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How do you find true friends?

Kateri Berasi, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Kateri Berasi is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and the Founder of The Centered Self, a therapy practice focused on women’s mental health, and Transcendent Self Therapy, a group practice that uses creative therapeutic approaches to support those who feel misunderstood, marginalized, or outside the norm. With nearly 20 years of experience in the mental health field, Dr. Berasi specializes in hormonal and fertility-related concerns, as well as working with creatively inclined individuals navigating identity, emotional depth, and life transitions. She offers individual therapy, couples counseling, group therapy, and Costume Therapy—a unique modality she developed. Dr. Berasi holds a doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Long Island University, a master’s degree from Columbia University, and completed her postdoctoral training at Columbia as well.

Kateri Berasi, PsyD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

Think about the qualities you respect in others and look for people that have such qualities. Do you want thoughtful friends? Supportive friends? Kind friends? Funny friends? Honest friends? Only you can answer these questions!

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Question

How can I attract good friends?

Kateri Berasi, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Kateri Berasi is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and the Founder of The Centered Self, a therapy practice focused on women’s mental health, and Transcendent Self Therapy, a group practice that uses creative therapeutic approaches to support those who feel misunderstood, marginalized, or outside the norm. With nearly 20 years of experience in the mental health field, Dr. Berasi specializes in hormonal and fertility-related concerns, as well as working with creatively inclined individuals navigating identity, emotional depth, and life transitions. She offers individual therapy, couples counseling, group therapy, and Costume Therapy—a unique modality she developed. Dr. Berasi holds a doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Long Island University, a master’s degree from Columbia University, and completed her postdoctoral training at Columbia as well.

Kateri Berasi, PsyD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

Think about what activities you enjoy doing and be active in pursuing those activities. Try to be open to starting up conversations with people who you meet during such times.

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How do you attract people close to you?

Kateri Berasi, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Kateri Berasi is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and the Founder of The Centered Self, a therapy practice focused on women’s mental health, and Transcendent Self Therapy, a group practice that uses creative therapeutic approaches to support those who feel misunderstood, marginalized, or outside the norm. With nearly 20 years of experience in the mental health field, Dr. Berasi specializes in hormonal and fertility-related concerns, as well as working with creatively inclined individuals navigating identity, emotional depth, and life transitions. She offers individual therapy, couples counseling, group therapy, and Costume Therapy—a unique modality she developed. Dr. Berasi holds a doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Long Island University, a master’s degree from Columbia University, and completed her postdoctoral training at Columbia as well.

Kateri Berasi, PsyD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

Look for people who share values with you to help with the connection. Believe me, this will go a long way toward making good friendships.

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How do I talk about deeper things without sounding like I'm whining about my life?

Tom De Backer

Top Answerer

Differentiate these things. You can talk about both trivial and deeper things with or without whining. Some obvious things right out of the gate: choose a good time. As everybody is leaving for home, that's not the right time. Choose the right person, too. It's OK to actually plan this. "Hey, I would like your advice on one or two things, can we talk say Thursday?" You'll be talking to trusted friends, so be honest, clear and open up your feelings. For example: "I've been worried about my drinking alcohol lately, and I don't really know if I have a problem or what to do about it" instead of "I feel so lonely and nobody loves me, so I drink."

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What if whenever I want to approach someone, things get awkward?

Community Answer

You're just feeling shy and nervous that the conversation won't go well. You just have to put the negative thoughts out of your mind and go for it. Be outgoing and ask the person about themselves. This way you don't have to do much of the talking, as people love to talk about themselves.

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How can I avoid being annoying or over the top?

Community Answer

If you feel you are often annoying, you might eventually find friends who appreciate you for who you are. However, if you want to change, start by letting your friends talk more about their personal experiences.

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