stressed in the moment, focus on your breath. Take a series of deep breaths, paying attention to the air going in and out of your nose and mouth. Focusing on your breath can keep you grounded in the present, preventing your stress from spiraling out of control.
  2. Exercising has a lot of benefits. Not only is it good for you physically, a regular exercise regimen can also help elevate your mood. Regular exercise can help put you in a better mental state, allowing you to enjoy your teenage years. [15]
    • Pick a physical activity you genuinely enjoy. You're unlikely to stick to an exercise routine you hate. If you love riding your bike, try to go for a two mile bike ride every day after school.
  3. Your teenage years are often a time of insecurity. You may be bombarded with a variety of negative thoughts throughout the day about yourself and your abilities. It's okay to feel bad sometimes, but you do not want negative thoughts to prevent you from pursuing certain activities and goals that allow you to thrive as a teen. Work on editing negative thoughts as they occur. [16]
    • Identify negative thoughts. Notice when you're feeling bad about yourself throughout the day. When you slip into a negative thinking pattern, make an active effort to resist and reframe your thoughts.
    • For example, you may see someone doing better than you at hockey practice. You may start to think something like, "She's so much better than me. I'll never be as skilled. I should just quit." Stop these thought patterns as they occur. Try to replace them with motivational thoughts. For example, "She's a very skilled and inspiring player. I'm lucky to have her on my team. I'm sure she can teach me something about hockey."
  4. Everyone is good at different things. You may not have a natural aptitude for writing, but you may excel at science courses. You may not have a great brain for chemistry, but you may be a brilliant writer. Focus on what you're good at, and what you enjoy. You cannot succeed in everything, and that's okay. Pursuing what you're good at, and what you genuinely care about, will allow you to make the most of your teen years. You want to spend this time doing the things you genuinely want to do. [17]
  5. Setbacks do not mean failure. The better attitude you have about setbacks, the more likely you'll be able to bounce back and get on the road to enjoying your teenage years. If you slip up, accept that it's part of a larger learning process. Take rejection and set backs as an opportunity to learn and grow. If you didn't get a great grade on your chemistry quiz, take this as a chance to identify your weak spots for the exam. If you didn't get that summer internship, you can work on building your experience so you'll have better luck next time. [18]
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    Does life get better after teenage years?
    Tracey Rogers, MA
    Certified Life Coach
    Tracey L. Rogers is a Certified Life Coach and Professional Astrologer based in Philadelphia. Tracey has over 10 years of life coaching and astrology experience. Her work has been featured on nationally syndicated radio, as well as online platforms such as Oprah.com. She is certified as a Coach by the Life Purpose Institute, and she has an MA in International Education from George Washington University.
    Tracey Rogers, MA
    Certified Life Coach
    Expert Answer
    This is a really complicated question since it really depends on what you want out of life! As a teenager, ask yourself what you want from life and what you want to accomplish. You don't have to have concrete answers to these questions right now, but it's worth thinking about. As you figure out what you want, put your effort into achieving your goals. If you do this, your life will undoubtedly be better as you get older!
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/prescriptions-life/201205/five-steps-finding-your-passion
      2. ↑ Tracey Rogers, MA. Certified Life Coach. Expert Interview. 6 January 2020.
      3. ↑ Tracey Rogers, MA. Certified Life Coach. Expert Interview. 6 January 2020.
      4. ↑ Tracey Rogers, MA. Certified Life Coach. Expert Interview. 6 January 2020.
      5. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/goals-tips.html?WT.ac=ctg
      6. ↑ https://www.pamf.org/teen/abc/types/friends.html
      7. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/abuse.html
      8. ↑ https://www.pamf.org/preteen/growingup/choices/pressure.html
      9. ↑ https://www.pamf.org/teen/abc/types/romantic.html
      1. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/5-summer-job.html
      2. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/5-summer-job.html
      3. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/5-summer-job.html
      4. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/5-summer-job.html
      5. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/choose-mood.html?WT.ac=ctg#
      6. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/self-esteem.html?WT.ac=t-ra
      7. ↑ Tracey Rogers, MA. Certified Life Coach. Expert Interview. 6 January 2020.
      8. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/self-esteem.html?WT.ac=t-ra
      9. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/goals-tips.html?WT.ac=ctg

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