1. Start the conversation Let the person know that you see that they are upset and that you are available to listen. Friend Acquaintance/Stranger “Hey, Mark. You look like you’re having a rough day. Want to talk about it?” “Hi, my name’s Marie. I couldn’t help but notice that you look really upset.” 2. Directly address the issue Tackle the issue head on. If you know the person, you will most likely already be familiar with their problems. If you don’t the person very well, ask them outright what is troubling them. Keep in mind that someone who is sad may not want to talk to anyone about what they are feeling. If this is the case, don’t push. Instead, make it clear that you are there for them. Friend Acquaintance/Stranger “I heard about the big fight you and Riley had. Are you guys still not talking to each other?” “Do you want to tell me what happened?” or “If you feel comfortable about it, you can talk to me about what’s going on.” 3. Acknowledge your helplessness Most of the time, you won’t be able to do anything immediate to alleviate your friend’s or acquaintance’s sadness. This is completely normal, and it’s often enough to simply acknowledge that fact. Don’t forget to remind the person that you’re there for them. Friend Acquaintance/Stranger “I don’t know how much I can help, but I want you to know that I’m here for you whenever you need me.” “I’m so sorry that your mom is in the hospital. I know that words can’t solve anything, but please don’t hesitate to reach out if you ever need to talk about this.” 4. Ask about next steps Sometimes making a plan can help the person start to feel better. If they don’t have any ideas, gently offer solutions. If they do, encourage them to talk about what they plan to do next. Friend Acquaintance/Stranger I don’t know what to do. She doesn’t want to speak with me. “Maybe you could write her an email instead. That way you can explain your side of things.” I wouldn’t even know where to start. “You don’t need to send anything right away. Think on it for a day or so.” “Have you visited your mom yet?” Yes, but neither she nor I know what’s going to happen next. “Do you think it would help to come up with a list of things to ask her doctor?” 5. Bring up the idea of therapy If a friend has been struggling with sadness for a while, it may be a good idea for them to seek professional advice. Unfortunately, going to therapy often carries a negative social stigma, so make sure your friend knows that you will still see them as the same person even if they need a little extra help. Only bring up the idea of therapy with someone you know very well. Friend “You’ve been struggling for a long time, and I’m really worried about you. Have you thought about talking to a professional about what you’re feeling? Therapy might really help you feel better.”