Do you like telling funny jokes? Well, let’s try to make a clean joke thread! Here are the rules: 1.Joke must not have crude or vulger content when posted 2.You must enjoy jokes that you post. I’ll start. If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what’s on the outside? K9P.
Why don’t blind people bungee jump? It scares the crap out of their dogs.
How was the canon invented? Two violists were trying to play the same passage together.
Prom Tip: Tinting your mom’s station wagon windows does NOT make it a limo.
system
6
I don’t get it? How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A duck
Lol, canon.
I have a long joke based on a fairly past event. If you don’t know it, don’t look it up. It was the last day of school, and the teacher decided to make class a bit more interesting. “If you correctly match the person to the quote I say, you may leave early.” The students were excited. Within a minute, two female students left early after immediately guessing correctly to the teacher’s two quotes. However, one male student was furious that they answered before he did. “Stupid girls,” he shouted. “Who said that?” the teacher quickly demanded. The male student quipped, “Tiger Woods. May I go home now?”
(One-Liner) When attempting to fight fire with fire, remember that the fire department usually uses water.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
I just thought of a new joke. Why do they lock the gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone’s going to clean them?
What disease can you get from kissing birds? Chirpies(It’s a canareal disease, but it’s tweetable).
Two goldfish are in a tank. One says,“How do you drive this thing?!?”
I think this counts as subtly crude content.
Sorry…I wasn’t really thinking when I posted that. But I just got a few really funny jokes, and I promise they aren’t crude. 1.Chuck Norris once was on the wrapper for a toilet paper company. The company field tested it and it didn’t work because Chuck Norris won’t take crap from nobody. 2.Chuck Norris is the only reason Waldo hides. 3.Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down untill they give him the information he wants. 4. A blonde was determined to show his wife he wasn’t stupid, so he painted the kitchen.When she came back she said,“The kitchen looks great, but why are you wearing three jackets?” The blonde said,“But it said it was best with three coats.” 5.What do you do if a Blonde throws a pin at you? Run as fast as you can, she has a hand gernade in her mouth.
Can I throw in some funny quotes?
Go for it. As long as they don’t break the rules. *sob*
“Don’t believe every quote you see on the Internet.” ~Abraham Lincoln
Mad Mod: The American Revolution was a hoax. The Declaration of Independence is a tissue of lies. There is no George Washington, and there never was. And from now on, they’re not cookies - they’re called biscuits! Say it with me… “biiisss-cuuuiitss”. There, now. We’ll have you unruly Yanks acting like proper Brits in time for tea. Groan. In a way, he was one of the worst villains in Teen Titans… Here’s another one: Raven: Can you please stop talking like that? Beast Boy: (British accent) You’re just jealous because I sound like a rock star.
Ha ^ Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversery. His wife was really cheezed off. She told him," You better give me a gift that is in the driveway by tomorrow and goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds or YOU’LL BE SORRY!!! The next day Bob got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a gift box in the driveway, wrapped and everything. So she quickly put on her robe and dashed outside to get the gift. She got inside and opened the gift. It was a bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.
