How to Act Around Your Boyfriend

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So, you have found a boyfriend. Now you might be wondering, How should I act? Don’t worry, it is not rocket science, although it may feel that way sometimes. Focus on having fun and being yourself. Show you care by taking an interest in his passions and doing kind things for him without being asked. Make sure you communicate openly and honestly, even when being honest feels a little scary.

Part 1
Part 1 of 3:

Having Fun Together

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  1. Flirt with playful teasing. Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you should stop flirting! Tease him about his quirky habits or make up a goofy nickname or two. Just make sure the teasing is fun and lighthearted for both of you. If he gets upset or asks you to stop, it means you’re taking it too far. [1]
    • You could say, “Hey, you’re a pretty good cook...almost as good as my six year old sister!”
    • Tease him about his Stars Wars obsession or his inexplicable love for weird foods.
    • Look for other ways to find humor in everyday situations as well. Doing this will help to reduce any feelings of awkwardness and help your boyfriend associate being around you with having fun.
  2. Don’t be afraid to be silly . Make funny faces together. Watch comedies and laugh your heads off. Tickle him and joke around. Remember, relationships are supposed to be fun!
    • Start a food fight or have a wrestling match.
    • Have a dance party and take tons of goofy selfies.
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  3. Spend quality time with your boyfriend. During quality time, you should be able to talk and connect. That doesn’t mean sitting side-by-side scrolling through your phones. Quality time could be as simple as hanging out after school or eating a meal together. [2]
    • Invite your boyfriend over for a family BBQ, or have a cuddly movie night.
    • Have a pool day, stop for an after-school snack, or go on a hike!
  4. Be yourself . Don’t try to change who you are for your boyfriend. Stop worrying about what he thinks and be your genuine self. You’ll both have more fun if you can let loose around him. [3]
    • Think about the activities you enjoy and the people you love. If you’re changing any of those for your boyfriend, stop.
    • Make a list of your strengths and good qualities. Maybe you’re a hilarious friend or a super talented artist. Embrace and celebrate your positive qualities! Your boyfriend should, too. [4]
    • If he doesn’t accept you for who you are, he’s not worth your time.
  5. You shouldn’t spend every waking moment together. For every hour you spend with your boyfriend, you should spend an hour doing your own thing. Go have fun with your friends and family. Make sure you stay involved in all your clubs, activities, and hobbies. [5]
    • Your boyfriend shouldn’t be your whole world. It’s important to spend time with the other awesome people in your life and take time for yourself. [6]
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Part 2
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Showing You Care

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  1. Be affectionate with touch in a way that feels comfortable to you. Different people show affection in different ways. You might show your affection by holding hands , hugging, caressing, cuddling, kissing, or having sex. Do what feels natural and comfortable to you. [7]
    • Talk to your boyfriend about boundaries. What kinds of touching are you comfortable with? How do you feel about PDA?
    • Don’t feel pressured to have sex . It’s a big decision, and should be something you talk about in depth with your boyfriend and your parents.
  2. You may not be the biggest fan of skateboarding, but if it’s important to your boyfriend, you should at least learn about it. Watch him perform at the skate rink, and listen when he talks about his newest skate trick. [8]
    • Ask him questions about the things he loves to do. If he loves playing the piano, you could ask, “What’s your favorite song to play?”
    • Your boyfriend should also make an effort to understand your interests. Share with your boyfriend what interests you as well to ensure that you are both learning about each other’s interests.
  3. If he’s on the soccer team, show up at his games and cheer as loudly as you can. If he’s in a band, go to a few of their gigs and watch him jam out. He might ask you to come, but you should show up to some of his performances and games without being asked. He’ll value your support.
    • For sporting events, make a poster with his name on it and bring your loudest cheering voice!
  4. Bake him cookies just because, or help him work through a tough homework assignment. These acts of kindness, no matter how small, show that you care. [9]
    • Surprise him with a back massage after a tough day.
    • Leave encouraging notes in his backpack or locker. Say something cute like, “Just wanted to tell you that you’re awesome!”
  5. You don’t have to be best friends with his friends--you don’t even have to like them that much. However, when he wants all of you to hang out together, don’t make up excuses. His friends are important to him. Showing you value his friends shows that you value him. [10]
    • The best thing you can do is show up and try to be friendly.
    • Try to understand why your boyfriend loves his friends. Maybe you’ll learn to love them, too!
    • Remember that it takes time to get to know people. If you feel like you don’t click with his friends right away, be patient.
  6. Keep your promises. Your boyfriend should be able to trust you. If he tells you a secret, don’t turn around and tell your best friend. If you promise you’ll be at his game, don’t bail at the last minute because you’d rather do something else. Keeping your promises shows you’re loyal and committed to the relationship. [11]
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Part 3
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Being a Good Communicator

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  1. Honesty is important for any healthy relationship, so don’t be afraid to tell your boyfriend how you feel. Positive and negative feelings are all fair game. Ask him how he’s feeling, especially if he’s looking down. [12]
    • If you’re upset because he’s been ignoring you at school, let him know. If you’re pumped about the award you just won, tell him.
    • Imagine your boyfriend looks agitated. You could say, “Hey, you look kind of angry. What’s up?”
  2. Be a good listener . Put down your phone and give him 100% of your attention. Try to understand what your boyfriend is actually trying to tell you. Repeat back what he says in your own words to show you understand. If you’re not sure what he’s trying to say, all you have to do is ask.
    • You might say, “So, it seems like you’re angry at your mom. Why is that?”
    • Nod and say phrases “yes” or “I see” to show that you’re listening. [13]
  3. Talking about tough stuff over the phone might be easier in the moment, but it makes solving problems more difficult. If you need to talk about a fight or confront your boyfriend about something hurtful he said, do it face-to-face. [14]
    • You can send him a text saying, “We need to talk. Can we meet up around three today?”
  4. Everyone makes mistakes. If you realize you’ve done something wrong, own up to it. Being stubborn and holding grudges won’t make anyone happy. [15]
    • You could say something like, “I realize that I shouldn't have made fun of you. I’m really sorry.”
  5. You and your boyfriend will probably get in arguments occasionally. Don’t stress—an argument now and then is healthy. However, losing your cool during an argument is not. If you feel yourself getting too angry, stop and take a few deep breaths. [16]
    • Don’t yell or raise your voice. It could make you both angrier.
    • If you’re getting too angry to have a calm conversation, tell your boyfriend that you need to finish the conversation later when you’ve cooled down.
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How can I get my crush to ask me out?
    Tasha Rube, LMSW
    Licensed Master Social Worker
    Tasha Rube is a Licensed Social Worker based in Kansas City, Kansas. Tasha is affiliated with the Dwight D. Eisenhower VA Medical Center in Leavenworth, Kansas. She received her Masters of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Missouri in 2014.
    Tasha Rube, LMSW
    Licensed Master Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    First realize you can’t MAKE someone do something. The best thing you can do is be true to yourself as this will be seen by others as well. The more honest and true to yourself you are, the more positive attention you will draw to you, especially if you express yourself honestly around your crush.
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    Not Helpful 17 Helpful 55
  • Question
    I'm nervous about my second date with my boyfriend. What should I do?
    Tasha Rube, LMSW
    Licensed Master Social Worker
    Tasha Rube is a Licensed Social Worker based in Kansas City, Kansas. Tasha is affiliated with the Dwight D. Eisenhower VA Medical Center in Leavenworth, Kansas. She received her Masters of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Missouri in 2014.
    Tasha Rube, LMSW
    Licensed Master Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    Try to figure out why you feel nervous. Chances are your nervousness is from some insecurity you have within yourself. Do your best to identify all of your strengths and realize that the more confidence you show in yourself will be reflected to others when they are around. People are attracted to self-confidence in others.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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    Not Helpful 9 Helpful 45
  • Question
    I feel really shy around my boyfriend. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Try to spend more time together. The more time you spend with your boyfriend, the less shy you'll feel. Try hanging out with him in a group first if you're feeling nervous. Remember that if he's your boyfriend, he obviously likes you and wants to get to know you better!
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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      Warnings

      • When in doubt, do what feels natural. Overthinking your every move can make it harder to connect with your boyfriend. Plus, it's exhausting!
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      References

      1. ↑ http://lifehacker.com/how-to-flirt-with-finesse-1781881776
      2. ↑ Joshua Pompey. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.
      3. ↑ Joshua Pompey. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.
      4. ↑ https://tinybuddha.com/blog/dare-to-live-10-unconventional-ways-to-be-true-to-yourself/
      5. ↑ https://www.glamour.com/gallery/the-dos-and-donts-of-new-relationships#3
      6. ↑ https://www.glamour.com/gallery/the-dos-and-donts-of-new-relationships#4
      7. ↑ Joshua Pompey. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-fitness/201210/10-relationship-behaviors-the-happiest-couples
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-fitness/201210/10-relationship-behaviors-the-happiest-couples
      1. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/accept-your-partners-friends#2
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-fitness/201210/10-relationship-behaviors-the-happiest-couples
      3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-fitness/201210/10-relationship-behaviors-the-happiest-couples
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-the-face-adversity/201111/being-good-listener
      5. ↑ https://www.glamour.com/gallery/the-dos-and-donts-of-new-relationships#5
      6. ↑ https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/teens/relationships/relationships-101/having-healthy-relationship
      7. ↑ http://thescienceexplorer.com/brain-and-body/neuroscience-tips-remain-calm-argument

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      If you're wondering how to act around your boyfriend, just be yourself, since he should love you for who you are. When you’re alone, flirt and tease him playfully to keep things lighthearted. For example, tickle him or make a silly face if he makes a joke about you. Along with having fun, share your feelings with him so you can better understand each other. For instance, if you’re upset because he’s been ignoring you at school, tell him how you feel. When you have an argument, try to stay calm and avoid yelling so you don’t get mad and say something you'll regret. If you feel yourself getting too angry, pause and take a few deep breaths to calm yourself. For more tips from our co-author, including how to do nice things for your boyfriend to make him feel special, read on!

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