1. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. 2. The Dalai Lama walked into a pizza shop and said “make me one with everything.” 3. My brother Cody lost his CD. Now I just call him Oy. 4. The illustrator was seen at the crime scene, but the details are still a bit sketchy. 5. He said I was average. That’s just mean. 6. I really get a kick out of that donkey. 7. The butcher doesn’t gamble if the steaks are too high. 8. Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a fly swatter instead. 9. What did the popcorn say when it was hit? Help, I’ve been a-salted! 10. What did one DNA say to another DNA? Do these genes make me look fat? 1. What do you do with chemists when they die? You barium. 2. What’s a golfer’s favorite meal? Tea time. 3. A bear broke into our campsite. In was really “in tents.” 4. The bathroom just opened up. “Urine” luck. 5. My boyfriend finished all my french fries. I couldn’t “ketchup.” 6. The stylist accidentally gave me a buzz cut. It was a real hairy situation. 7. What did the daddy deer say to his son? Buck up. 8. How did the boy call the fish? He dropped it a line. 9. That pessimistic horse is such a neigh-sayer.