How to Interact with a Guy After Being Rejected By Him

Putting yourself out there can feel scary, and it can seem even worse after you’ve been rejected by the guy you like. But you can’t mope around forever, either— especially if your crush is someone you have to continue interacting with at work, school, or elsewhere. However, with a little self-care, effort, and expert tips from life coaches and psychologists, you’ll be able to continue being around him afterwards as if nothing ever happened. Go you!

Communicating with a Guy After He Rejected You: An Overview

Try not to view the rejection as a failure. Instead, think of it as an opportunity for growth and a chance to cultivate a deeper friendship with your crush. Give him some space and wait for the right time to reach out. Then, use your friends as buffers and try to engage normally with him.

Section 1 of 6:

How to Deal with Embarrassment

Download Article

1
Reframe the situation. Don’t view this situation as a failure. Being rejected by someone doesn’t mean you have failed in some huge, measurable way. On the contrary, it means that you were brave and put yourself out there and give yourself an opportunity to learn from your mistakes . ^{[1]
X
Research source}
- Try to think of the rejection as an opportunity to grow as a person and figure out what works for you.
- Take some time to think about what you might’ve done differently to turn that rejection into an acceptance. This will help you learn from your mistakes and make changes for the future.
- Clinical counselor Cameron Gibson, R.C.C. says, “Rejection is very common. And it's less about the rejection itself and more about the opportunity to process the emotions associated with that event.”
2
Give it a little time and don’t rush things. Rejection can be a difficult pill to swallow — it can create feelings of hostility, embarrassment, shame, and denial. Allow yourself to take it slow after an instance of rejection and to process all the feelings you have. ^{[2]
X
Research source}
- The guy will need to process his feelings too. If you want to be friends again after he rejects you, you’ll need to give him a bit of time and space to figure out what he thinks about it too. This will help eliminate any potential awkwardness.
- Of course, the length of time that you need to wait will vary from situation to situation. But a good rule of thumb is to wait at least two weeks, or until you start feeling more comfortable with the idea of talking to him again.
Advertisement
3
Be yourself. Even if he rejected you, there was a reason you liked him in the first place, so continue being yourself ! And clearly you got close enough to him to know that he likes you too (at least as a friend). Don’t change who you are just because you got rejected. Continue dressing the same, talking the same, and liking the same things that you did before the rejection, but also continue your normal activities online. Keep posting things to friends, pictures of yourself, and whatever you used to do before the rejection. ^{[3]
X
Research source}
- Don’t ever change yourself for anyone. Your uniqueness is what draws people to you.
- Life coach Rachel Clissold offers some tips on being your best, authentic self. She says, “It’s about embracing your inner child that wants to play, that wants to share, that wants to express themselves.”
4
Avoid obsessing over the rejection. One of the hardest parts of communicating with a guy after he rejects you is letting it go. Don’t obsess over what you said, what you could have said differently, or how you might have handled the situation in another way. It happened; move on. ^{[4]
X
Trustworthy Source
American Psychological Association
Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists
Go to source}
- Running through alternative scenarios in your mind over and over will only prolong your agony. Just accept that it happened and try to avoid thinking about it too much.
- Tell your friends that you don't want to rehash the rejection and that you'd like their support in not talking about it.
- Gibson adds that the best way to overcome rejection is to really embrace and understand those complicated feelings. He says, “[People] will try and suppress the fact that they're sad, or feel guilty or abandoned, and they'll try and avoid feeling the emotions associated with that rejection.”
- Instead, Gibson suggests going to counseling to make sure you get “unstuck” and then you can “move through it as opposed to trying to avoid it, which usually reduces your ability to cope with similar feelings over time.”
- If you find yourself obsessing, try distracting yourself by doing something else. Call a friend to meet up or start watching a movie. Try rereading a book you love or going for a walk outside.
EXPERT TIP

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Try not to take rejection too personally. It can be hard to process, but with time, you can move on and grow from the experience.
5
Use this as an opportunity to become better friends . Try not to view this as a hurtful rejection, but more as an opportunity to get to know him better and possibly gain a good friend. Act in a civilized manner after he rejects you and show him you want to continue a friendship.
- Don’t ice him out and ignore him so you can pretend like what happened didn’t hurt you. Instead, make efforts to continue the friendship and get to know him better.
- If you want to reach out to him to try to maintain the friendship (or start one in the first place), you could try to talk to him about it. Tell him that you value him as a friend and you don’t want to lose the friendship. Invite him to hang out with you casually — like going to a movie or hanging out with a group of mutual friends.
- Make the effort to be friends and show him that you’re not a person who can’t handle it . Stand by him in lines and talk to his friends. Make sure you glance at him in classes. And if he stares back, there’s a good chance he might want to talk.
  - This will help make him think you're not afraid of talking with him. ^{[5]
    X
    Research source}

Section 2 of 6:

How to Interact in Person

Download Article

1
Wait for the right time to interact. Don’t try to push your way back into his life right after he rejected you; try to wait until you are both more comfortable. This process may take weeks, or maybe even months, to gather your courage to talk to him again. But just try to be patient and give yourself the time you need to heal and move on. ^{[6]
X
Trustworthy Source
American Psychological Association
Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists
Go to source}
- You can tell when he starts being more comfortable by how he acts – if he starts treating you like he did before the rejection, then it is close to being back to normal.
- Some signs that it may be the right time to start trying to interact with him again include increased eye contact between the two of you, noticeably fewer awkward encounters, or if your mutual friends tell you that they think he will be receptive to it.
2
Use your friends as a buffer. Instead of sulking around like it’s the end of the world, spend more time with your friends. This is especially important if the guy who rejected you is part of your friend group. Hang out with your friends and show him that you aren’t just sitting around your house super depressed because of what happened.
- Have a party at your house and invite him. Or go with your friends to the movies, even when you know he’ll be there. Show him that you are a fun person to be around.
3
Engage in conversations. Starting conversations with someone who rejected you can seem difficult at first. But you’ll quickly get over the awkwardness after a little initial effort. Try to talk to him like you used to before he rejected you. If you struggle with this, try asking him questions about his life. This is a good way to get him to open up and for you to both move past what happened. ^{[7]
X
Research source}
- Try asking questions like, “How did you do on the Math test?” or “Did your sister come home to visit this weekend?” or “What did you do this weekend?” Really, just ask anything to get him talking.
- If you are friends with the guy or became friends with him, avoid bringing up the rejection. It only makes things a bit uncomfortable and you might regret it. It just makes him feel bad that he had to reject you, for whatever reason. And it may seem like you cannot let go of the past.

Section 3 of 6:

How to Communicate Online

Download Article

1
Use social media. A good way to reach out slowly over time after a guy rejected you is by doing so on social media accounts. These platforms allow you to let a guy know you’re thinking about him without going overboard with messages, texts, or potentially awkward in-person interactions. ^{[8]
X
Research source}
- Start by liking a photo he posted. Don’t leave a comment, just like the photo. Wait a few days and then leave a light-hearted comment on something he posted. Nothing too personal – just a joke or a funny reference.
- During this period, be sure to continue posting a few things on your own accounts to give him an opportunity to return the gesture. Don’t go crazy with the posts, but post enough that it’s clear you’re still a fun person living your life, not just someone who is moping around after the rejection.
2
Send messages sparingly at first. You don’t want to bombard him with text messages (or messages on any other online platform), especially in the first few weeks after he rejected you. Once you have let some time pass, try sending a simple message inquiring about something unrelated to your relationship or what happened between the two of you. ^{[9]
X
Research source}
- Try texting something like, “Hey. Did you ever get around to watching that movie I recommended?” Or maybe, “Hey. See you at the party this weekend?” Keep it light and casual. You can build from there.

Section 4 of 6:

Can a guy change his mind after rejecting someone?

Download Article

Yes, but that’s not a guarantee that things will work out. If a guy has rejected you, it’s likely due to a number of reasons, ranging from not wanting commitment, to having a demanding work schedule, to deciding to pursue other options. No matter what, a rejection is less a reflection of you, and more a reflection of them and their situation. If he changes his mind about being with you and comes back, it’s important to note whether or not his previous reasons for rejecting you have changed. ^{[10]
X
Research source}
- If he shows interest in you and makes an effort to date you, take things slowly. You don’t want to get your hopes up only to be let down again.
- Be clear about your intentions and ask him to be clear about his.
- Regardless of whether it works out with your crush, make sure you always prioritize your own growth, emotional development, and well-being.

Section 5 of 6:

I thought he liked me, so why did he reject me?

Download Article

There are many reasons why a guy might reject you, even if he likes you. One possible reason is that he’s dealing with personal struggles, overwhelmed by family, work, or mental health-related issues. Another reason could be that he isn’t 100% sure of what he wants and prefers to keep his options open. He might still be healing from a past relationship, or hoping to get an ex back. He could also prefer to take things slow, bristling against romantic advances if he finds that things are moving too fast for his liking. ^{[11]
X
Research source}
- Unfortunately, it’s also possible that he lied about his feelings for you in the first place, rendering him an undesirable candidate for being your boyfriend.
- No matter what, it likely has very little to do with you, so try not to take his wishy-washiness personally.

Section 6 of 6:

Final Thoughts

Download Article

It’s normal to feel let down after a guy rejects you, but give it time. Relationships are nuanced, emotions are complicated, and entering a serious commitment with someone before both people are ready can lead to heartbreak in the long run. If a guy you like rejected you, take a little time to heal, dust yourself off, and view it as an opportunity for personal growth. Remember, you’re the prize, and if he chooses not to date you— his loss!

Expert Q&A

Search

Add New Question

Question

A guy I asked out made fun of me and stopped being my friend? How do I get over this?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

Some people are worth putting time into, and some are not. If he was overtly cruel, don't try to make any more attempts to contact him. There are a lot of nicer guys out there! Remind yourself that you are a great and interesting person, and many people people find you that way. We can all find at least one person who doesn't like us or doesn't treat us well. Move on, and smile!

Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
Thank you for your feedback.
If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
Yes No

Not Helpful 10 Helpful 99
Question

I like a nerdy kind of guy and someone told him about it. I would like to talk to him but he would never look at me and would never respond. What can I do to make things better between us?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

Nerdy kinds of guys are often shy or uncomfortable in any social situations. The dating thing is probably even harder! Make some reasonable attempts to connect with non-heavy types of conversation. Try not to read too much into his expression, or the absence of an expression! It could take a while. Give it some time, but move on if you start to feel very frustrated! There are other guys out there!

Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
Thank you for your feedback.
If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
Yes No

Not Helpful 9 Helpful 35

Ask a Question

200 characters left

Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.

Submit

Tips

Just be friendly. Eventually if he gives hints that he likes being friends with you, it could lead to something else in the long run.

Thanks
Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
If he rejects you, it's okay. There are plenty of guys out there. And remember, there may be guys who are totally crushing on you and you don't realize it.

Thanks
Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
When trying to re-establish your friendship with him, don't refer to anything about having a crush on him. It'll make things very awkward and may make your effort to treat him like a friend a little harder and take longer to normalize.

Thanks
Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

Show More Tips

Tips from our Readers

The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

Avoid badmouthing the guy just because he rejected you. As long as he did it kindly, he didn't do anything wrong just by not being interested in you.
Don't wast your time on someone who has rejected you. You are worth so much more, never forget that!

Submit a Tip

All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published

Name

Please provide your name and last initial

Submit

Thanks for submitting a tip for review!

Warnings

Try not to give him too much of your time. When someone rejects you, it's because they're not interested, and you have to accept it. It may hurt a lot, but just keep in mind he is the one missing out, not you.

Thanks
Helpful 265 Not Helpful 46

You Might Also Like

[1]

[2]

[3]

[4]

Trustworthy Source

Go to source

[5]

[6]

[7]

[8]

[9]

[10]

[11]

Log in

How to Interact with a Guy After Being Rejected By Him

Communicating with a Guy After He Rejected You: An Overview

Steps

How to Deal with Embarrassment

How to Interact in Person

How to Communicate Online

Can a guy change his mind after rejecting someone?

I thought he liked me, so why did he reject me?

Final Thoughts

Expert Q&A

Tips

Tips from our Readers

Warnings

You Might Also Like

References

About This Article

Reader Success Stories

Did this article help you?

Quizzes

You Might Also Like

Featured Articles

Trending Articles

Featured Articles

Featured Articles

Watch Articles

Trending Articles

Quizzes

Explore Categories