30 Funny Blond Jokes (That Aren’t *Too* Offensive)

1. These jokes highlight a classic stereotype. Have a blonde friend who just had a “blonde moment” or moment of silliness? Maybe they’re being a bit scatterbrained or forgetful. In this moment, a “dumb” blonde joke can be the perfect way to add light to the situation! Take a look at these classic blonde jokes you can tell a loved one with a good sense of humor:

   • Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice? Because it said “concentrate.”
   • Why did the blonde walk slowly past the medicine cabinet? She didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
   • Why did the blonde keep doing the backstroke? She’d just eaten lunch and didn’t want to swim on a full stomach.
   • What does a blonde do when her laptop freezes? She sticks it in the microwave.
   • Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory? She kept throwing away the Ws.
   • What did the blonde say when she saw a Cheerios box? “OMG! Donut seeds!”
   • How do you keep a blonde busy? Write “flip” on both sides of a sheet of paper.
   • How do you keep a blonde in the shower all day? Hand her a bottle of shampoo that says “later, rinse, repeat.”
   • How do you know if a blonde’s been using your computer? You’ll find Wite Out all over the screen.
   • Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Someone told her drinks were on the house .

1. These jokes take a second to reach the punchline. Sometimes, a longer joke is best, especially if you’re entertaining a crowd or a large group of people. These blonde jokes require a bit of a setup, so when you reach that punchline, it’s extra funny! Tell these jokes with a dramatic flair to get the most amount of laughs:

   • A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were trapped on an island, with the nearest land 50 miles away. The redhead swam to land but only made it 15 miles before drowning. The brunette swam 24 miles and then drowned. The blonde swam 25 miles but got tired and swam back to the island.
   • A blonde is standing on one side of a river when she sees another blonde on the other side. She yells out to her, “How do you get to the other side?” The other blonde responds, “Don’t be stupid! You’re already on the other side.”
   • A science teacher tells the class, “Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773.” A blonde student responds, “Thank goodness I was born after 1773! Otherwise, I would have died without it.”
   • There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, she said, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals.” One of the guys said, “I don’t believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?” “N,” she answered.
   • “May I take your order?” the blonde waitress asks. “Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?” the customer asks. “Nothing special,” she replies. “We just tell them straight out that they’re going to die.”
   • Blonde: “What does IDK mean?”
Advertisement

Brunette: “I don’t know.” Blonde: “OMG, nobody does!”

1. These jokes are snappy and to the point. While long jokes are certainly funny, they may not be ideal for every situation. Stick with a short and simple joke for a quick laugh. These blonde jokes aren’t only funny, but can be used at the drop of a hat in moments of tension:

   • Did you hear about the blonde who got excited? She finished a puzzle in 6 months when the box said “2 to 4 years.”
   • Three blondes walk into a building. You’d think one of them would’ve seen it…
   • A blonde orders a pizza, and the clerk asks if he should cut it into six, eight, or twelve pieces. The blonde replies, “Six, please. I could never eat twelve!”
   • Two blondes are driving to Disneyland when they see a sign that says “Disneyland Left.” They both start crying and drive back home.
   • Two blondes fall down a hole. One says, “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” The other replies, “I don’t know. I can’t see.”
   • A guy asks a blonde to see if his car blinker is working. She sticks her head out and says, “Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes…”
   • This blonde calls me and says, “What’s your phone number? I can’t find it!”
   • A man walks by a blonde, who is holding a pig. The man asks, “Where did you get her?” The pig answers, “I won her at the fair.”
   • Three blondes walk into a building. You’d think at least one of them would’ve seen it.

1. Blonde jokes are jokes that capitalize on the “dumb blonde” stereotype. In the media, blonde women have been historically described as physically attractive and mentally repressed. The stereotype is known as the “dumb blonde,” and it’s perceived that a blonde woman is less intelligent than her darker-haired counterparts because of her “blonde moments.” Blonde jokes play off of this stereotype and poke fun at the mental capacity of someone with blonde hair.

   • Examples of the “dumb blonde” stereotype include Karen from Mean Girls and Cher from Clueless.
   • The stereotype stems from the belief that a woman with blonde hair relies on her good looks rather than her intelligence. ^[1] Blonde jokes may praise a woman’s beauty, but they degrade her mental capacity.
   • A “blonde moment” is a phrase used to describe being forgetful, silly, or scatterbrained. ^[2] The phrase is often used facetiously or in a flippant manner. ^[3] Depending on context, a “blonde moment” is said to defuse or minimize a situation or poke fun at an individual.
Advertisement

1. 1
   Blonde jokes can be offensive. Blonde jokes stem from a harmful stereotype that a woman’s hair color determines her intelligence. While some may see these jokes as praise for a blonde’s beauty, others perceive it as an insult to their personality and intellect. ^[4] The joke can be exploitive and mean-spirited, especially if given in a harsh or demeaning context. Because of this, it’s important to know who you’re telling a blonde joke to.

   • If you’re not 100% certain that your joke won’t offend anybody, don’t say it.
2. 2
   Blonde jokes can be sexist. Blonde jokes are primarily targeted toward women by men. The jokes stem from a harmful stereotype that portrays blonde women as unintelligent, flighty, and promiscuous. Targeting a blonde joke toward a blonde woman can be seen as sexist, especially if the joke demoralizes her nature, intellect, or sexual activities. ^[5]

   • Statistics show that about 63% of blonde jokes are directed toward women. ^[6]
   • If you worry that your blonde joke will come across as sexist, don’t say it . There are plenty of other funny jokes out there you can use to make people laugh that won’t cause backlash.
3. 3
   Blonde jokes should be used lightheartedly. With their history, blonde jokes can come across as offensive. If you want to share a blonde joke, make sure you’re telling it without being offensive. Here are some things to keep in mind when telling a joke :

   • Know your audience. Aim to share blonde jokes with someone you know won’t be offended by them.
   • Avoid directing the joke at somebody. Never target your joke toward someone’s physical appearance or abilities. Poking fun at someone will ultimately make a joke offensive.
   • Think before you speak. Consider the context and meaning of your joke before you share it. If you think it could come across as offensive, don’t say it.
Advertisement