15 Signs of a Superficial Person & How to Deal With One

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Quicky and easy ways to spot a superficial person
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We’ve all been guilty of being a little self-absorbed and selfish at times, but what about people who constantly engage in this type of behavior? Also known as “superficial people,” these individuals only care about their appearance and social status [1] . In this article, we’ll teach you everything you need to know about superficial people, including common signs to watch out for and effective ways to deal with them.

Things You Should Know

1

They’re materialistic.

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  1. Since appearance means everything to them, superficial people love purchasing things that make them look more attractive and successful [5] . They might only wear designer brands or buy luxury goods—even if they can’t afford this lifestyle in the long run! [6]
    • If you’re hanging around a superficial person, it doesn’t mean you have to “keep up” with them. Instead, engage in hobbies that don’t involve spending money like hiking, painting, or listening to your favorite album. By finding joy outside of possessions, you can escape materialism and find happiness .
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2

They’re judgmental of others.

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  1. While they may not have an opinion on important issues, superficial people do have opinions on others, especially when it comes to their appearance. They might make a snarky comment about someone’s job, or give them a backhanded compliment about their outfit or hairstyle. [7]
    • Superficial people constantly criticize others, and no topic is off-limits to them. If you feel uncomfortable with what they’re saying, leave the conversation, or ask them why they feel that way.
    • If they’re willing to listen, you can also encourage them to change their perspective about someone. For instance, you could ask, “Maybe you can put yourself in their shoes?” Or, say, “I think you two have more in common than you might think.”
3

They love to gossip.

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  1. While a deep person is interested in discussing events and ideas, a superficial person is only interested in talking about others [8] . Superficial people aren’t capable of engaging in meaningful conversations, so they love to pry into other people’s business. They might frequently bring up celebrity scandals, or try to get the tea about ex-classmates or friends. [9]
    • If you’re hanging out with a superficial person who frequently gossips about others, consider confronting them . You might say, “How is talking about them adding any value to our lives? I’m not going to participate in this conversation.”
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4

They emphasize physical appearance.

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  1. Rather than kindness and loyalty, superficial people prioritize appearance [10] when it comes to their friends and romantic partners. They might date someone just because they’re “hot,” even if they don’t share a real connection with them. In their mind, being seen with attractive people boosts their own attractiveness, which is the ultimate goal at the end of the day. [11]
    • If you constantly hang out around people who focus on outward appearances, it may negatively impact your self-esteem. Consider limiting your interactions with them so you can take care of yourself properly. Remember to get enough sleep, exercise regularly, and acknowledge your good qualities to feel your best.
5

They’re self-centered.

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  1. Whether it’s deciding what time you’re meeting up with them for dinner or where you’re going to hang out afterward, a superficial person wants everything their way. They don’t consider anyone else’s needs, and they tend to ignore other people’s opinions, ideas, and concerns. [12]
    • To deal with a self-centered friend , think about how their behavior bothers you and communicate your concerns to them. For instance, if they never ask how you're doing, you could say, “I feel upset when you only talk about yourself. It would be really nice if you would ask me how I'm doing.”
    • Alternatively, set boundaries with them so they don’t walk over you. If your friend takes your time for granted, you might say, “I can only stay out until 9 PM because I have work tomorrow. If you want us to stay out later, we’ll have to meet up another time.”
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6

They don’t listen.

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  1. Most superficial people believe that they’re better than others, so they typically don’t give anyone their full, undivided attention. If you’re speaking to a superficial person, they might be looking at their phone or zoning out completely; in other words, they’re disrespectful and rude in conversations. [13]
    • Consider highlighting the importance of your discussion before talking to a superficial person. You could say, “I have something really important to talk about, and I need your help.” This might encourage them to pay attention to you, at least at the beginning of your conversation.
    • If you keep getting frustrated with someone for their lack of listening skills, interpret it as a sign to walk away from the conversation. A superficial person can be difficult to manage, and there’s no point in getting upset about behavior that you have no control over.
7

They interrupt people.

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  1. Instead of letting other people speak, a superficial person will butt into the middle of a conversation, even if they don’t know much about the topic. They’re not afraid to share their unsolicited opinions about something because they have an inflated sense of importance. [14]
    • If a superficial person keeps talking over you, address the issue with them directly, then follow up with a clear boundary. For example, you could say, “Please stop interrupting me when I’m talking. You’ll get the chance to speak when I’m through. If this keeps happening, I’m going to leave the room.”
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8

They’re attention-seeking.

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  1. To superficial people, there’s no such thing as “good” or “bad” attention—they’re satisfied with whatever type of recognition they can get. They enjoy bragging about all of their accomplishments, and they might even exaggerate them to sound cooler. [15]
    • If you’re hanging out with someone who boasts about themself frequently, sit back and let them enjoy their limelight. If they’re truly your friend, try to be happy for them and celebrate their wins
    • However, if their behavior gets out of hand, it might be time to establish boundaries with them. You might say, “I always support you, so I would appreciate it if you could let me have my own moment to shine. If not, I’m going to take a step back from our relationship until you change your behavior.”
9

They’re constantly on social media.

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  1. Whether it’s Instagram, Twitter, or TikTok, superficial people constantly post photos and videos of themselves to get validation from others. They might take a thousand selfies until they find the perfect one to post or edit all their photos to look flawless. [16]
    • If you’re worried about someone who’s constantly posting online, you could challenge them to delete their account for a week or tell them that they’re beautiful without editing their photos.
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10

They’re entitled.

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  1. In a superficial person’s mind, the whole world revolves around them, so they deserve everything they want without working for it. Whether it’s a job or some other opportunity, superficial people aren’t afraid to make outrageous demands, and many are rude to service workers (or anyone that they believe is “below” them). [17]
    • If you’re with a superficial person who is being rude to others, let them know that their behavior isn’t acceptable. You might say, “That was not okay, and I think you need to apologize to them.” Remember, their behavior also reflects you if you stand by and watch it happen.
11

Their relationships are one-sided.

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  1. Relationships with superficial people are incredibly draining because mutual love and respect are nonexistent. Superficial people don’t care about making genuine connections to others, and they typically view their relationships as transactional; they only want to hang out with people who can help them “move up” on the social ladder. [18]
    • Communicate your concerns to the other person fix your one-sided relationship . For example, you might say, “I feel like I’m always here for you, but you’re rarely in my corner. I’d appreciate it if you would return my calls and texts.”
    • If they continue to ignore your needs, interpret it as a sign to step away from your relationship. Remember, it takes two people to make a relationship work, and you deserve someone who will prioritize you!
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12

They don’t accept responsibility.

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  1. While self-aware people recognize that they might be wrong, superficial people usually believe they’re right. They’re unable to look at a situation from a different perspective, so they rarely take responsibility for their actions, leading to problems in their personal and professional life. [19]
    • While you don’t have to forgive a superficial person for hurting you, it may improve your well-being. Express your feelings so you can move forward . You might say, “I didn’t appreciate what you said to me yesterday, and it hurt my feelings. I still love you, but I hope we can work on our communication.”
    • If they repeatedly hurt you, interpret their behavior as a sign to end the relationship , and be clear about why you want to cut ties with them. You could say, “You don't apologize when you make rude comments to me, and I’ve had enough. I don’t want to be around you anymore.”
13

They don’t prioritize self-growth.

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  1. Most superficial people only work on improving their physical appearance [20] . While most people try to become the best versions of themselves, superficial people could care less—they’re mainly concerned with their outward appearance. They lack self-awareness, so they don’t know how to engage in deep and meaningful conversations that go beyond the surface. Because of this, they often struggle to evolve and find their true purpose in life. [21]
    • If you notice that a superficial person is becoming a bad influence on you, limit your interactions with them and make an effort to improve yourself. Set goals for the things you want to accomplish and work on them every day. For instance, you might do something nice for a stranger if you want to be kinder to people.
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14

They lack social and emotional intelligence.

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  1. While they may have a high IQ, superficial people tend to lack depth and intellectual curiosity. They typically absorb information without processing it, which means they rarely develop their own point of view. Since they don’t possess the ability to analyze the behavior of others, they are usually quite shallow and narrow-minded. [22]
    • If you want to encourage a superficial person to develop their own perspective, try asking them what they think of a situation before expressing your own personal opinion.
    • Alternatively, ask them a hypothetical question to engage their brain. For example, you might ask, “If you could overcome one fear, what would it be and why?”
15

They don’t have opinions about real-world issues.

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  1. Along with lacking social and emotional intelligence, superficial people can be self-absorbed. They live in their own world, so they aren’t concerned about social or political issues, even if these issues will impact them later on. Instead, they’re preoccupied with their own “problems,” such as deciding what outfit to wear or what they’re going to eat for dinner. [23]
    • If you’re having trouble talking to a superficial person, try to find conversation topics that they express interest in. Ask them about fashion, sports, music, or movies, and let them show you their world. Remember, you don’t have to have a deep, serious conversation with someone to have an enjoyable one!
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    What are some clear signs that someone is superficial rather than deep?
    Jeffrey Fermin
    Employee Relations Expert
    Jeffrey Fermin is an Employee Relations Expert based in Miami, Florida. He currently works as Head of Demand Generation for AllVoices, a platform that manages employee relations issues. Through his work, he has developed extensive experience with understanding human behavior and the intricacies of work life. He’s also the Founder of a full-service marketing company called New Theory. He has more than 13 years of experience in B2B SaaS marketing, and has specifically focused on human resources technology, digital marketing, and content creation. He earned a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology and a Bachelor of Education from Florida International University. Jeffrey has won a Microsoft Octas Innovation Award and is a TechCrunch Disrupt Runner-Up.
    Jeffrey Fermin
    Employee Relations Expert
    Expert Answer
    There are definitely certain behaviors that suggest someone is more focused on surface-level stuff versus deeper connections. For example, if they constantly talk about appearances, trends, and material things like clothes and cars, that's a red flag. Or if they love gossiping but don't show interest in more meaningful conversations. Inconsistent relationships and needing constant validation are also clues. It's good to be cautious with judgements though, since there may be reasons behind the behavior. But those traits can indicate superficiality versus depth.
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      Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about human behavior, check out our in-depth interview with Jeffrey Fermin .

      References

      1. ↑ Jeffrey Fermin. Employee Relations Expert. Expert Interview
      2. ↑ Jeffrey Fermin. Employee Relations Expert. Expert Interview
      3. ↑ Jeffrey Fermin. Employee Relations Expert. Expert Interview
      4. ↑ Jeffrey Fermin. Employee Relations Expert. Expert Interview
      5. ↑ Jeffrey Fermin. Employee Relations Expert. Expert Interview
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201207/outside-in-dress-impress-yourself
      7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/living-with-eating-disorders/202110/why-do-we-judge-other-people
      8. ↑ Jeffrey Fermin. Employee Relations Expert. Expert Interview
      9. ↑ https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2021-88608-001
      1. ↑ Jeffrey Fermin. Employee Relations Expert. Expert Interview
      2. ↑ https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/our-work/research/body-image-how-we-think-and-feel-about-our-bodies/how-can-we-protect-promote-and-maintain-body-image
      3. ↑ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5429736/
      4. ↑ https://www.dukehealth.org/blog/9-signs-of-narcissistic-personality-disorder
      5. ↑ https://mentalhealth.org.nz/conditions/condition/narcissistic-personality-disorder
      6. ↑ https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/articles/attention-seeking-or-seeking-attention
      7. ↑ https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ1332326.pdf
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/minds-business/feelings-of-entitlement-enhance-creativity.html
      9. ↑ https://www.relate.org.uk/get-help/one-sided-relationships
      10. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/disorders/things-youll-never-see-a-narcissist-do
      11. ↑ Jeffrey Fermin. Employee Relations Expert. Expert Interview
      12. ↑ https://hbr.org/2022/05/prioritizing-self-care-our-favorite-reads
      13. ↑ https://hbr.org/2014/12/signs-that-you-lack-emotional-intelligence
      14. ↑ https://universe.byu.edu/2019/08/01/superficial-conversations-why-you-dont-have-friends/

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