Am I Too Nice?

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Are you often told you’re “too nice”?

Tell us how you’d react in these situations, and we’ll tell you just how nice you really are!

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Questions Overview

1. Let's say your feet hurt, but someone else wants your seat. What do you do?
  1. Quickly stand up and give it to them with a smile. I'll be okay.
  2. Politely refuse to give it to them, as I was here first.
  3. I don't know what I’d do.
  4. Rudely refuse to give it to them. I got here first!
2. You run into someone that used to bully you in school. They’re not doing so well and need some spare change. What do you say?
  1. Give them all the cash in your wallet.
  2. Give them a few dollars but keep enough for myself.
  3. Tell them to stop bothering me. They don’t deserve my money.
  4. Ignore them and walk away laughing.
3. You're walking and accidentally spill coffee on someone's shirt. What do you do?
  1. Apologize sincerely and offer to buy them a new shirt.
  2. Apologize quickly and continue about my day. I’m in a hurry.
  3. Say “My bad!” and keep walking. I have places to be.
  4. I say nothing at all and pretend like nothing happened.
4. A classmate’s birthday is coming up. What do you do?
  1. Surprise them with a basket full of their favorite things.
  2. Buy them a simple gift, like candy or something.
  3. Wish them a happy birthday, but that’s it.
  4. Nothing. I don’t know them well enough.
5. Let’s say someone is trying to start an argument with you. What do you do?
  1. Quickly apologize and drop the argument. It’s not worth it.
  2. Drop a few good comebacks, but avoid stooping to their level.
  3. Stand my ground and match their energy. I’ll see this through.
  4. Threaten getting physical. I’ll probably through a punch or two if I have to.
6. Someone intentionally knocks over your block tower after you spent ages working on it. What do you do?
  1. Tell them it’s fine, even though I’m upset. I could make a new one.
  2. Brush it off. It wasn’t really that nice of a tower anyways.
  3. Get mad and tell them off. I worked really hard on that!
  4. Throw a block at them. They deserve it.
7. A childhood friend misses your birthday party to hang out with another friend. What do you do?
  1. Tell them it’s okay. It was a boring party anyway.
  2. Yell at them, but eventually forgive them. I guess life just happens.
  3. Not show up on their birthday. See how they like that!
  4. Cut them off completely. I don’t want to be friends anymore.
8. A bully asks you for your lunch money. What do you do?
  1. Give them all of it. I’d rather not eat today anyway.
  2. Give them half of it. That’s a win-win, right?
  3. Tell them “no,” even though I’m scared.
  4. Tell them “no” sternly. It’s my money, and they can’t have it.

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Can You Be Too Nice?

Believe it or not, it is possible to be too nice. Niceness is a virtue, a positive trait many people aspire to have, but it can come at a cost. If you’re too nice, it can be easy for others to take advantage of you and your kindness. This happens when you don’t have strong boundaries or are unable to stand up for yourself.

So, are you being taken advantage of because you’re too nice? Here are 5 common signs that you’re being too nice:

  • You say “yes” no matter what. It’s okay to say “no” every now and then—you’re not being selfish! Avoid committing to things you don’t have the physical or emotional capacity for.
  • You avoid conflict. Conflict can be healthy. Don’t be afraid to have a discussion with someone you disagree with or speak your mind even if you know it’s not the opinion of everyone else.
  • You don’t ask for help. You don’t have to do everything on your own. Asking for help doesn’t make you a burden—it makes you human!
  • You feel responsible for other people’s feelings. The only emotions you can control are your own. You’re responsible for yourself and how you act, and that’s it.
  • You say “I’m sorry” a lot. Apologizing is good, but it doesn’t have to be your go-to! Not every situation is your fault. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Sometimes, life just happens.

Want to learn more?

For more information about being too nice, check out these resources:

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