10 Signs of Negativity in a Person & How to Deal With Them

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Kick negativity to the curb with our psychology-backed advice
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Sometimes, there are people in our life who just can’t help but bring us down. But what is it about them that makes them so challenging to be around—do they have negative energy? If you constantly feel drained [1] or anxious around them, they just might. In this article, we’ll walk you through 10 key signs of negative energy in a person to watch out for and provide advice on coping. Read on to boost your spirits and understand why that particular person might be bringing you down.

Things You Should Know

  • People with negative energy tend to be overly critical, try to involve you in their misery, and diminish your joy.
  • Negative energy people lack empathy and often have difficulty maintaining relationships because they expect more from others than they give in return.
  • Disengage with negative people. For example, if they try to get you to commiserate, say, “I’m trying to be more positive for my mental health."
1

They find flaws in everything and everyone.

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  1. Sometimes, negative energy people get so comfortable being negative that shifting their thinking patterns to positive is just too much for them. To stay comfortable in the worldview they’ve created, they then have to turn even the best things into something that's just not good enough. [2]
    • How to Cope: Unhappy people tend to take out their own self-image issues on others, so try not to take their comments personally. Reaffirm your self-worth with mantras like, “I am intelligent, kind, and valuable.”
    • Alternatively, if you’re overly critical of yourself, replace negative self-talk with positive by thinking of something you love about yourself right after having a negative thought. For example, you might think, “I love my legs—they’re strong and get me where I need to go.”
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2

They try to turn your positives into negatives.

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  1. People with negative energy will try to diminish your joy [3] . Ever heard the saying, “Misery loves company?” [4] For example, if you shared something you were excited about with someone, but after telling them, they made you feel like it didn’t matter as much as you thought, that person likely has negative energy.
    • How to Cope: If you find yourself getting sucked into commiserating with someone, break this habit by stating something like, “I’m making an effort to be more positive lately, so I’m going to try not to complain.” You might even encourage them to do the same!
    • Remember that your happiness is valid. Just because someone doesn’t understand your positive attitude and good-humored spirit doesn’t mean that you should question why you were happy in the first place.
3

They get disappointed easily and hold on to resentment.

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  1. Similar to finding flaws in everything, people with negative energy purposely set unrealistically high expectations that can’t be met, garnering further sympathy from others when people cannot perform. From being late to someone accidentally talking over them, negative energy people turn even the smallest mistake into a big problem. [5]
    • How to Cope: Rationalize the situation by thinking critically . For example, if you disappointed your negative energy boss by asking for help, remember that collaborating with others and asking clarifying questions is essential to professional growth.
    • Even when these negative energy people get what they want, they take every opportunity they can to feel shortchanged. For example, you could give an excellent, well-received presentation, yet, your negative energy boss might still find areas where you need improvement.
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4

They don’t take criticism well.

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  1. Refusing to accept that they may have areas to learn and grow, people with negative energy make you feel bad for pointing out areas where they might improve. Instead of an opportunity to learn, bad energy people see criticism as a slight against them. They may purposefully get offended by criticism, regardless of how well-intended it may be, so they can be a victim. [6]
    • How to Cope: Remember that you were only trying to help. Thoughtful, constructive criticism is a necessary building block for growth, so if you unintentionally upset someone by pointing out an area where they might improve, it’s up to them to be receptive to it—feedback is a gift!
5

They avoid taking risks.

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  1. Those in tune with their intuition and self-worth are able to take risks when needed because they trust their ability to ensure that everything will work out in their favor. Conversely, negative energy people find it difficult to bite the bullet and go after their dreams and desires, regardless of the challenges they might face due to their low self-esteem. [7]
    • How to Cope: Encourage the negative energy person in your life to believe in themselves by reminding them of all their great qualities. For example, you might say, “Don’t doubt yourself—I’ve always been so impressed by your ability to get things done, even when you were tired and didn’t think you could pull it off.”
    • Negative energy people tend to avoid planning for the future, as they fear something bad might happen that will change things for the worst.
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6

They’re pessimistic.

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  1. Since people with negative energy or a negative aura choose to ignore the good in themselves and other people, they often harbor a pessimistic outlook on life, and expect everything to fail, no matter how much work they or other people have put into achieving a positive outcome. [8]
    • How to Cope: Handle the situation by reminding the negative energy person that there’s no reason why things wouldn’t work out. For example, you might say, “Don’t worry! We’ve put so much time and effort into this project that there’s no reason why it should fail.”
    • People with pessimistic viewpoints are likely to have been let down many times in their lives, making it important to have empathy by recognizing that there’s likely a reason why they’ve developed a pessimistic mindset.
7

They’re nosey about other people’s business.

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  1. This is because they’re glad to have people to share their negativity with. Not to mention, negative energy people are often very jealous by nature, meaning they delight when people’s plans don’t work out because they have low self-esteem. [9]
    • How to Cope: Be conservative when telling any news to a negative energy person. For example, if they ask how things have been lately, keep it succinct by saying, “I’m doing well. Thanks for asking.”
    • Negative energy people often tend to be very secretive, in that they won’t tell you anything about their life but expect you to tell them about yours so that they can judge what you’re up to.
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8

They’re constantly drained or tired.

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  1. Believe it or not, negativity directly affects your mental and physical health. Negative energy people often deal with a great deal of stress, resulting in a lack of sleep, a weakened immune system, and a lack of positive brain chemicals. [10]
    • How to Cope: Ensure that you or your negative energy person gets at least 7-8 hours of sleep a night. For example, if your partner tends to stay up too late and it’s making them cranky and negative, encourage them to go to bed at the same time you do to get quality sleep .
    • If stress is causing you to have trouble sleeping at night, try getting out in nature to soothe your soul and calm your mind . Regular exercise and a healthy diet can help promote positivity in your life and reduce stress, making it easier for you to get the quality sleep you deserve.
9

They constantly complain.

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  1. Because they like to make their unhappiness known to others for sympathy, they may make it their mission to find something to be upset about [11] . Being around a negative person can make it difficult to see the light in things, as their constant negative jabs make everything seem drab. The less time you give them to complain, the better. [12]
    • How to Cope: Surround yourself with positive people who lift you up. If you’re having difficulty being around a negative energy person, seek out those who bring you joy and support you like your closest friend—plenty of people out there want to see you thrive!
    • If a negative energy person’s complaints are especially grating, take a few deep breaths to ground yourself . You’ll be feeling better in no time!
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10

They lack empathy.

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  1. For example, if you recently went through an emotionally taxing situation, a person with negative energy will take the opportunity to bring up something difficult they’ve been dealing with instead of recognizing the hardships you’ve been through. This is because they need the attention to be on them at all times. [13]
    • How to Cope: Set healthy boundaries with the negative energy person in your life by limiting your time with them and communicating that listening goes both ways.
    • A negative energy person may claim you’re being overly sensitive yet expect you to be sensitive to their complaints and needs [14] .

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      References

      1. ↑ Michelle Arbeau. Numerologist. Expert Interview
      2. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-critical-people
      3. ↑ Michelle Arbeau. Numerologist. Expert Interview
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sapient-nature/201303/dealing-negative-people
      5. ↑ https://hbr.org/2018/08/dealing-with-disappointment
      6. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/victim-mentality
      7. ↑ https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/self-esteem
      8. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/pessimism-vs-optimism/
      9. ↑ https://www.apa.org/monitor/feb05/jealousy
      1. ↑ https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/a-z-topics/stress
      2. ↑ Michelle Arbeau. Numerologist. Expert Interview
      3. ↑ https://communicationmgmt.usc.edu/blog/negative-behavior-work-interventions
      4. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/why-do-some-people-lack-empathy
      5. ↑ Michelle Arbeau. Numerologist. Expert Interview

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